EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYER

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Re: EX'S DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAW

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 4:17 pm

Yeah, don't do that.

What motions have been filed? what is the history? We need all the details.
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Re: EX'S DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAW

Unread postby tdever » Wed Mar 15, 2017 5:05 pm

Divorce was March 17 of last year. Joint custody, again she has physical custody. I used to live in SC, moved to Ohio about 12 months ago. I worked in Afghanistan.

Currently I have a court date set for May 22nd, which is what I am using my lawyer for. I am doing a rule to show cause, 13 counts of contempt, from < parenting time > denial to phone call detail, to violation of the NACO.


So our talking has always been argumentative. However with the introduction of the new boyfriend it has gotten much worse on her part.

So last week as I have been saying to her for the last seven months all documented, that I want the able to find a way to get a long and Coparent our children, to which she replied. I am tired of talking to you you always send ridiculous requests asking about our children.

My ridiculous requests were what were the names of the softball and gymnastics places where my girls are currently attending. So I said that I wanted a update, which I never get unless it is from my daughters which are twin 8 year old and a 5 year old.

So from that she said that she was going to take me to court for contempt after she received my rule to show cause, she is wanting to take me for violation of the NACO she says that I send her to many e mails.

I do not have the physical address where my daughters live and haven't in 7 months because she moved in with her BF. She allows him to come to pick up and drop offs and usually trys to start a physical altercation between the two of us.

I do not have a number that I can call my girls. And now that she said she is no longer going to talk to me, the only thing I can do is contact her lawyer about my < parenting time > and phone calls etc.
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Re: EX'S DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAW

Unread postby tdever » Wed Mar 15, 2017 5:10 pm

I have told her and her attorney and my attorney that I am not going to use legal counsel to schedule my parenting time with her. I am not paying money. If I represent myself her attorney must and legally has to talk to me.


the whole situation is ridiculous.. I talked with my lawyer earlier and we are going to amend the contempt charges to add this latest things, and request a hearing for modification of custody, and ask for me to be the primary care giver or Placement. and ask for a reduction in support.

Again, I currently have 47 % custody in the state of SC. that is thursday thru monday one week the next is thursday and friday, holidays the standard summer would be week on week off. Currently since I live out of state I have one long weekend a month of my choosing I have to schedule one week out. I have every thanksgiving I have the second half of christmas break every other spring break and 6 consecutive weeks in the summer.

It sounds like I have a lot of parenting time and I do when she gives it to me. or when it is not a absolute nightmare to deal with her and her BF
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Re: EX'S DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAW

Unread postby afc » Wed Mar 15, 2017 5:17 pm

You need to move that "on the horizon" up.

Move back asap. Hopefully you haven't gotten attached to anything in OH that makes that difficult.

If you have, dump her now
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Re: EX'S DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAW

Unread postby tdever » Wed Mar 15, 2017 5:24 pm

Lol, no that is not what is keeping me out of SC. A move is of course hugely expensive, and of course job considerations etc. It sounds really easy to pick up and move. And for some it is, and for for a year I have had a lawyer tell me you need to come back and live under abridge if you have to. Well I see the logic in it however, easier said than done. I have never missed a weekend < parenting time > or scheduled holiday time. I drive to SC from here which is about 500 miles and drive straight back to my house with all three girls as I think that it is important that my girls see that I have a real life, and not just a disney land dad if I stay in SC for a long weekend, here they see me doing household things they have a bedroom we eat and cook together etc. Much better than staying in a hotel for a weekend, but a huge hassle to drive the 2000 miles every month and the 32 hours in a vehicle
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Re: EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYE

Unread postby Trevor » Wed Mar 15, 2017 9:42 pm

You need to be looking every day for a job where your kids live. This will never get easier until you do live near them. Stop putting it off. It's a requirement, not a nice-to-have. Your kids need you more than your employer does. Every day that you drag your feet solidifies your X's knowledge that she has all the power and you have next to none. And her BFs have more face time with your kids than you do.
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYE

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 5:57 am

Nothing you want to see happen will happen. What is most likely to happen is when its all said and done is you two will end up with a new parenting plan with you having minimum parenting time and your ex having all the power and control.

The only way to turn this around is move close to your kids, same school district is ideal and then be superdad. That's just the baseline of what you will need to do.
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Re: EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYE

Unread postby jumanji » Thu Mar 16, 2017 6:24 am

If you have lived in OH for more than 6 mos, the LD schedule is your status quo - not your 47% in SC. That's out the window.

If you cannot or will not move back to SC, you should ask the court to order a specific schedule, based on the distance.
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Re: EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYE

Unread postby Phoenix853 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:24 am

I think you'll be wasting your time and money on these contempt charges. You should of had an attorney in the first place to wrangle all the BullShiet going on now. Now your play this from the cheap seats.

Use her Attorney to schedule your 1 weekend a month.
Expect she will not co-parent with you or give you information about your kids.
Expect that when you live so far away you are a part-time parent and you don't have control over what goes in their home.

My guess is your are sending a lot of emails about the who, what, where and when about the kids. You have to face the fact she will not be sending you the information.

You don't have anything near 50% custody, you moved away and have been gone for a year. It will be easy for her to show you aren't involved and can have the custody changed in her favor. Move closer and reduce her argument. You can't prove to the courts you want to be more involve by emailing question.

You sir, are in denial about how this post divorce is going to go. At this stage and your distance, she runs the show. You have put yourself in the back seat. The more you push, the easier it will be for her to show what a nut job you are becoming. Requesting all this information about your kids. If you want to know move closer and you'll have a better leg to stand on.
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Re: EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYE

Unread postby jumanji » Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:59 am

If you have a court date scheduled, you must have an address (since she had to have been served). So you must know where (at least the oldest) girls go to school. Have you contacted the school to find out their teachers, how they are doing, get report cards, etc sent to you? Access to their parent portal?

Honestly, you need to use a lawyer at this point, instead of phoning it in...
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