Fatheroffour wrote:What role do mediators play in your state? Are ther there to strike a deal or do they make recommendations to the court?
In California, the mediator basically (at least the first go around) listened what I wanted as the petitioner (no change, Thursdays-Sundays every week), then listened to her request quote - "Every other weekend, plus all the weeks"-- He asked what was her justification for that request (he had to explain what justification meant), the he listened, disagreed with her... then I responded, etc.
He then wrote up a recommendation to the court, "her lax parenting style would be complimented by my structured parenting style... so 1 week with her, 1 with me.. alt." -- Both her attorney and mine (at the time) stated that the judge 99.9% of the time will base custody off of the mediation report-- So she adopted it and so did I.
All I can say now, is after nearly 2 years (this August), it's not working for our son... 21 days of school missed 4th grade during her parenting time (he's only missed 2 days this year TOTAL because of my due diligence; including weekly conversations with his teacher, the vice principle, and bringing an apple for the attendance lady 8^) --- I am the only one that's able to affectively help him with his homework (she can't tell you what an improper fraction is, nor can she name all the planets in the solar system.. you get the picture). 6th grade won't be any better. I'd give up all my weekends for just his school weeks so that he would have a chance in being at least up to grade level. He's actually very smart, but she brings out the lazy in him -- he quote "I hated school, he hates school, it's no big deal."
Sorry to hear about your son, sounds like I might be headed down that same path unfortunately.