Filing a motion on home school vs public -Prose or a Lawyer?

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Filing a motion on home school vs public -Prose or a Lawyer?

Unread postby Ireadthelist » Tue Mar 21, 2017 7:04 pm

Hey Guys; I started a thread last year about my course of action regarding D5`s schooling. He would be starting K5 this fall. Former wife wants to home-school, while I am in favor of public school for a variety of reasons. Here is a link to that thread for some background if you care to read it--
She has stated via email since then that she wants to home school him on her own or with my help until at least middle school, at which point we can "revisit" the issue.

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=76116

If I had my choice, he would be going into k5 starting this september with his age. This is our first real impasse since the divorce, as we mostly just parallel parent and have learned to disengage that way.

Since she and I are at odds as to which way to move forward, I filed a request for mediation through the courts as my final judgement mandates. They give us 10 days, at which point I am free to file a motion asking a magistrate or a judge to rule on our case.

I called a couple of lawyers for a free consult in the area to see what their thoughts were, and the one that knows my judge the best said in his experience the judge I have really just takes control of the procedure. It is a fairly simple process that he says I might as well file on my own and just let the judge decide. Both lawyers said there was no case law and no precedent for how the judge would rule. My concern would be that the judge would rule in her favor, and set a status quo that would be in effect until the d5 graduates.

Would you guys hire a lawyer for this, or attempt prose since she is prose as well? The lawyers said, in their opinion, the best argument for me would be that I feel that the child needs more social interaction and I believe he can better develop in public school. I should also state to the judge that I do not have a desire to be a home school teacher. However, I know my former wife has already enrolled him in multiple extracurricular activities already, and is willing to home school him entirely on her own in the 4 days, 3 overnights that she has him. My main concern is that she would effectively be able to completely control his educational process, and I want him to develop with both of our input. Since we only function well with parallel parenting, there is no way to make home school work with me involved.

What are your thoughts? Thanks in advance....
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Re: Filing a motion on home school vs public -Prose or a Law

Unread postby JimRockford » Tue Mar 21, 2017 9:10 pm

Fight home school with every fiber of your being. This is a hill to die on. I had a similar situation:

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=71293
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Re: Filing a motion on home school vs public -Prose or a Law

Unread postby hopeful dad » Tue Mar 21, 2017 9:24 pm

ireadthelist,

I think you should fight the homeschool hiring a proper family lawyer. I am sure others will chime in. I am not an expert on this

I am also at a stage where I need to start discussing with ex regarding D's school. D will start Kindergarten next year.

How did you break the ice with her regarding this topic?

Thanks
Moving forward with distress behind!
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Re: Filing a motion on home school vs public -Prose or a Law

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Tue Mar 21, 2017 11:29 pm

IMHO, NJ is being coached. Fight home school with everything you can muster.

Simply stated, it's NJ's back door to gain primary custody. This is your hill to die on.

1) Has divorce been finalized??

2) Who is primary parent?? Who is final decision maker??.....for school??.....for medical??

3) Does your decree make specific mention of home school or private school??

search.php?keywords=homeschool

search.php?st=0&sk=t&sd=d&sr=posts&keywords=homeschooling

Tom
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Re: Filing a motion on home school vs public -Prose or a Law

Unread postby Ireadthelist » Wed Mar 22, 2017 7:56 am

Re: Filing a motion on home school vs public -Prose or a Law
Postby JimRockford » Tue Mar 21, 2017 9:10 pm

Fight home school with every fiber of your being. This is a hill to die on. I had a similar situation:


Wow, I had`nt seen your thread prior to your post Jim...thanks for sharing. Am I correct in understanding that you prevailed in keeping in the regular/non charter school? That definitely strengthens my resolve....




How did you break the ice with her regarding this topic?

hopeful dad



hopeful dad--- I sent her a concise email as was recommended on the board last year for vpk. Basically-here are three excellent vpk programs that are provided at no charge to us by the state for d4, all close to your house. Do you have any interest in enrolling him now that he is of age?

Over the course of a couple of emails we came to understand each others feelings on his education, and I walked away from the fight last year since the program was voluntary. I figure that I will have more of a chance this year in court, and don`t want their to be a status quo with schooling prior to a judge`s ruling....

Tom Kirkpatrick » Tue Mar 21, 2017 11:29 pm


1) Has divorce been finalized??

