Order of Protection post divorce

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Thu Nov 10, 2016 11:13 am

Follow the process, don't violate the order, dig yourself out of the hole and don't do it again.
User avatar
Fatheroffour
Moderator
 
Posts: 35893
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:37 am
Location: Top of the world

Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby visionelite » Wed Dec 07, 2016 2:35 pm

Continuing to update and hoping there is collective wisdom on next steps and expected outcomes.

Court ordered phone calls for d2 which went well for first few occasions. Then out of blue, stopped all together stating she didnt want to talk to me. Attorney wrote up a motion to resume calls, among other things. Hearing resulted in judge not understanding why the afcs rec no contact and the children dont want contact. He said to get him a schedule for supervised < parenting time > with a list of potential supervisors. Done.

While this goes through the necessary steps, he also ordered a psych eval for everyone. Scheduled. What can I expect for this? Preparation??? I am told it is going to be a major factor in the decision since afcs are not on side.

As of now, i have had almost no contact with children for over 3 mo. There original accusations were never even discussed. The new afcs do not want contact and the children do not want contact. Its all coming very clear this was a premeditated setup where she knew how to push my buttons to get foot in the fam court door. Now i might lose time with my children over some potential bad words to her and then she will go for the full amount of child support she can get.

Not sure how this can happen with very little recourse or repercussions for false accusations. I guess it doesnt really matter...
visionelite
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 42
Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2014 2:42 pm

Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby Chaos » Wed Dec 07, 2016 3:42 pm

Can't really prepare for a psych evaluation. Just be honest. Don't bash the mom. Own your mistakes and have a plan for not making them again. Humility goes a long way.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
User avatar
Chaos
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 2202
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 10:21 pm

Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby visionelite » Wed Dec 14, 2016 12:11 pm

I was awarded supervised < parenting time >. Have not seen children for over two months. I understand based on their afcs they are very upset with me.
Being there will be a supervisor, how do I heal with them? What do I say? I'm told I cannot influence in any way such as even saying I miss them and wish they were back home.
Any dads who have been in this situation advice apreciated.
Thanks
visionelite
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 42
Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2014 2:42 pm

Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby Started Over » Wed Dec 14, 2016 12:35 pm

Instead of saying "I miss you" or "I wish you could come home" say "It's so good to see you!" and "I am looking forward to the next time I see you!" Keep it positive.

Bring a board game or something to do with them.

I think you can say you're sorry for your part in all of this and will work on being a better person because they deserve that.
People who live their lives watching only the rearview mirror tend to crash their cars. - Trevor
User avatar
Started Over
500+ Posts
 
Posts: 856
Joined: Mon Dec 16, 2013 7:56 pm

Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby visionelite » Wed Dec 14, 2016 3:58 pm

great thanks SO.
Anyone else?
visionelite
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 42
Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2014 2:42 pm

Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby Started Over » Wed Dec 14, 2016 4:22 pm

I need to add something here...

You stated that your ex showed up at your kids' practice; that you saw her there and didn't confront her there; that you calmly packed up your kids in the car and then you left the car to make a phone call to your ex; and that in that phone call you insulted your ex and told her to go < edited > herself.

You have also told us that you regularly battle her on medical treatment for the kids, regularly send her emails criticizing the way she parents, you have told us that you email her regularly telling her she's in violation of the parenting plan and use the parenting plan as a method of controlling her behavior.

Then, you say that she set you up.

Man up. Take responsibility. You say you take responsibility and then a few posts later imply that it's all unfair and you're a victim of a biased system. Maybe, but just from the little you tell us, when you're trying to present yourself in the best light possible, you've shown yourself to be a complete, controlling, < hindquarters >.

Stop referring to your ex as "the NJ". Refer to her as your children's mother. Refer to her as your ex. But stop referring to her as NJ. Change your outlook and your attitude. You've lost the right to blame their mother for turning your children against you. You've lost the right to claim you're a victim. You need to show up hat in hand and apologetic. Did I interpret your post correctly that even the school thinks you're bossy and controlling? You've got to fix things, man, and all that starts and ends with you.
People who live their lives watching only the rearview mirror tend to crash their cars. - Trevor
User avatar
Started Over
500+ Posts
 
Posts: 856
Joined: Mon Dec 16, 2013 7:56 pm

Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby visionelite » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:03 am

Totally agree with you SO. I was overwhelmed parenting with an old style and going at it alone.
Been taking a bunch of classes on how to single parent effectively, therapy, and advice from good friends. I do see my part in this.
But immediate goal is to get them back, otherwise she will take away my 50/50 time and go for the max CS she can get. That wont be helpful to anyone but her.
visionelite
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 42
Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2014 2:42 pm

Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby visionelite » Wed Feb 01, 2017 5:15 am

My forensic eval came back against me. Although I was not able receive a copy, in essence the report rec full custody to mother with increased supervised < parenting time > and family therapy.

I'm told by my attorney to settle, rather than litigate where I'm told I will lose.

For those of you who have navigated this situation is there anything I can do, or accept I went from 50/50 to now no legal custody and supervised < parenting time >? I understand yelling at ex, children, around children is construed as abuse. It's hard to accept because it seems innocuous to what I previously considered 'abuse'. At this point I don't know what I know...

Sadly one of my children wants to come back but the other doesn't. She's been with mother for 5 mo and seen me less than two hours.

A support petition was immediately filed. It looks all but a given I will be paying the max which I will be unable to afford.

Trying to make sense of this but, up seems down and down up. Is there any point in fighting or let the system do what it's going to do?
visionelite
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 42
Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2014 2:42 pm

Re: Order of Protection post divorce

Unread postby Havalu7 » Wed Feb 01, 2017 11:08 am

Op on phone so didn't go back over your whole thread but let me quote Dr Simpson a little differently "See ya in court with my new attorney!"

Op read some of the threads here where guys did not give in and waited till the courthouse steps even against their attorneys recommendation (usually their Atty's last recommmedttion taken by members here who have studied the strategies given).

Again I did not go back and study your exact scenario but have you come this far to settle? And you paid for that advice?

I am sympathetic with that feeling but I was able to manage my counsel with the boards strategy going in. Not sure if you did that with your counsel or she? just wants out based on funding (yours) or some
other reason unbenownst to you besides.

Tell us why you shouldn't take this to the courthouse steps OP based on what you have learned here regardless of your counsel's recommendation?
”No is a complete sentence” Unknown
User avatar
Havalu7
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 1312
Joined: Wed Jan 27, 2016 10:43 am

PreviousNext

Return to After The Divorce is Final – Moving On

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 5 guests