Ex is Moving Back!

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby ForumVenter » Fri Jan 13, 2017 3:52 pm

BartSimpson wrote:No. The mother's arguement would need to be based on a failure to thrive, which won't happen.

Are you satisfied?


Bart! That's the reassurance I was looking for. Thank you!
OH - Residential parent of D5 after a long distance move by Ex. If your child(ren) aren't a priority, you will have no chance at gaining custody.
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Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby BartSimpson » Fri Jan 13, 2017 4:28 pm

Stop reading the mother's Facebook - you are looking at the facts through a keyhole and filling in the rest of the story with your imagination.
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Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby ForumVenter » Fri Jan 13, 2017 5:03 pm

It's not me looking at it. My sister in law had her own issues with ex. So she enjoys stalking her page and "watching the train wreck" unfold. To each their own. Scorned women have different mindsets. I don't pay attention outside of what she relays to me. Nor do I act upon anything or lose sleep over what she says about me on there.
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Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby madalex » Fri Jan 13, 2017 5:19 pm

Tell your sister in law to stop relaying info to you. She's just stirring the pot and isn't helping you at all.
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Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby Outis » Fri Jan 13, 2017 5:53 pm

How quickly we lose focus when wrapped in gossip.
What am I to do with all this silence
Shy away, shy away phantom
Run away terrified child
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Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:56 pm

ForumVenter wrote:…..do you foresee any way that Ex could take a 50/50 schedule and it come back to bite me in the end?….. and/or changing up the Residential Parent……She's a SAHM if that has any bearing.
Yes, yes, and yes.

In Oregon, this is De Facto Custody (6 months minimum). And yes, she's available to parent your daughter when you aren't. And yes,you should be concerned. Because once you give her an inch, the giving will never cease. But in Oregon, a written agreement will negate NJ’s bid for De Facto Custody. You need to do your research on this.

BTW - We frequently advise dads to increase their parenting time any way they can – then file for modification after six months - yet another variant of De Facto Custody.

Ask yourself this question: “Can I trust her??” As you answer, keep one thing in mind, you know her better than anyone.

ForumVenter wrote:So my summer weeks, I'm sure she's going to seek to keep D during the days.
You’ll be OK, so long as this arrangement doesn’t continue into the school year (De Facto Custody)……and, so long as those days don’t become overnights (De Facto Custody).

Rule of thumb = In this game, it’s overnights that count.

ForumVenter wrote:…..what if the relationship between Ex and I goes south. And with a 50/50 plan in place, can Ex seek Residential status due to being able to spend more time with her as a SAHM?
Yes. But that doesn’t mean she’ll get it.

Never lose sight of the fact NJ can file for modification upon her very whim. She doesn't need grounds. She doesn't need good cause. All she needs to do is cry a river in front of the judge. NJ's do this all the time and get away with it. So yes, you should be concerned!!

Bottom line: Stick to your current parenting plan. If you change it, keep it simple and keep it verbal. And above all, keep overnights to a minimum.

Document everything in your well-written journal and parenting time tracker.

Tom
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Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Sat Jan 14, 2017 8:59 am

Keepaway parenting is abhorant.
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Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sat Jan 14, 2017 9:02 am

I feel like I'm trying to talk a man off the ledge, while someone down below is yelling "JUMP, JUMP, JUMP".
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Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby Ohiogal » Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:43 am

ForumVenter wrote:
BartSimpson wrote:No. The mother's arguement would need to be based on a failure to thrive, which won't happen.

Are you satisfied?


Bart! That's the reassurance I was looking for. Thank you!

I love Bart but he is wrong. A shared parenting plan can be terminated under any change in circumstance and the court can then determine who should be the custodian in Ohio. Tread lightly on that because if you attempt to terminate the shared parenting plan, the court could award MOM custody and make you the non-custodial.
I am licensed only in Ohio. NOTHING stated by me is legal advice OR forms an attorney/client relationship or is to be taken as me advising you regarding YOUR personal LEGAL circumstances.
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Re: Ex is Moving Back!

Unread postby ForumVenter » Tue Jan 17, 2017 11:47 am

OG, I was hoping you would weigh in on this! I was finding it difficult to believe Barts "no big deal" attitude. And Tom is at the other extreme, but definitely closer to my expectations. Based on all the differing answers, I was planning a consultation with a local attorney at some point (my lawyer has since retired). But the GAL that was involved is still in play and I could contact her I'm sure.

How would you expect someone to proceed in this case? Should I reach out to Ex and discuss a 50/50 plan with my suggestions. Play nice and follow a verbal (and OFW documented) agreement. And then not make a move until she files something (she will. her move isn't solely about D)? Or should I file something as her move draws closer?

I don't want to tick off the Judge/court with things. But I also want to secure what all I fought for. And I would assume the time to do so is sooner, rather than after a 50/50 plan has been in place for some time.
OH - Residential parent of D5 after a long distance move by Ex. If your child(ren) aren't a priority, you will have no chance at gaining custody.
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