How much did it cost you?!

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: How much did it cost you?!

Unread postby Campfire » Mon Dec 12, 2016 12:00 am

CrashDavis wrote:Hi I am new here but thought this was an interesting thread. My ex and I went the mediation route in NoVA because we knew neighter of us would come out very far ahead if we went legal route. We'd both end up poor and HATE each other, not good for our little girl. I had a lot of non-marital assets coming into the marriage, a home, large colle tion of vintage toys, etc. In our 9 years of marriage we sold my first home and used the equity to buy a home together. I did 99% of the remodeling myself and at the time of separation we had another $90-100k in gained equity. I made the deal to split that with her and give her full pick of all other marital assetts. Nicest car, tv's furniture, plates, all that crap that can be replaced.

The mediation agreement cost about $3000 total, we split the costs.
I figure she took $45-50K in marital assets.
I wrote her a check for $40k to buy her out of the house.

So kept the the 5br house in Loudoun county (value increases monthly and it is as cheap as an apartment now here), got very liberal < parenting time > with my daughter, she couldnt touch my vintage collection of Star Wars memorabilia.

We are very cordial and our divorce is final in May. Will be glad when it is all over.....I feel I did very good and I am sorry to read some stories in there. My best advice is to be as nice as you can be. Tell her you know it is over and beg for mediation if you can do it...I know it cant always go this way but identify what is important to you and try to get it. Give her more of things yiu dont care about. All about a good compromise.


May is a long ways away. What are your contingency plans? What is "liberal parenting time"? Has she already cashed the check for $40,000?
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Re: How much did it cost you?!

Unread postby Chaos » Mon Dec 12, 2016 4:49 am

I negotiated GAL fees and attorney's fees too. Doesn't hurt to ask.
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Re: How much did it cost you?!

Unread postby grandetaco » Mon Dec 19, 2016 9:01 am

I stopped keeping track after I crossed $100k many years back.
Yes, negotiate hourly rate with your atty, gal etc.
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Re: How much did it cost you?!

Unread postby chuck123 » Tue Dec 20, 2016 1:46 am

@trevor @hoot74. I'm in no position to judge anyone, because divorce sucks. Really sucks, as you know. Fortunately, she was not a "C-word" about it. At the end of it all, we are the parents of two awesome kids. We are, I guess a "brother-sister" type relationship? I'm tight with her family and vice-versa. Anyway, I look forward to the end of 2016. Fresh start!
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Re: How much did it cost you?!

Unread postby ActiveDAD » Wed Dec 21, 2016 3:01 pm

There are many threads here about managing your attorney and resulting legal fees, maybe this thread would be better served to consolidate those topics and strategies.

Agreed, commiserating on our costs may not productive... though I fully agree it was worth every single cent I paid.

I will say that my Ex's legal fees were more than 3 times that of mine, because I did read this forum and was then able to manage my lawyer effectively.

My Ex is still paying her back legal fees to this day.... :lol:
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Re: How much did it cost you?!

Unread postby Hopin4daBest » Sun Jan 01, 2017 3:48 pm

Every divorce is different so it's not a helpful discussion really.

Unless you can show two different divorces with 100% identical circumstances, where both involved the exact same attorneys and judge, then it's pointless to guage cost comparisons for analysis.

But for the sake of entertaining the post, mine set me back about 35K and I had an absolute nightmare of an NJ.

Some might say oh wow that's ridiculous while others will say damn you got off cheap.

Again, it's all relative to each circumstance
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Re: How much did it cost you?!

Unread postby CrashDavis » Tue Jan 31, 2017 12:29 am

Campfire wrote:

May is a long ways away. What are your contingency plans? What is "liberal parenting time"? Has she already cashed the check for $40,000?

Sorry it took me so long to respond. May is getting here but still a ways to go. I don't really have any contingency plans other than have a lawyer ready to go. No signs of any issues from her. She has cashed my check. To me that was the end of it all. At the end of the day a divorce is a financial transaction. As heartless as it sounds, thats the truth.
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Re: How much did it cost you?!

Unread postby RustBeltCrooner » Wed Feb 01, 2017 11:09 am

120k. 70k for my attorneys, court fees, expert witness (disability expert) and court reporter. 50k to her attorney. Last 8k to my attorney written off in Chapter 7 bankruptcy.
Bankruptcy cost 1.2k --literally one-hundredth of the divorce attorneys and actually benefitted me.
This was a simple divorce with no minor children, no assets other than underwater house and a 401k. Sole dispute was over amount and duration of alimony. I pay her half my take home until death.
Five years of litigation if you include Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Only kid is s28.
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Re: How much did it cost you?!

Unread postby bionic » Thu Feb 16, 2017 11:07 pm

She brought a howitzer to a bb gun fight. There was nothing to fight over. But I had to manage her legal team and her and her family. This forum saved me tons of money and my sanity.
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Re: How much did it cost you?!

Unread postby ninja_dad » Tue Feb 28, 2017 11:04 am

I paid my attorney about $17,000 +$6,000 for custody evaluation
Ex paid hers $37,000, plus the $5,000 I was forced to pay her.
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