Dealing with BPD Targets on these Threads

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Dealing with BPD Targets on these Threads

Unread postby hoot74 » Sun Jan 08, 2017 9:50 am

I ask the senior members to watch these two videos as a sort of primer to prepare themselves for the men who come to these threads seeking advice for dealing with a co-parent who has BPD (or perhaps NPD):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brNuwQNN3q4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezBJ3954mKw

Note that BPD is one of the most counter intuitive things in human psychology. One of the only other things more counter intuitive in human psychology is parental alienation. Not coincidentally, they often go hand-in-hand.

Remember that if you are giving advice based on the standards that serve most divorce cases (~95%), that advice will likely be "exactly wrong" in nearly 100% of cases involving BPD.

If someone comes on our threads and claims that they are a BPD target, I think that we should recognize that and alter our protocol to take account of information like the kind in the videos above. It is literally a matter of life or death (ask Travis Alexander or the many fathers whose children have been murdered during divorce by a BPD mother).
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Re: Dealing with BPD Targets on these Threads

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sun Jan 08, 2017 9:58 am

Hoot - Are you saying the advice I provide now to the man in the potential BPD situation is inadequate?

Since I have written it thousands of times, do you recall what it is?
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Re: Dealing with BPD Targets on these Threads

Unread postby hoot74 » Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:09 am

BartSimpson wrote:Hoot - Are you saying the advice I provide now to the man in the potential BPD situation is inadequate?

Since I have written it thousands of times, do you recall what it is?

Bart, I had thought that your advice has been squarely in the realm of being informed about BPD.

You advise to maintain boundaries (disconnect, remove third party connections, etc.) and that the ex's reactions in these cases are fueled by profound fear of abandonment.

I cannot think of another veteran member on these threads who is more informed about BPD, and I have agreed with the bulk of your advice.
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Re: Dealing with BPD Targets on these Threads

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:11 am

So, do you use social media?
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Re: Dealing with BPD Targets on these Threads

Unread postby hoot74 » Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:29 am

BartSimpson wrote:So, do you use social media?

"remove third party connections....."

(such as those mediated by social media)


I have several professional accounts curated by others.

I have FB now (that I had turned off during the divorce and immediately afterward).
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Re: Dealing with BPD Targets on these Threads

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:32 am

Two degrees of separation is different from participating in Social Media.

Direct question: Do you have a Facebook account?
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Re: Dealing with BPD Targets on these Threads

Unread postby hoot74 » Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:37 am

BartSimpson wrote:Two degrees of separation is different from participating in Social Media.

Direct question: Do you have a Facebook account?

I have FB now (that I had turned off during the divorce and immediately afterward).
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Re: Dealing with BPD Targets on these Threads

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:43 am

Therein my dilemma. I can't even get you to take the most basic steps toward dealing with this issue. It's so simple, yet so hard.
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Re: Dealing with BPD Targets on these Threads

Unread postby hoot74 » Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:50 am

BartSimpson wrote:Therein my dilemma. I can't even get you to take the most basic steps toward dealing with this issue. It's so simple, yet so hard.

I took it as good advice during the divorce and some time thereafter but hoped to revert back to the mean. Now, I am back in the muck and have no problem deactivating the account.
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Re: Dealing with BPD Targets on these Threads

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sun Jan 08, 2017 11:06 am

Social media is fungus, BPD is the cellulose. Any wonder why Social Media has been so successful and popular with the ladies, while the numbers of Cluster B disorders have increased?

Some fungi are good, yeast makes bread. Others fungi ferment, and many more are quietly toxic to our lives, such as the black mold that feeds on cellulose.

You can prevent the fungus; but if you allow it, you can't control the available food sources.
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