Post divorce dating

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby dofb » Wed Jul 26, 2017 3:33 pm

afc wrote:The problem that comes up is usually guys post divorce are so starved for someone to touch their naughty bits and not cringe that reason goes out the window. A woman who will have sex with them and doesnt _seem_ crazy? She must be a keeper.

And we see it here all the time. And it's justified by a "don't I deserve to be happy?", "marriage was long over anyway", "she cheated on me" and my favorite when it's a new woman with kids of her own "my kids like/love her/them"

It's just not fair to your own kids. The kids lives have just been upended through no fault of their own. However much you think you didnt deserve the divorce, they deserved it even less. Being a kid is rough enough when you have no control over even little things like transportation, activities, school and throw a divorce into it and it gets worse. That year of no listening to your < edited > is to give them a chance to have ALL of your attention and all of your time. Even when you don't physically have them, getting yourself set up and comfortable as the primary only parent when you do have them is your first job.

The _last_ thing kids need is dad's little brain deciding that he met the love of his life (who btw is moving in with her kids) and taking time and focus off them.

Most of us made it through middle school with Rosy and her sisters, we can make it through a year post divorce.



Agreed on all counts. Kids come first. The advice here has been solid. My ex is already asking if she can introduce the BF/AP to the kids and I was like "really?" They don't deserve their mom's full attention? It's same with the dad, they need your attention.
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby ib536 » Thu Jul 27, 2017 7:53 am

afc wrote:Most of us made it through middle school with Rosy and her sisters...

That's been the last 12 years of my marriage! Guess I've been prepping for the next couple years after divorce already!
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby Trevor » Thu Jul 27, 2017 12:38 pm

Honing your skills, as it were.
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby ragnar » Fri Jul 28, 2017 3:09 pm

need to get laid and people say you shouldn't date yet?

Google this (NSFW):
Fleshlight

best invention ever!
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby bionic » Mon Aug 07, 2017 9:36 pm

Man that first and pretty much the second year as well was a roller coaster. I was crazy attracting nothing but super crazy dates. The reward was great sex and mind numbing stress. Ultimately I settled down and was then finally able to find a good respectful gal. You won't attract the right one until you of right mind and are long down the road of healing.
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby ragnar » Tue Aug 15, 2017 4:15 pm

I think people new to this that you are going to go through a major life change event that is more than simply getting divorced.

You have to deal with:
1) Selling a home
2) Buying/renting a home
3) dealing with changes in insurance policies
4) Settling your divorce related financial problems (401K, cash in joint accounts, etc)
5) The day your decree is final (a girl I know cried for an entire weekend when this happened even though she was emotionally done with her ex).
6) And you need to adjust to getting out of a very long term (in all likelihood) relationship.
7) your kids need you more than your pecker needs a vagina
8) I'm sure people can easily add to the list.
9) I get crap for this but you are going to go through the grieving process. It can take months or years. Your dreams of the future were just destroyed!

Dating is fine but go into as having no interest in finding the next "one". You need to be able to quit dating on the drop of a hat. Approach your life as building a circle of single friends both with and without kids. My two best friends I have gained are women. One is a woman I met through meetup and we never dated. We just enjoy doing stuff together and will never date. The other is a woman I met through meetup and I went on two dates with her. The woman I went on two dates with is 41, has never been married and wants 2 kids. I told her I don't want more kids (it made me think about life which is a good thing) and I told her I don't want to date her and that I don't want to lead her on she needs to find someone that can give her what she wants. I took the high road and she was initially hurt but ultimately was very understanding. And what came of it is amazing because I have found a wonderful new friend!

My two new wingman are women! I've introduced them and they got along aweome which I actually anticipated since I know them both. They don't have a lot in common but are both sociable and wonderful people in general. And both are currently dating so they ended up talking about that when they first met. Should make life 10x easier when doing social stuff. Actually, we are all going (the three of us) to a craft beer lovers event on Thursday night (meetup).

FWIW: I dated for a few months. it's just too much headache. And quite frankly, it costs money to date. $400 a month devoted to dating sucks when money is tight. Save your money till you are finally divorced and you are into a new home if that is the plan. Adjust to your new normal both fiscally and emotionally then date.
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby ragnar » Thu Aug 31, 2017 7:05 pm

Ya, I'll post this here.

I've been separated about 15 months. About a month away from signing paper work. So two months till the final decree.

I'm sick of being alone. I'm going on a date this Sunday!

I'll reassess after the date if I am truly ready for "dating". Sorry but I have every right to be happy during "me time". I've compartmentalized my life into divorce/kids/work/life and when it comes to life I feel free to do what I want. And the divorce part is almost over.
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby Minerva » Fri Sep 01, 2017 7:51 am

ragnar wrote:I'm sick of being alone.

Sorry but I have every right to be happy during "me time".


If you need a woman to be happy you're going to be ripe for the taking....

I suggest you limit yourself to just f*cking.
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Fri Sep 01, 2017 8:13 am

There is no right to happiness that you can collect from another. That path to happiness is paved with misery.
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Fri Sep 01, 2017 9:10 am

The path to happiness is paved with misery.

I like that, so true.
the funniest thing about this particular signature is that by the time you realize it doesn't say anything it's to late to stop reading it
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