How long did it take you?

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: How long did it take you?

Unread postby lionel2013 » Mon May 05, 2014 10:41 pm

Trevor wrote:The other bright light had better be the Record light on your fecking mp3 recorder.


Please help enlighten me here, no pun intended, but what difference would that make at this point? Technically, both of us were right - she was right that the funds should be disbursed after the divorce is final, but I also was right in that the decree did not specify exactly when - within a day, two days, a week or two, and I also was right in that a cash offset was ordered that both of us obviously want to be disbursed correctly. She blew a gasket, swore at me and threatened me. How is recording that going to help me in the future, since I already got < edited > by IL "family law"?

Please do advise, honsetly, 'cause I would love to nail this < female dog > even if just for a while, to teach her a lesson. I do not hate her (she hates me), but she truly has become a rabid < female dog >, it's scary.
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Re: How long did it take you?

Unread postby Floridad » Mon May 05, 2014 10:57 pm

You got into a verbal fight with her.

If she called the cops during or even after she could say that you threatened to kill her and that you were shoving her around. She throws herself it to a wall a few times and gets bruises or scrapes. You get arrested and she files a restraining order against you. You don't get to see her or your kids for a very long time plus the hassle of fighting those charges in court.

Game set match.....you lose!

With a recorder going...if she was to try to file a police report, when they come to talk to you, you have the whole conversation on record and then she gets charged with filing a false police report. It protects you!
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Re: How long did it take you?

Unread postby Trevor » Mon May 05, 2014 11:52 pm

Yep. And it wasn't having that particular conversation recorded. But I am dead serious about you recording every moment you are around this person from here on out. Take very seriously her threat to have you arrested. This is core curriculum among the cadre of overweight, bitter, divorced hens who surround women in process of ending their marriages. It's boilerplate, tried and true, and it will happen. But you have been warned and only thirty bucks stands between you getting handcuffed in front of your kids and hauled off to jail in a squad car, or your STBX being proven to be a liar filing false complaints to law enforcement. If you don't have one when this happens, it's your own fault.
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Re: How long did it take you?

Unread postby lionel2013 » Tue May 06, 2014 11:11 am

Understood ... I was hoping I could avoid this (the recorder), but apparently not. Since she filed a year ago every attempt I made to have civil, decent interactions with her has failed. It is really sad ...

Thanks for the advice ...
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Re: How long did it take you?

Unread postby Trevor » Tue May 06, 2014 12:32 pm

Wait, what? Hoping to avoid defending yourself against false DV? Hoping to avoid spending thirty bucks to keep you out of jail? What makes you think protecting yourself isn't within the scope of civil, decent interaction? And why has a year gone by of failed attempts to have civil discourse without you having already bought a digital recorder? You like to tempt fate, don't you? [Rhet.]
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Re: How long did it take you?

Unread postby lionel2013 » Tue May 06, 2014 12:48 pm

Trevor wrote:Wait, what? Hoping to avoid defending yourself against false DV? Hoping to avoid spending thirty bucks to keep you out of jail? What makes you think protecting yourself isn't within the scope of civil, decent interaction? And why has a year gone by of failed attempts to have civil discourse without you having already bought a digital recorder? You like to tempt fate, don't you? [Rhet.]


Yes, you are correct. It appears I am still in denial, although much less than a year ago. Back then, after I had discovered her infidelity and I was trying to assess how serious the situation was, it was time to enroll for the 2013-2014 employment benefits. For the first time ever, my employer offered almost free legal assistance for a host of issues, including divorce representation (maxed out to 15 hours, but at the rate of $300/hr, still quite a bit of money). I thought about it, then said to myself "naaaah, I won't need to sign up for that, surely we're not getting divorced, surely"

Fast forward a year later, I am divorced, and in the whole for thousands of dollars of legal fees. I guess I do deserve some of what I got, and i need to get used to the idea that I most likely will never have the type of post-divorce relationship with my X that I was hoping I would. It actually has been worse than I ever imagined, so far.
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Re: How long did it take you?

Unread postby Trevor » Tue May 06, 2014 1:32 pm

You have to ask yourself: how many times must I be punched in the face before I figure out a) who's doing the punching; and b) why am I not raising my forearms in defense. [Rhet.]
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Re: How long did it take you?

Unread postby Floridad » Tue May 06, 2014 1:42 pm

Trevor wrote:You have to ask yourself: how many times must I be punched in the face before I figure out a) who's doing the punching; and b) why am I not raising my forearms in defense. [Rhet.]



Reminds me of a joke a comedian I heard along time ago.

He said " I never understood the idea of, if your car starts to skid, turn your wheels in the direction of the skid". Isn't that like when someone throws a left hook at you, you're supposed to " lean in to it" .
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Re: How long did it take you?

Unread postby Trevor » Tue May 06, 2014 2:46 pm

That comedian should keep his day job bagging groceries.
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