If she tries to take you back to court, you'll have to at least show you've taken some steps to try to refinance. That's what it takes to not be in contempt. If it is something you were ordered to do, it might make sense to send a certified letter explaining the steps you've taken and the lack of success and note what your next steps will be, but you don't have to do anything with respect to the emails.
With respect to the graduation party, ignore.
People who live their lives watching only the rearview mirror tend to crash their cars. - Trevor