Wife has restraining order on me, should I get back with her

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Wife has restraining order on me, should I get back with her

Unread postby fcastillo0295 » Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:34 pm

I have been with my wife for almost 4 years, I honestly have failed as a husband and abused her many times (nothing close to a beating though). This is no excuse, but she is diagnosed with depression and acute anxiety. She once admitted to me that she created fights to later manipulate me after I got aggressive. Our therapist told us that she did that because she was abused physically as a child and was the only way she knew how to cope. I have taken her to 2 doctors and she doesn't cooperate by taking her prescribed medicine for her conditions... Last week after a big mistake on my part, she had enough and left the house, put a restraining order on me for 6 months and is now staying with her family who hates me, who abused her as a child and are the most toxic people for her. We were even trying to have kids before she left and discontinued her fertility treatment. I have continued to go to the psychiatrist we shared every day as this all has been very traumatic and I want to work on my aggressiveness and get my wife back. She only went once on her own and the doctor who is the only one who has the permission from the judge to have communication told me she has not made any other appointments. He told me she was closed off and he asked her to drop the order, but she refused and told him, she needed time. I filed for divorce (even though both of us only believed in reaching that means if a party was unfaithful) as I don't see any interest in her part and 6 months without knowing anything, not even communication for so long is just too much. Now I am regretting it as I love her so much and we have been through so much together. I am willing to work on my part, go to therapy, take my meds but since I can't talk to her at all, I have no clue what to do. Everyone is telling me to move on, but my heart tells me I don't want to. I feel in my heart she hasn't given up, but in 28 days we're officially divorced and I don't know if to give her more time and cancel it, or leave it as is and move on... Update: She made an appointment with the psychiatrist for early this week.
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Re: Wife has restraining order on me, should I get back with

Unread postby massdad1234 » Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:37 pm

If you put your hands on a woman, you are a coward. Regardless, the 2 of you need to stay away from each other, you love the drama as much as she does.

You want her to come back because you like that she puts up with your crap and she feels she deserves it. If there aren't any kids involved, grow up, get a divorce and get help for your hatred for women.
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Re: Is there coming back from a restraining order?

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:51 pm

You should cut your losses and move on. This one's not a good match for you.
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Re: Wife has restraining order on me, should I get back with

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:56 pm

White Knight to the rescue.
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Re: Is there coming back from a restraining order?

Unread postby Trevor » Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:35 pm

Agree with Fo4. There is life after her - and based on what you've written, it can't be worse.

You two are a hot mess and the last thing you should be considering is bringing a child into the toxic cesspool you call a relationship.

Have mercy on the potential child! Know this: having a kid will not fix either of you and will positively not fix you and her together. This would be a messed up child. Don't do it.

Get out of the ugliness and fix yourself. It may take a year or three but I promise if you do that, your life will be better. Only then should you consider sharing a life with someone else.
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: Wife has restraining order on me, should I get back with

Unread postby Mock Turtle » Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:59 pm

If you can't trust your heart then give your brain a try. What could possibly go wrong?
γού καvνοτ βε ας ςτοοpid ας Ι αm ηνλεςς γού Ηαvε βεεη ας ςmαρτ ας Ι ψας.
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Re: Wife has restraining order on me, should I get back with

Unread postby JimRockford » Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:43 am

Family court has it's moments, sometimes it's a little like theater. One of the funniest things that I saw was on my first visit where this woman was applying for a restraining order. The judge called the case, and she was there and he was not, the Judge then asked where he was. She then spoke up and said that he would be there soon, as he was parking the car as he had just dropped her off as they were running a little late after getting the kiddos off to school. Judge then immediately dismissed her request for the order.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
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Re: Wife has restraining order on me, should I get back with

Unread postby spritom » Tue Mar 21, 2017 11:56 am

...should I get back with her


Seems like a big No from everything you've posted.


It can be tough goin'...hang in there, you'll find some peace and relief soon enough and look back at this time and see it more clearly.
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Re: Wife has restraining order on me, should I get back with

Unread postby whatever_works » Tue Mar 21, 2017 12:37 pm

How many ways are there to say no? You are only thinking yes because she still has hooks in you and knows how to manipulate you. Read up on personality disorders. There is a book called Emotional Vampires. Please read that book and tell me if you should be getting back together.
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Re: Wife has restraining order on me, should I get back with

Unread postby Trevor » Tue Mar 21, 2017 4:36 pm

Drive-by poster.
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