Order of Protection post divorce

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby afc » Wed Feb 01, 2017 11:17 am

Havalu7 wrote:Again I did not go back and study your exact scenario but have you come this far to settle? And you paid for that advice??



With this particular poster, you really should do that.
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Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby visionelite » Wed Feb 01, 2017 11:31 am

Afc- what do you propose is my next course of action?
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Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby Chaos » Wed Feb 01, 2017 12:02 pm

More therapy. More parenting classes. Try to get a step up plan in your orders. You deserved this, but you can ask for the chance to prove you can deserve better.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby Havalu7 » Wed Feb 01, 2017 11:18 pm

afc you were right I should have done so.

OP I like Chaos' encouraging suggestions for you.

Take the next right step.
”No is a complete sentence” Unknown
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Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby visionelite » Thu Feb 02, 2017 6:53 am

The next step appears to either settle or litigate. The evaluator is to explain his assessment to me next week.
In the meantime I do counseling with my oldest daughter to seek her willing return.

All of this for having words with a woman who wanted nothing but to take my children away. Losing my children to her influence for the next several years because I was frustrated and angry?

I've witnessed my own father, grandfather, etc. rip a stranger who wronged them, get into it with the women in their lives, and yes even yell at their kids. They were successful businessmen and professionals. Today they'd be in jail for this behavior.
I get it anger needs to be controlled with appropriate outlets, but this "punishment" goes well beyond. This is a 'men's' divorce forum. I'm guess I'm learning as men we have to learn to play this game differently or else be that horrible example.
Costly. And sad.
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Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Thu Feb 02, 2017 6:57 am

No, not sad. Progress.

My great great grandfather owned slaves.

The world has changed, for the better.
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Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby Chaos » Thu Feb 02, 2017 11:16 am

You were frustrated and angry because she went to a child's activity. In no way is that acceptable or normal. You're still deflecting responsibility for your actions.

In case you were wondering what happened with your psych eval, that's it.
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Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby Started Over » Thu Feb 02, 2017 3:44 pm

+1 to Chaos.
People who live their lives watching only the rearview mirror tend to crash their cars. - Trevor
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Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby Trevor » Thu Feb 02, 2017 9:05 pm

What did you learn from your reading about emotional intelligence from back in October?
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby visionelite » Mon Feb 06, 2017 3:49 pm

Trevor I learned from looking over the EI/EQ resources that I am certainly lacking in it. I took the online assessments and was even given similar assessments in the psy eval. Interestingly, this was not an issue that came up in the debrief but I know from my own history blaming her or anyone else for my inability to recognize my own role in the situation is way off. I have as much if not more responsibility for what has occurred. I have no interest in retribution, just moving forward to gain the trust of my children back.

In that vein I will be meeting with the evaluator to hopefully prepare a stepped plan of therapy to reintroduce children back in to my custodial care. till then im a visiting parent, hard to take, but hopefully it can be changed.

Again any other advice from this group as it looks she is not willing to settle for even that. She is sticking to revision of custody to full to her with little < parenting time > and max cs. Do not necessarily want to take this to trial. But certainly cannot settle for that...
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