I'm not sure how to handle with the kids as I want them to understand that lying to me is wrong. However I do not consider it their fault. They are trying to please mom. God damn her for putting them in this position. I wouldn't get upset over trivial lies but taking them out of school for no reason and then impacting their team sports activities is unacceptable to me.
What you are experiencing is the logical result of what happens when you freak out over issues. It shuts down communication and you get lied to.
OK fair enough. How do I handle it with my sons so that they know it's not good to lie while not putting more undue stress on them from her making them lie?
The funny thing is, I really wouldn't have thought it was that big of a deal if they went for a family fun day. They went to drop off a horse, the kids didn't get to enjoy the fair and then we're forced to lie about it.
Do I calmly email her and request that she not ask the kids to lie and that I know she was not truthful the other day when she was late to drop off?