Ex is Moving Back!

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Tue Jan 17, 2017 3:01 pm

OP - Nothing has happened.....YET. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't prepare, because you should.

Rule of thumb = Although divorce may have been finalized, even years ago, you must always maintain a constant state of readiness.

ForumVenter wrote:How would you expect someone to proceed in this case?
Radio silence. Just go about your daily affairs like nothing's going on. Do not tip your hand.

ForumVenter wrote:.....the GAL that was involved is still in play.....
How is this so??

ForumVenter wrote:.....I also want to secure what all I fought for.
When NJ's moment comes, it'll be incumbent upon her to show best interest and, simultaneously, significant change of circumstances. These are very high hurdles to cross.

Nevertheless, you need to be aware that the playing field is already tilted in NJ's favor:

1) She's a SAHM;

2) D6 has half-siblings (at the time of divorce, the court has a policy not to separate siblings; even half-sibs or step-sibs);

3) She pays no child support. IMHO, NJ's income should be imputed at minimum wage. My reasoning here is simple. An order for CS will help level the playing field in your favor.

ForumVenter wrote:I don't want to tick off the Judge.....
No matter what anyone tells you, you must never be afraid of the judge.

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
Tom Kirkpatrick
5K+ Posts
 
Posts: 6955
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2005 11:31 pm
Location: Pacific NW

Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby ForumVenter » Tue Jan 17, 2017 3:16 pm

So per your #3, I should seek CS now in order to be prepared?

It's only been just under 2yrs since the Order was finalized. What would be my reasoning for seeking CS now? Or do I need one?

GAL "still in play" meaning that she still practices. And per our order, we can go to her if mediation is needed and we can't agree on something. Ex has gone to her twice to complain. Both times debunked. So GAL is aware of Ex's intentions. Sure pays to document!!!
OH - Residential parent of D5 after a long distance move by Ex. If your child(ren) aren't a priority, you will have no chance at gaining custody.
ForumVenter
500+ Posts
 
Posts: 753
Joined: Mon May 05, 2014 11:41 am

Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Tue Jan 17, 2017 5:02 pm

ForumVenter wrote:It's only been just under 2yrs since the Order was finalized.
As an example, in OR, CS can be modified every three years. You need to find out if something like this is true for MI.

ForumVenter wrote:What would be my reasoning for seeking CS now?
She's not paying anything. That's more than reason enough.

You: "Look at all the children she can afford, Your Honor."

ForumVenter wrote:So GAL is aware of Ex's intentions.
^^^ Keep this in your hip pocket, for now. Save it for a surprise, if need.

Q: Do you have a copy of the GAL report?? If your case went to trial, do you have transcripts??.....or did you settle out of court??

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
Tom Kirkpatrick
5K+ Posts
 
Posts: 6955
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2005 11:31 pm
Location: Pacific NW

Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby ForumVenter » Wed Jan 18, 2017 9:24 am

OH has the same 3yr type deal. So I just assumed I would need a significant change in circumstances to seek CS.

My reason for waiving CS at trial was so Ex could use her means to travel to OH and visit. Though, your thoughts of "look how many kids she can afford" makes it seem like she has plenty of cash where she could lend some support toward her 1st D's school lunches, activities, clothing, living, etc.

Yes, I have the GAL Report. I don't have the transcripts of the 3 day trial. But the Judges remarks on the Order sum things up pretty well.
OH - Residential parent of D5 after a long distance move by Ex. If your child(ren) aren't a priority, you will have no chance at gaining custody.
ForumVenter
500+ Posts
 
Posts: 753
Joined: Mon May 05, 2014 11:41 am

Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Wed Jan 18, 2017 2:06 pm

ForumVenter wrote:I just assumed I would need a significant change in circumstances to seek CS.
No significant change needed. The 3 yr review is given by statute. Do your research on this. You need to verify. In this game, never "just assume."