2) Who is primary parent?? Who is final decision maker??.....for school??.....for medical??

3) Does your decree make specific mention of home school or private school??



Tom, here are the answers-

1-Yes, finalized in 2014

2-We have a schedule that is nearly identical overnights, although she has more days. Some years I have a couple of nights more, sometime her, so we trade deductions. We have shared/joint decision making in the fj-no boxes checked by the judge for authority in medical or school.

3. This question got me thinking. No, technically it doe`snt. But it does say that the school designation will be in her district. Would a useful strategy be, instead of filing a blank motion , enrolling d5 in k5 in her district as the fj stipulates, then filing a motion for contempt if she does not comply on her days to bring him?

I`ll dig into those searches again-I`ve done it before but I know I may have overlooked something....
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Re: Filing a motion on home school vs public -Prose or a Law

Unread postby JimRockford » Wed Mar 22, 2017 9:43 am

Yes I did prevail. From everything that I was told, she had the uphill battle as she was going against status quo. However, I prepared as if I was the one who had the slim chance. The main thing that I did was looked into the school and found that it had poor outcomes, declining enrollment and was basically run by a bunch of clowns who used the school to funnel tax payer money into their own business. I used data that the charter supplied to the state for my conclusions. I learned quite a bit about charter schools in the process and went from someone who had a relatively open mind about them to one who is now very skeptical, but that is another story.

Don't fall for the sucker's trap of, "let's just try it for a year." That's a setup to establish a new status quo that you would have agreed to, then if you try to attempt to later stop homeschool, you are screwed as you already agreed to it.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
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Re: Filing a motion on home school vs public -Prose or a Law

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Wed Mar 22, 2017 10:59 am

JimRockford wrote:Don't fall for the sucker's trap of, "let's just try it for a year." That's a setup to establish a new status quo that you would have agreed to, then if you try to attempt to later top homeschool, you are screwed as you already agreed to it.
^^^ +1.

NJ's school choice is akin to alienation via home school.

OP - Look at the flip side of NJ's proposal (you need to buy some time; kick this can down the road):

"We should enroll D5 in public school, per decree. And if she's doing poorly by the time she starts middle school, we can re-evaluate our options."

Ireadthelist wrote:.....school designation will be in her district.
This implies public school. At least that was the parties' intent at the time divorce was finalized. And FYI, NJ is looking to redefine that intent.

Tom
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Re: Filing a motion on home school vs public -Prose or a Law

Unread postby Ireadthelist » Wed Mar 22, 2017 11:18 am

Glad to hear you prevailed Jim; I think it`s a gray enough area in the law that the judge will typically take the avenue of maintaining status quo, but you were prepared for anything. That is why I am getting this taken care of before K5....


Tom Kirkpatrick
We should enroll D5 in public school, per decree. And if she's doing poorly by the time she starts middle school, we can re-evaluate our options


I am beginning to think this is a smart strategy Tom. The question is, do I go full tilt, enroll him for the fall in the school in her district without her consent, and try to compel her with a motion to follow this(with demonstrable evidence that I tried to involve her, asked for mediation, and that she refused to comply with the order), or just ask the judge to rule on the issue prior to enrolling him?
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Re: Filing a motion on home school vs public -Prose or a Law

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Wed Mar 22, 2017 11:35 am

Ireadthelist wrote:Would a useful strategy be.....enrolling D5 in k5 in her district.....then filing a motion for contempt if she does not comply.....
Yes.

By enrolling D5 preemptively, you're following decree terms and conditions. After all, it shouldn't matter who enrolls D5, so long as it gets done, right??

But if NJ refuses to comply, you'll never get a contempt ruling. Instead, you should file a Motion to Enforce. And if NJ becomes overly difficult, you should consider filing a motion to become primary parent and/or final decision maker (school; medical). We're talking best interest here.

Tom
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Re: Filing a motion on home school vs public -Prose or a Law

Unread postby Ireadthelist » Wed Mar 22, 2017 7:13 pm

Thanks for the input Tom.

I did some research today, and it looks like the last window to enroll d5 for the fall term is early april. Trouble is, I have to prove her residency with a drivers licence or utility records since it is in her district d5 will be enrolled. Looks like the only way to enroll d5 is to have the former wife do it. I`ll go ahead and hire the lawyer and have him file the motion right away, but chances are I will miss the deadline...
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