Ex is living it up

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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby lionel2013 » Wed Dec 28, 2016 2:39 pm

OP, if it makes you feel any better [probably won't, but just in case], in many/most states a marriage of 20 or more years results in automatic lifetime alimony, unless mutually-agreed upon otherwise. So at least you shouldn't beat yourself up for this happening in CO, because in IL for instance it wouldn't have been any better.

One thing I don't understand [because it doesn't apply to me] which you might want to inform yourself about, is what happens when you retire? Can you retire at any age, or at the nominal 67? And when you retire, do you still have to pay her anything?

In my case that's not an issue because our retirement savings account have been divided when our divorce was final. I took a severe beating (lost more than 50% even though I contributed something like 90%), but at least I am done with it, whatever I will have saved after that is 100% mine.

What is your situation, do you know?
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby irving86 » Wed Dec 28, 2016 3:30 pm

lionel2013 wrote:OP, if it makes you feel any better [probably won't, but just in case], in many/most states a marriage of 20 or more years results in automatic lifetime alimony, unless mutually-agreed upon otherwise. So at least you shouldn't beat yourself up for this happening in CO, because in IL for instance it wouldn't have been any better.

One thing I don't understand [because it doesn't apply to me] which you might want to inform yourself about, is what happens when you retire? Can you retire at any age, or at the nominal 67? And when you retire, do you still have to pay her anything?

In my case that's not an issue because our retirement savings account have been divided when our divorce was final. I took a severe beating (lost more than 50% even though I contributed something like 90%), but at least I am done with it, whatever I will have saved after that is 100% mine.

What is your situation, do you know?


Worst case scenario is that I can go back to court at the age of retirement to have maintenance terminated. Per CRS 14-10-122:
(b) A payor spouse whose income is reduced or terminated due to his or her retirement after reaching full retirement age is entitled to a rebuttable presumption that the retirement is in good faith.
(c) For purposes of this subsection (2), “full retirement age” means the payor's usual or ordinary retirement age when he or she would be eligible for full United States social security benefits, regardless of whether he or she is ineligible for social security benefits for some reason other than attaining full retirement age.  “Full retirement age” shall not mean “early retirement age” if early retirement is available to the payor spouse, nor shall it mean “maximum benefit retirement age” if additional benefits are available as a result of delayed retirement.

Just another 23 years to go!!
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby lionel2013 » Wed Dec 28, 2016 5:07 pm

Worst case scenario is that I can go back to court at the age of retirement to have maintenance terminated. Per CRS 14-10-122:
(b) A payor spouse whose income is reduced or terminated due to his or her retirement after reaching full retirement age is entitled to a rebuttable presumption that the retirement is in good faith.
(c) For purposes of this subsection (2), “full retirement age” means the payor's usual or ordinary retirement age when he or she would be eligible for full United States social security benefits, regardless of whether he or she is ineligible for social security benefits for some reason other than attaining full retirement age.  “Full retirement age” shall not mean “early retirement age” if early retirement is available to the payor spouse, nor shall it mean “maximum benefit retirement age” if additional benefits are available as a result of delayed retirement.

Just another 23 years to go!!


OMG ... that's a very long time. But being that you're only 44 now, even if your X doesn't re-marry you can hope you will get re-married or in a LTR after a couple of years, maybe, and hopefully with a woman who is earning a meaningful income and has some sort of financial stability [otherwise you'd be crazy to do it].

Cases like yours [and there are many out there] make me feel, over and over again, that before anyone signs on to get married, blissfully ignorant like I and many others were, there should be mandatory reading and exam on the consequences of divorce. I have no doubt that if that were to happen, it still would not change the minds of many/most out there, but even a few % would be some improvement. I for one know I didn't know diddly when I got married. Zero. Nada. If I had known I think I still would have married her, but would have done a few things differently during my marriage.
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby ragnar » Tue Jan 03, 2017 11:23 am

How come you are paying that much each month for support on your income? That is insane.
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby lionel2013 » Tue Jan 03, 2017 1:27 pm

ragnar wrote:How come you are paying that much each month for support on your income? That is insane.


Ragnar, whom are you asking this question, me or the OP?
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby ragnar » Tue Jan 03, 2017 3:15 pm

lionel2013 wrote:
ragnar wrote:How come you are paying that much each month for support on your income? That is insane.


Ragnar, whom are you asking this question, me or the OP?


I thought it was the OP. $150K salary and paying $4500/month to Ex. That is insane.
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby Mock Turtle » Wed Jan 04, 2017 2:50 am

A reasonable question but I doubt insanity played a role. Perhaps OP would post the answer in the "If I could do it over again" thread.
γού καvνοτ βε ας ςτοοpid ας Ι αm ηνλεςς γού Ηαvε βεεη ας ςmαρτ ας Ι ψας.
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby lionel2013 » Wed Jan 04, 2017 11:42 am

ragnar wrote:
lionel2013 wrote:
ragnar wrote:How come you are paying that much each month for support on your income? That is insane.


Ragnar, whom are you asking this question, me or the OP?


I thought it was the OP. $150K salary and paying $4500/month to Ex. That is insane.


Unfortunately that is not insane for the "family court" system -- that also happens to be what he would be paying here in IL --- that, or more. They look at it as a percentage of his gross, not as the absolute amount.
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby Phoenix853 » Wed Jan 04, 2017 12:03 pm

BooM Lionel
Go on drop the mic, exit stage left..
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby lionel2013 » Mon Jan 09, 2017 3:12 pm

Phoenix853 wrote:BooM Lionel
Go on drop the mic, exit stage left..


Sorry, could you please elaborate?

Did I say something wrong and if so, what?
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