Ex is living it up

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Ex is living it up

Unread postby irving86 » Wed Dec 28, 2016 8:07 am

I was divorced in 2015. The ex got most of the house and most of the household goods. Her parents bought her a $450k house back in February of 2016 and I'm pretty certain she lives rent-free (no way she could afford to pay a mortgage on two $400k+ homes). Her boyfriend moved in shortly after that. She finally sold the marital house and netted about $220k. She has no problem going on a vacation every couple of months (based on her FB posts). The latest laugh is that she bought a brand new Dodge Challenger Hellcat (about a $70-$75k car). She does not work, but managed to clear about $300,000 this year with what I have to pay ($48k + child support) and her disability income. I make about $150k before alimony.

Our agreement states that alimony is modifiable and can be terminated if a judge decides so. I bust my butt working, had to move to another state to be able to afford a house, and drive a nine year old car just to live month by month.

Even though the divorce is not quite two years old, is it too soon to ask a judge to terminate or modify maintenance? She has certainly been able to move on and live the high life with no problem flaunting it.
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby BartSimpson » Wed Dec 28, 2016 8:11 am

Did you sign a Marriage Settlement Agreement?
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby irving86 » Wed Dec 28, 2016 8:16 am

BartSimpson wrote:Did you sign a Marriage Settlement Agreement?


Yes and it states that maintenance is modifiable.
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby BartSimpson » Wed Dec 28, 2016 8:54 am

You are in Colorado, as I recall.

Time to drag out that ol' MSA and let's see what it says exactly about modification. If you could, please type the clause in here - without any personal identifying information - and let's see if we can get you out of this mess.

I will tell you this, man to man, get the fux off Facebook, sir. That is make-believe, it's a role playing game in which women excel. The truth is not on Facebook. We tell this to every man who comes here in the early stages of divorce, and for at least a year after the divorce is final, because this looking through the keyhole of the mother's life is not doing you any good.


Of course, I'm sure the very thought of deleting your Facebook account is paralyzingly and you will explain to me why you can't do it - none the less, you need to, sir.
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby Poor4Four » Wed Dec 28, 2016 9:00 am

Is there a cohabitation clause? What specifically does the language say and in what state are you in?

I lost my job and had strong caselwaw that lined up nicely with my circumstances (my X is now wealthier than me, makes over $100k year working part time) and had the necessary language in my decree, and the Judge still has me paying. Previously, I had agreed to pay $5k a month; the Judge decided that amount was 11% of my gross income at the time so now I am obligated to pay her 11% no matter My income, even when I make less than her. I am appealing.

I share this because in this day and age, some Judges want so much to honor the original contract even when it makes no sense.

In your case, cohabitation may be what sinks her ship, but unless it is written in your agreement, a Judge will likely not care if she is living with three sugar daddies. All she has to do is go to Court, shrug her shoulders and testify that she has no income from which to support herself.
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby irving86 » Wed Dec 28, 2016 9:16 am

BartSimpson wrote:You are in Colorado, as I recall.

Time to drag out that ol' MSA and let's see what it says exactly about modification. If you could, please type the clause in here - without any personal identifying information - and let's see if we can get you out of this mess.

I will tell you this, man to man, get the fux off Facebook, sir. That is make-believe, it's a role playing game in which women excel. The truth is not on Facebook. We tell this to every man who comes here in the early stages of divorce, and for at least a year after the divorce is final, because this looking through the keyhole of the mother's life is not doing you any good.


Of course, I'm sure the very thought of deleting your Facebook account is paralyzingly and you will explain to me why you can't do it - none the less, you need to, sir.


Understood about Facebook. I use an alternate account to monitor her activities as she posts everything to the "public". This is how I found out about her new house as well as other interesting tidbits. It is anonymous and makes it easy to take screenshots.

Anyways, here is the text from the separation agreement:
"Husband hereby waives any claim he has or may have not or in the future to receive spousal maintenance from Wife. Husband understands this waiver of maintenance is permanent, irrevocable and not subject to modification. Husband further understands any claim for maintenance, once waived, may not be revised or reinstated at any later time for any reason whatsoever. Husband further understands that neither the Court in this action nor any other Court shall have jurisdiction in the future to enter orders concerning of spousal maintenance to him by Wife.

Wife shall receive spousal maintenance in the mount of $4,000 per month beginning August 1, 2015 and ending August of 2020. Wife shall then receive spousal maintenance in the amount of $3,750 per month beginning September 1, 2020 and ending August 31, 2025. Thereafter, Wife shall receive spousal maintenance in the amount of $3,200 per month beginning September 1, 2025. Spousal maintenance shall be modifiable and shall terminate upon either parties' death or Petitioner's/Wife's remarriage pursuant to CRS 14-10-122."

After reading CRS 14-10-122 (http://codes.findlaw.com/co/title-14-do ... 0-122.html), it appears that the court can terminate maintenance.
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby irving86 » Wed Dec 28, 2016 9:22 am

Poor4Four wrote:Is there a cohabitation clause? What specifically does the language say and in what state are you in?

I lost my job and had strong caselwaw that lined up nicely with my circumstances (my X is now wealthier than me, makes over $100k year working part time) and had the necessary language in my decree, and the Judge still has me paying. Previously, I had agreed to pay $5k a month; the Judge decided that amount was 11% of my gross income at the time so now I am obligated to pay her 11% no matter My income, even when I make less than her. I am appealing.

I share this because in this day and age, some Judges want so much to honor the original contract even when it makes no sense.

In your case, cohabitation may be what sinks her ship, but unless it is written in your agreement, a Judge will likely not care if she is living with three sugar daddies. All she has to do is go to Court, shrug her shoulders and testify that she has no income from which to support herself.


Unfortunately, there is nothing about co-habitation in there. However, Colorado is a common law marriage state. I know it can be hard to prove. It would be nice to see a copy of her 1095 tax form to see if she or her live-in boyfriend is paying her healthcare.

I doubt her boyfriend paid for the car or her parents. The registration should show who owns it.
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby BartSimpson » Wed Dec 28, 2016 9:22 am

I can't let this pass - why are you monitoring her activities, sir?
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Wed Dec 28, 2016 9:23 am

Spousal maintenance shall be modifiable and shall terminate upon either parties' death or Petitioner's/Wife's remarriage pursuant to CRS 14-10-122."


Problematic.
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Re: Ex is living it up

Unread postby irving86 » Wed Dec 28, 2016 9:24 am

BartSimpson wrote:I can't let this pass - why are you monitoring her activities, sir?


She is the one who told me about getting a new car. She makes it easy at times. :) Plus, if she gets married or anything else, I need to know. It sucks living on 1/3 of your paycheck.

We do have a son which I still pay child support, health insurance, etc. for. She tried to move without notifying me. This is why I need to monitor her.
Last edited by irving86 on Wed Dec 28, 2016 10:40 am, edited 2 times in total.
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