So.. is there a guide to living and life?

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So.. is there a guide to living and life?

Unread postby Paulsj » Mon Feb 06, 2017 12:29 am

I've been married three times now (sigh) for the last 28 or so years. Now I am living alone and I have no idea how to .. live? Is there a system that newly single guys can get that help us to remember all the things we need to do, how to organize, get into a routine.. stuff like that? Everything is so up in the air and chaotic. I have a budget, but I don't stick to it. I don't really have much of a social life. I've been through the dark times, the serious suicidal stuff, the depression, the loneliness, the job loss, the loss of a family member, started drinking, got into the sexual side of things and have emerged from it all still alive. :) I'm no longer in the self destructive behavior but, being a guy with lingering depression issues (seeing a doctor, am on meds), and with ADD... it's hard to force myself to come up with a routine and a schedule and it is soooo overwhelming. I love my kids, but I have to force myself to see them or even to get out sometimes. It's almost lethargic or maybe just laziness.

Anyone else get this way?

Thanks for reading.
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Re: So.. is there a guide to living and life?

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Mon Feb 06, 2017 11:02 am

I type butter on mah phon
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Re: So.. is there a guide to living and life?

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Mon Feb 06, 2017 1:21 pm

You need a hobby.

Going back to school (on campus, there's a difference) worked for me, in more ways than one.

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Re: So.. is there a guide to living and life?

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Mon Feb 06, 2017 1:24 pm

I've been married three times now (sigh) for the last 28 or so years. Now I am living alone and I have no idea how to .. live?


You get to live how you want to. Barring injury to others, there is no right answer.

What do you do for fun?
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Re: So.. is there a guide to living and life?

Unread postby Paulsj » Mon Feb 06, 2017 1:32 pm

I don't really do anything for fun. For a while it was drinking, smoking, and sex. Lots of sex. Lol. I'm 48 now and what I'm trying to do is just get the basics down of living on my own. There has to be a system out there that says: Step one - get a budget, step two- put a laundry day on this schedule. Here's how often you need to buy a work shirt.. etf. Stuff like that. Yeah, I know it sounds basic but for some reason I just can't eeem to break this barrier that's keeping me from going up with a good system or routine and then learning how to stick to it.

Once I get that done, then I get to do the self discovery and see what it is that I like. I've been a family man for so long that I've just recently gotten over the guilt of buying stuff for me. It used to be that by the time I got to the register I'd have talked myself out of it because there the family could use the money more. Even a $5 T-shirt. I couldn't even buy a freaking t-shirt.lol.
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Re: So.. is there a guide to living and life?

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Mon Feb 06, 2017 1:43 pm

You have it backwards, imo, but to each his own.

Get a girlfriend, she'll tell you what you need to do.
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Re: So.. is there a guide to living and life?

Unread postby afc » Mon Feb 06, 2017 1:55 pm

So guilt over buying a shirt for you but not cigs and liquor?

That's not very logical.


Do you have your own place now? Start simple with "what color do I want these walls to be". For chores and stuff, set up days. When I was single, Saturday morning was a cleaning marathon. That left lots of evenings free.

I also liked learning to cook for myself. Got up in the morning an exercised to get the blood flowing. Flipped through the community college catalog and took whatever appealed
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Re: So.. is there a guide to living and life?

Unread postby Trevor » Mon Feb 06, 2017 2:53 pm

Three words for guys who can't get their heads out of their own rectal orifices long enough to cultivate happiness within themselves, by themselves:

Vol
Un
Teer

Go serve in a soup kitchen and come face to face with people who have real problems. Come back and tell us how that exercise has calibrated your sense of spending your time in purposeful ways.
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: So.. is there a guide to living and life?

Unread postby Outis » Mon Feb 06, 2017 3:26 pm

Take the kid(s) to any volunteer events. They need it, too.
What am I to do with all this silence
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Re: So.. is there a guide to living and life?

Unread postby bionic » Thu Feb 16, 2017 10:59 pm

Transitional living house? Halfway house? Don't laugh - they''ll have you cleaning the toilet for months to break your humility.
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