From my experience Bart (the great one) offers no rainbows and unicorns to guide you to the facts. You either see them or you soon will, or don't.MANY
of us here have thought better to toughen up our skin and soak up all of the strategy given here.
I am glad OP that you have chosen to do so as well. This post might be more for the boot or newbie reading here so as to preempt any "hurt feelings" like I had initially (and occasionally STILL find my emotions trying to wander into that dangerous area before I jerk the bit in my own mouth and take control of my emotions via my spirit).
OP you have some great input on your thread and looks like you are trying to morph from that initial "woe is me" and "I can't stand her doing this and that" (as Minerva mentioned and you acknowledged).
Remember if its outside of your personal hula hoop you can not control it. It took me a long time and a better part of a 6 year bad marriage and divorce process to recognize how I deal with what others are doing, realizing people are going to do what they are going to do; and I cant control it. I hate to beat a dead unicorn here but it is a hard but crucial lesson to learn in all areas of life. See AL ANON and/or Smart Recovery for help and guidance for this.
Good job on soaking up the wisdom and strategy offered here. One day you too can become a highly paid volunteer here; pick up your shovel for loads of gravel; and even offer lavish gifts to folks whom choose to exit via the gift shop
EDIT: I see you have been here for awhile too so you may have already been shoveling so pardon mua'.
Hang in there the finish line is in sight for you and others reading this and other posts. Wait that's almost
rainbow and unicorn....