Update 2

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: Update 2

Unread postby dadforever » Tue Jan 10, 2017 9:58 am

Fatheroffour wrote:
If the child doesn't want to see one parent for one reason or another, it's a sure sign that child is being alienated.


Too broad of a brush.
Demonstrably untrue.



I'm sorry, I worded that incorrectly. If the child demonstrates a sustained hatred towards and unwillingness to have a relationship with one parent, it's a sure sign that child is being alienated.

Dr. Childress says that this often manifests itself with a child hating a parent because 'they are bad', hating a parent for 'who they are', but being unable to logically explain this hatred.
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:03 am

In that case, Dr C oversteps.

Again, too broad of a brush and one I can relate to from personal experience.


We have dads here regularly that struggle with their teen not wanting to adhere to the court schedule, dont want to see the other parent, for a variety of reasons. Surely we cannot conclude they are all alienators and should have their custody stripped.
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:06 am

The biggest fault I see with the bruised face analogy is that there is little nuance in multiple bruises on a childs face. However, a childs feelings about a parent can be influenced by a plethora of issues. From the parents own actions to something as simple as a well timed raised eyebrow , conscious or not.
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby hoot74 » Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:11 am

Fatheroffour wrote:The biggest fault I see with the bruised face analogy is that there is little nuance in multiple bruises on a childs face. However, a childs feelings about a parent can be influenced by a plethora of issues. From the parents own actions to something as simple as a well timed raised eyebrow , conscious or not.

Yep. The bruised face analogy is black and white (or black and blue?).

I have been on the fence in my own case for over three years. Hearing my ex state in the court house that D14 will now never see me again just about clinched it.
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:27 am

I'm not addressing the specifics of your case, just the broad assertions being made.
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby a dad » Tue Jan 10, 2017 3:56 pm

I started that list for you to add to, not to mark 'done' and move on. Add something.

Perhaps moving on so quickly with the live-in nanny left you no time for self-reflection, or perhaps you can't.

It's pointing the finger without recognizing how your behavior contributes.
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby hoot74 » Tue Jan 10, 2017 4:13 pm

Added a few....

1. No more relationships with childcare providers.
2. Get off social media and stay off this time.
3. Get the children out of the middle of your issues regardless of who put them there.
4. No more relationships/kids with BPD individuals. Learn the traits and stay away.
5. No more kids/Get a vasectomy.
6. Stay fit.
7. Spend one-on-one time with kids (especially older two)
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby Havalu7 » Wed Jan 11, 2017 7:25 pm

Me thinks your list needs to be reorganized if it's listed in order of importance or other?

#5 might need to be a little higher. Shooting blanks is a wonderful thing IMHO :oops:
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Re: Update 2

Unread postby a dad » Thu Jan 12, 2017 2:22 am

Two additions? That's it? I came up with five and it's your list.
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