Hey folks, I'm sort of a new member here but I have followed a few member's cases with great interest.
I got divorced 7 years ago, and since we agreed to 50/50 it was the fastest divorce ever - less than 2 months. I am single and my ex remarried about 5 years ago. So everything has been great until recently: our son, who's now 15 was an honor student and almost an A student, but this year his grades went down to Cs and Ds. Me and his mom are involved differently in his academic activities. Let's say that she looks at his ongoing performance from more of an art point of view, while I'm more strict with show me ongoing progress attitude. She's a psychiatrist and I'm a mathematician.
When his grades went down I established a sort of a punishment procedure for him - for every missed homework, I'd turn off the wifi in the house for a day, unless he needs the Internet to do his homework. I stopped doing this after 4-5 months as it's not working. He tells me that his mother doesn't "force" (his words) to do his homework, nor she checks his grades, and if I keep "punishing" him (again, his words), he will refuse to study and not get good grades altogether.
Maybe this is normal for teenagers, but I'm not sure how to handle this as I've never had anyone tell me "if you force me to get good grades, I wont do it at all" Also, it could be that I'm wrong, but I suspect his mother is supporting his be yourself attitude and don't let anybody tell you what to do.
Any help would be appreciated, as I have the feeling it would only get worse.