College and current order

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: College and current order

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:12 am

For consideration :

You appear to place a great value on keeping one's word. He said he would so he should and that's that.

That both you and your wife are previously divorced adds a touch of irony, don't you think?
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Re: College and current order

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:28 am

Point being, life is change.

Yes, its in the agreement. Surely his circumstances have changed. Maybe he doesnt have the money. Maybe he believes its important for a young adult to struggle and have some skin in the game. It could be any number of things and its a good bet that he thinks he has good reasons for doing what he's doing.

Luckily, we dont force people to rigidly adhere to every promise or contract. If that were the case you and your lovely new wife would not be allowed to be together.

Just something to consider when deciding what to start a war over.
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Re: College and current order

Unread postby pixelstick » Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:58 am

Sure. Their dad was involved with the first but not the second as it was after the divorce and he didn't want anything to do with it, I'm guessing because he didn't plan on paying half from the beginning. He was (and still is) an absentee dad and basically wants nothing to do with his kids. These are reasonably priced used cars, nothing exotic like Lexus, BMW, etc.

FatherOfFour, I've found that there is a lot of irony in life and the irony you speak of is actually working out very well for us. Would be perfect if not having to deal with exes actively trying to cause problems. Seems like when people are happy others try to sour it for whatever reason. And yes, I would think that one who signs papers agreeing with whatever would abide by those until the time they were changed. The method her ex is using is the wrong way of handling it.

But back to my original question, it sounds like it depends a lot on the judge that would be making the decision about the noncustodial parent paying a portion of college expenses.
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Re: College and current order

Unread postby Havalu7 » Fri Mar 03, 2017 11:02 am

OP these guys here will help you.

You have some of the heavy hitters here trying to help you bro (newbie myself here).

Toughen up your skin and take the sarcasm with a grain of salt and get down to the issues. Even guys here whom YOU (meaning even I) perceive that don't like you personally will help you because the goal of the forum is the best outcome for the kids involved.

KISS principal in effect and after this is over and the dust settles even you can become a highly paid volunteer here and help shovel the gravel. Don't let humor and sarcasm deter you from taking full advantage of the very expensive and costly strategy given here.

You will succeed for your kids if that is the goal you have in mind. Elsewise the sarcasm and humor will increase in spades.

Focus on your kids best outcome and join the effort to help other guys out; once you get past the no nonsense grit that sometimes comes with shaping gents into fine tuned kid helping machines. There are also guys here that can benefit from my and your situations that don't have kids if they just apply the tactics given here to get the best outcome for themselves in a childless separation.

Sack up and stick around brotato 8 )
”No is a complete sentence” Unknown
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Re: College and current order

Unread postby pixelstick » Fri Mar 03, 2017 11:59 am

Thanks, I'm a pretty open minded person and a giver but also don't subscribe to the opinion that having knowledge gives you the right to judge or be sarcastic. I believe there is enough negativity in the world, as evidence by the existence of this forum. I do appreciate answers, suggestions or thoughts though.
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Re: College and current order

Unread postby Phoenix853 » Fri Mar 03, 2017 12:13 pm

What are the reasons your Wife's Ex gives for not paying?
How long ago did they divorce?
Who moved away during/after the divorce?
How Far does the Father live from his Kids?

Again, Year, Make, Model, Price of the car? People here are able to help if we know the details.
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Re: College and current order

Unread postby hoosier_dad » Fri Mar 03, 2017 12:16 pm

pixelstick wrote:These are reasonably priced used cars, nothing exotic like Lexus, BMW, etc.


IMO a reasonably priced car in the situation you describe would not require a loan. This is all going to be up to the judge and the decree isn't as clear cut as you and your wife seem to think it is. An agreement to pay 1/2 of a future vehicle doesn't give one parent the right to unilaterally purchase an expensive car and then demand 1/2 the cost + loan interest, and likewise it doesn't give your wife's ex the right to ignore any discussions on the vehicle purchase.

The judge will most likely pick an amount they consider reasonable. If you paid 2k cash for a beater I could see the judge rubber stamping a 50/50 split. If you bought the princess a 10k vehicle on a vehicle loan then I'm betting you're going to eat the majority of the cost.
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Re: College and current order

Unread postby pixelstick » Fri Mar 03, 2017 12:35 pm

Ok so if nobody has to adhere to the terms of an agreement then why have an agreement in the first place? Guarantee that if I decided to pay less CS each month then the court would be all over me. Likewise I would expect others to adhere to what they agreed to and would expect the court to uphold the agreement also, otherwise why have a court and judge. These aren't clunkers as they needed to be reliable in order for the kids to attend college out of town, but they also aren't expensive and I see no reason to provide the details that some of the people here are requesting. The papers say what they say, period. Above that, I guess everyone has what they consider "reasonable". It looks like her ex is going to continue to not agree to anything in order to push this into court hoping that things work out in his favor with regard to paying for the cars and college. If in fact it does go his way that will cinch my disregard for the legal system as a whole. I've already had my fill of the "legal system" in dealing with both exes.
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Re: College and current order

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Fri Mar 03, 2017 12:42 pm

You're actually pining to be married to your first wife?
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Re: College and current order

Unread postby pixelstick » Fri Mar 03, 2017 12:54 pm

Haha... please don't wish that on me! I understand what you mean. I guess I don't have a whole lot of faith in the legal system at this point. Maybe I should go down that road, buy an expensive house and car and have a few more kids and say I don't have the money to pay what I already agreed to pay. If that were the case then those were my decisions and the court should tell me to suck it up. Now if there were extenuating circumstances then I would think that would be something the court should consider. Seems like the court sways towards the person doing the wrong instead of helping the people that are trying to do things right.
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