Update 2

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: Update 2

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Sat Jan 07, 2017 1:30 pm

hoot74 wrote:This is Round 4 for me in three years.
I get that, Bro. Divorce may have been finalized, but the war is far from over.

hoot74 wrote:Assuming that this continues until D6 is 21, that means no girlfriend for 18 straight years, right?
Don't you think there might be, just maybe, some correlating factor associated with having a GF and NJ's behavior??

The rule here is to know thine enemy.

Step out of your comfort zone and think thusly: "If I do this, what might she do??"

hoot74 wrote:I asked her for reasons why she does not want to live with me. Her reasons include mom making breakfast, making lunches, picking her up from school so that she doesn't have to take the 5 mile bus ride, going to Costco every day for fresh food, not enforcing a bed time, etc. Basically, mom lives for the children.
NJ is not a parent. She's their friend. But what's worse is that NJ refuses to let them become self-sufficient.

Whatever the case, it's NJ's mission in life to make you spend your money any way she can. And if you let her, sooner or later, she'll bleed you into submission.

Tom
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby Outis » Sat Jan 07, 2017 1:36 pm

It's more about the views of D14. As previously pointed out, 3 hours a day is not full time. The hours she works are her choice, just as you work a day job instead of graveyards.

Costco keeps things fresh using what? My refrigerator does the same thing and saves the hassle of a daily trip.

She has her head buries in her own < hindquarters >, and you aren't doing anything about that.
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:26 pm

hoot74 wrote:I think that there is a correlation between NJ's behavior and BPD.
You know her better than anyone, Bro. If she's truly bi-polar, you can expect the drama to continue unabated, certainly for the foreseeable future.

Q: Has she been diagnosed??

Tom
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby Chasbo » Sun Jan 08, 2017 8:32 am

My ex is a nut. I purposely didn't have an open girlfriend for 5 years and am just now slowly introducing one.

If I shacked up with the kids nanny, the ex would have gone ballistic. You have to cater to your audience or you will get a reaction.

Hoot, you are one of the smartest guys here, surely you see that.
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Sun Jan 08, 2017 8:39 am

Hoot is a smart guy, he knew mommy would focus on the nanny if he started screwing her.

Did it anyway.

Rinse/repeat.

They're a good match, in marriage and divorce.
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby Chasbo » Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:23 am

To be honest, I don't know that much about bpd.

Funnily enough, I have a masters in psychology so I should know more. My real feeling is a lot of this psycho babble is a total con, mostly instituted to embezzle insurance companies


While I acknowledge that people have disregulation, sometimes extremely severe, I really think the excessive use here of terms like bpd is absolutely ridiculous. Personally I would say your ex sounds like a typical NYC woman who I have been on intimate terms quite a few times. They are insecure nuts and they really don't like their ex husbands screwing the help as it, they believe, affects their market value or something.

Just because she's banging the gardener doesn't mean you can as well.

I'm not saying your ex isn't unreasonable ...... many women in this town are. What I am saying is that you created the perfect circumstances to exacerbate the situation. Screwing the nanny is strictly verboten for a man that wants post marital peace. Just is.(speaking as a man that would like to screw the nanny)
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby Chasbo » Sun Jan 08, 2017 12:06 pm

hoot74 wrote:I am not married, and the nanny was NOT the nanny when I was married. She stopped being the nanny at the end of summer.

:lol: I don't think I'm getting through.

This is female psychology 101. Bang the nanny or the former nanny at your peril. It's about children, trust, defecating where you sleep, crossing boundaries....

My uncle who went to MIT and smoked cigarettes down to the butts and talked to himself and swept floors for a living was truly inexorably mentally ill. Your ex may just be a unstable self entitled c*nt. Big difference in my opinion. And btw you need strong boundaries no matter who you are dealing with.

We've categorized every single permutation of immature, ridiculous human activity. And like I said before, the reason is insurance and government money. IQ doesn't measure intelligence objectively and the DSMV doesn't measure mental illness objectively.

BTW most guys ex's here are bpd. While all the guys who post are normal. That's the statistical anomaly we live with here. :lol:
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby dadforever » Mon Jan 09, 2017 9:37 am

Anyone that denies the existence of BPD hasn't gone through life and divorce with someone w BPD.

People w BPD are sicker than the logical brain would comprehend. Said another way: you have to live through it to understand it. Unfortunately sick doesn't mean stupid, and these people know full well that there is an army of lawyers, social workers, judges, et al that will line up to fight their battles on their behalf.

My goal in my case is to have my ex only have supervised visits- period.

I think you should have the same goal, OP.
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby steelmark » Mon Jan 09, 2017 11:01 am

We get that no matter what you do, you'll be wrong, but can you seriously dismiss that nailing the kids nanny doesn't add some icing to this cake of crazy?

https://youtu.be/-RvNS7JfcMM
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby Outis » Mon Jan 09, 2017 11:10 am

hoot74 wrote:
dadforever wrote:I think you should have the same goal, OP.

Yes.

Despite all your time here, it is troubling that you would so readily agree to disregard the role you played and jump on supervised time for the ex.
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