ForumVenter wrote:I sent her $200 for gas money that she demanded I send if I wanted to see D6 again....give me something, and you can see D6.
^^^ Compare this.....
.....with this:
ForumVenter wrote:My reason for waiving CS at trial was so Ex could use her means to travel to OH and visit.
You waived CS and yet she demands gas money or else. WTF is up with that??

She's the one that moved, Bro. So she's responsible for transportation both ways.

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
Tom Kirkpatrick
5K+ Posts
 
Posts: 6955
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2005 11:31 pm
Location: Pacific NW

Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby Started Over » Wed Jan 18, 2017 2:56 pm

Take Tom's posts with a grain of salt. He's in the constant war zone. If you're always in the war zone, always on offense, you're not going to find cooperation. Might that mean your ex gets away with some things, like not paying CS even if it means she's eliminated the reason you agreed to the waiver to begin with? Maybe, but if you file for CS, how is she going to take it?

I disagree with Bart that there's absolutely nothing to worry about. But I also think that OG is a little doom and gloom. You can put yourself in a better position to withstand possible legal challenge by her for more time in a few ways. One, just work with her and cooperate. Propose a schedule that works well for both of you and for your daughter. Be cordial and do what's best for your daughter. Hopefully that means your ex won't be inclined to return to court and incur those costs. Option two, don't give ex one extra minute of time, give her only exactly what's in the parenting plan for when she moves back, and hope that when/if she does go back to court, you can show you weren't being obstructive of her time.

In either case, if you go back to court, you argue that legally there is no significant change in circumstances because this was fully contemplated by the text of the parenting plan and you are complying with that plan, so the motion should be dismissed.
People who live their lives watching only the rearview mirror tend to crash their cars. - Trevor
User avatar
Started Over
500+ Posts
 
Posts: 841
Joined: Mon Dec 16, 2013 7:56 pm

Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby Chaos » Wed Jan 18, 2017 11:29 pm

In either case, if you go back to court, you argue that legally there is no significant change in circumstances because this was fully contemplated by the text of the parenting plan and you are complying with that plan, so the motion should be dismissed.


+1. The fact that you already have a parenting time change in your order if she moves back actually works in your favor.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
User avatar
Chaos
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 2098
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 10:21 pm

Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby ForumVenter » Thu Jan 19, 2017 9:26 am

Thanks Fellas!

Definitely don't want to throw fuel in the fire and want to be accommodating with things. And I do fear that going to court for CS or for any reason will poke the bear that is Ex. Though very deceitful, I can assure you that she will take me to court in the future once the 50/50 status quo is set. She wants control and CS. I know her very well and know her moving back up here is more so for financial gain.

Just want to make sure I play the right card here. All I want is to keep peace but also cover myself for future court involvement.
OH - Residential parent of D5 after a long distance move by Ex. If your child(ren) aren't a priority, you will have no chance at gaining custody.
ForumVenter
500+ Posts
 
Posts: 753
Joined: Mon May 05, 2014 11:41 am

Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby steelmark » Thu Jan 19, 2017 9:29 am

ForumVenter wrote: I know her very well and know her moving back up here is more so for financial gain.


Perhaps you're right, but I hope she takes the opportunity to be involved with your daughter.

I'd modify to 50/50 today if my EX moved back to where the boys & I live & attend school, it would be better for my kids.
Prepare and execute to win by a thousand miles, just to be in position to win by an inch.
User avatar
steelmark
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 1637
Joined: Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:01 am

Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby BartSimpson » Thu Jan 19, 2017 9:32 am

I know her very well and know her moving back up here is more so for financial gain.
You really want that to be true, but you don't actually know that.

In fact, you gave other reasons in this thread when you were rational.
Volenti non fit injuria
User avatar
BartSimpson
20K Club
 
Posts: 25316
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:50 pm

PreviousNext

Return to After The Divorce is Final – Moving On

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests

cron