Reaching the end - graduation - now what?

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Reaching the end - graduation - now what?

Unread postby big guy » Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:29 am

Still static from the ex but the Holy Grail is in sight: graduation in less than two months. In August she goes off to school an hour away. I plan to make the most of the Summer.

How many are you are prepared for the empty nest after years of custody issues?

The battles are done and the war is almost over.

I made the kids number one priority in my life for 4 and a half years. I sacrificed everything to provide. That stage of life is coming to a close. Sure there is college to help pay for and a car to be bought before graduation, but the driving reason to get up every day and go to work or to hammer it out at the side business is already leaving me.

I am lining up a couple of trips to visit friends in places where I have never been before. I do enjoy the quiet of the house when the kids are both off doing their thing. My son likes to hang out with dear old dad quite often. The thing that I miss the most since the breakup is that I want to feel important in someone else's life - like I mattered. I didn't realize that in the turmoil of the last few years. Life is a journey and the struggle of divorce doesn't last forever. It's a good feeling to be on the other side.
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Re: Reaching the end - graduation - now what?

Unread postby BartSimpson » Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:33 am

You matter to us.
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Re: Reaching the end - graduation - now what?

Unread postby hoosier_dad » Tue Mar 28, 2017 11:21 am

Image

Your children may be grown but there are plenty of others that need you. Find your cause.
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Re: Reaching the end - graduation - now what?

Unread postby gamingdad » Tue Mar 28, 2017 11:25 am

Congrats on the achievement of making it through.
The neat thing about all this is, now that you have sent free time, the ability to pursue different experiences which will help broaden your horizons, partly filling up that hole left by an ex, and as you find those adventures, you may even be able to share them with kiddo, further deepening the connection.
And while Bart is right that you do matter to us, I'm not spooning you, unless you really need it. :)
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Re: Reaching the end - graduation - now what?

Unread postby Phoenix853 » Tue Mar 28, 2017 1:02 pm

I'm not spooning you ever.

You should take some time for yourself as you said. Find hobbies and take a deep breath. It's not over your kids will need you for a lifetime. They know you'll be their for them due to your sacrifices.

Relax, enjoy life.
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Re: Reaching the end - graduation - now what?

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Tue Mar 28, 2017 1:09 pm

big guy wrote:How many are you are prepared for the empty nest after years of custody issues?
Launching an adult child is one of the hardest things you will ever do.

Tom
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Re: Reaching the end - graduation - now what?

Unread postby spritom » Wed Mar 29, 2017 12:20 pm

Awesome news indeed!

Tom's not wrong, the young-adult-leaving-the-nest-into-the-world thing is a thing.

Last:
For some states, if there is child support (or spousal support if applicable/tied to child's age)....it doesn't always end automatically. Many dads have found:
* child turned 18
* CS didn't stop
* they finally filed a paper to stop it
* it took a couple extra months
* they never got that extra money back

So being 2 months out, you're in a great spot. If needed for your state, putting in a motion for CS to meet it's Grande Finale is right about on time now.
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Re: Reaching the end - graduation - now what?

Unread postby AtticusFinch » Thu Mar 30, 2017 2:37 pm

I'm at the same point in my life. S17 will be away at college starting in September.

It's going to be strange, we've been together practically every Saturday for 17 years.

I'm looking into being a Big Brother on Saturdays in the future.

http://www.bbbs.org/

From the website: "While girls and boys across the country are waiting to be matched, there are thousands of boys in particular who are ready and waiting to be matched with Big Brothers right now ... that's double the number of girls waiting for a Big Sister."
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Re: Reaching the end - graduation - now what?

Unread postby Havalu7 » Sat Apr 01, 2017 9:28 pm

Good job Big Guy!
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Re: Reaching the end - graduation - now what?

Unread postby massdaddio » Sun Apr 02, 2017 7:56 am

I've been involved with the Big Brother program for many years. After my divorce and the EOW screw job, I had a lot of time on my hands, so wanted to do something useful. It was a great experience for me. I enjoyed spending time with the boys and having another responsible adult in their lives has been good for them. The program receives a lot of free tickets to sporting events and other activities. It wasn't a problem for us to keep busy!
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