Been 3 months since agreement signed, received final notice from judge.
To recap, NY state, my EX (married approx 5 years, together 10 (college sweethearts, blah blah blah)), had started a new job, knew a guy for 12 weeks, had an affair (guy was married at time, had a toddler and a preg wife), my ex got pregnant with his kid, started acted weird, I found out and started the divorce process, we continued to live together through the process and she had his baby (the kid is not mine, kid is clearly a different race). My ex and I have a daughter almost 3 now.
She never took accountability for her actions or any blame or showed any signs of remorse. I stopped looking for them.
Since we settled:
(1) She introduced by daughter to the guy without giving me the heads up. When I protested on the grounds of just letting me know to prepare a response when my D says the guys name, she stated that “she figured I’d never want them to meet anyway so she went ahead and did it.”
I told her that since our communications are so broken down, everything via email from now on. Have improved things 1000%
(2) My EX and OM have been doing everything to avoid me. I’ve never made a threat nor would I. The other day, I was running late for work, and they both were in the car to drop my Daughter off at my place (sitter was there). As the car approached my block, they saw me, stopped the car and made a U-turn off the block to avoid me. Then my ex walked my D to my door. I didn’t say anything.
(3) When I drop off my D, my ex has hid her left hand and made it obvious she is doing so. I surmise she is wearing an engagement ring. I have kept radio silent.
As part of my settlement, my ex signed a stipulation that she would go to family court and file a motion for filiation so this other kid is officially not mine. We waited for the papers to be filed before we signed in December.
Yesterday, my ex emailed me, and then I got served papers (dated 1/26) so she sat on this as long as she could, that family court hearing is finally being held next week for her and this guy for a hearing of filiation. Shed then sent me an email saying if I don’t attend, I could just send a certified letter saying I have no objection for the finding of paternity to be made. She really doesn’t want me there. This guy appears to be afraid to be in the same room with me. I know he’s broke, he moved 40 miles away from his daughters to be closer to my ex, and he sees his daughters 4 nights a month. His choice
From what I understand at the hearing, the judge would just ask me if I had any objections to their paternity.
Would you guys go to the hearing? Would you say something to the guy? My gut says go to the hearing, and stay quiet, letting the facts of the case speak for themselves. I don’t want to run this question by my attorney as I don’t want a charge.
Trying to move on, closing these pieces down one at a time.