Post divorce dating

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby Chasbo » Thu Jan 19, 2017 4:44 pm

I dated a lot immediately after of divorce. I was able to not get attached because I had kids and they were my priority.

Just make sure in your desperation you don't become a target. Or else you'll learn the meaning of the phrase out of the frying pan into the fire.
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby chuck123 » Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:26 pm

That's the honest "real deal" though "Fly guy". It is crazy out there and expensive to date, because guys always pay...Fortunately, divorced ladies let you know if they're DTF. That's great, and I"m into it but still looking for that one lady.
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby Minerva » Fri Feb 24, 2017 3:30 pm

You'll be bad with your crazy radar and prone to getting too attached.

That being said, I f*cked a lot during the divorce and I never paid for any girl. I already did my wallet time. If they couldn't handle it, there were plenty more in line. As you get older being a successful man with a job is insta-poon.
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby chuck123 » Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:36 am

Yeah, it takes a year. Wish I could tell you different, but thats it. The first year is for random sex and learning from bad decisions. About a year after, you figure it out! Godspeed!
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby Mock Turtle » Tue Jun 20, 2017 10:11 pm

Not showering for a year made made it super easy for me.
γού καvνοτ βε ας ςτοοpid ας Ι αm ηνλεςς γού Ηαvε βεεη ας ςmαρτ ας Ι ψας.
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby MrCoolDC » Fri Jun 23, 2017 1:44 pm

Minerva wrote:You'll be bad with your crazy radar and prone to getting too attached.

That being said, I f*cked a lot during the divorce and I never paid for any girl. I already did my wallet time. If they couldn't handle it, there were plenty more in line. As you get older being a successful man with a job is insta-poon.


This is true. Also, men tend to move on to their next partner too fast (many within two years according to statistics). They have not come to grips with why the last marriage failed and how they have to change themselves to make the next relationship better.

It is so tempting if you are in this position (divorced after a long marriage and with custody of kids) to take on another woman to fill the hole in your life. But it's a mistake, and if you are dumb enough to do it at least make sure she has as much to lose as you do.

My advice is date but not seriously. Coffee dates, lunch dates, drinks after work are all cheaper than dinner and a movie. The physical action does help rebuild your confidence, which your NJ spent decades dynamiting. Never bring women around your kids, and never let NJ find out you are dating--it enrages them.
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby Chasbo » Fri Jun 23, 2017 5:50 pm

That's good advice. Every part of it.
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby Havalu7 » Mon Jun 26, 2017 10:19 am

'I have missed the "Chasbo" school of dating posts 8 )

OP it's just good to take little Time to let your wounds heal. Even folks like myself who were "on paper" not divorced but checked out long before should take some time after the divorce becomes final. No hard and set rule but watch that you just don't jump off of the outside ring of the fire pit getting warm and your mojo back to dating to jumping into the hot coals (frying pan others use as analogy.

It's not a hard and fast rule but why would you not want to take a little time to find out more about the yourself that has been being bruised and bashed for so long that you forget that you really are a quality guy and have worth (hence my handle / user name).

Think of the lint roll and once you take the old sheet off. It starts attracting new lint and stuff the second you have a new sheet ready. Be careful what lint you start attracting on your fresh sheet. Don't let anything on that sheet that you don't want stuck again. Make sense? Need more coffee bro hope this helps?
Last edited by Havalu7 on Wed Jul 26, 2017 3:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby dofb » Wed Jul 26, 2017 2:58 pm

I don't have as much experience as the folks here do... but the advice has been solid to date. They said rush your divorce while ex-wife is occupied with the boyfriend/AP, and I did. I filed, pushed, negotiated, used any leverage I have, and got a negotiated settlement 5 days after the cooling off period. That was great advice. I got a heck of a financial deal.

I paid attention, but fully ignored the don't date for a while advice: the results have been mixed. Here's what I have learned:
a) Figure out why you need to date - for me it was the validation, rather than filling a void. I got the you are a good kisser, you give me goosebumps, you are awesome in bed feedback. And, after many years of a sexless, loveless, disrespectful marriage, that's what I needed. It gave me an emotional boost.
b) Be comfortable that most of these relationships will not work - some will last a week, some will last a month, and mostly there will not be second dates. If that' s going to hurt you, just don't date. It's worse to be hurt again, when you should be focusing on yourself and the kids.
c) Budget - it's expensive out there. Even if you make good money, you don't want to lose sight of that.
d) Watch out for predatory types - if you make decent money or if you have a good title, you will attract attention. However, you don't know these people, so watch out.
d) Divorced women have a bunch of baggage that you cannot fix - that's a big one and experience will teach you what to watch out for. If something doesn't feel right, run... as fast as you can.
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Re: Post divorce dating

Unread postby afc » Wed Jul 26, 2017 3:26 pm

The problem that comes up is usually guys post divorce are so starved for someone to touch their naughty bits and not cringe that reason goes out the window. A woman who will have sex with them and doesnt _seem_ crazy? She must be a keeper.

And we see it here all the time. And it's justified by a "don't I deserve to be happy?", "marriage was long over anyway", "she cheated on me" and my favorite when it's a new woman with kids of her own "my kids like/love her/them"

It's just not fair to your own kids. The kids lives have just been upended through no fault of their own. However much you think you didnt deserve the divorce, they deserved it even less. Being a kid is rough enough when you have no control over even little things like transportation, activities, school and throw a divorce into it and it gets worse. That year of no listening to your < edited > is to give them a chance to have ALL of your attention and all of your time. Even when you don't physically have them, getting yourself set up and comfortable as the primary only parent when you do have them is your first job.

The _last_ thing kids need is dad's little brain deciding that he met the love of his life (who btw is moving in with her kids) and taking time and focus off them.

Most of us made it through middle school with Rosy and her sisters, we can make it through a year post divorce.
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