I have been having phone issues since last July. I would try to call and talk to the kids, and would never get an answer, just a text saying they were busy and would call later. When they did call she would rush them off the phone. My 12S has told me there are times he wants to call and is told he can't, plus he says that he has to stay in the living room to talk to me and can't go to the garage or outside to talk like he used to because NJ wont let him.
In my attempts to talk to the kids daily last year she sent me a text quoting the plan saying I can have two phone calls a week with the kids and for me not to call, that they would call me on certain days and times. I wasn't happy with this and have been documenting everything. I even have a chart of the days of the month I do talk to them on the phone. There have been weeks I only get to talk to them once. It's funny though when I have the kids over an extended period of time that she calls and texts to talk to them. I always make it a point to let them talk to her whenever she wants, even though 12S tells me I shouldn't and to give her a taste of her own medicine. I just tell him that it isn't the right thing to do and let them talk.
I am not trying to find out details of their vacation, I just wasn't sure of the information I needed to get. NJ has been far from honest about anything regarding the kids and their activities. I was involved in the school PTO this past year and the only way I found out about activities my kids were in was because of that. She didn't and wouldn't tell me.
I have been documenting everything, and it has been a lot. It seems to be true that if you give someone enough rope they will hang themself. This has just been so much of a strain on my 12S and 5D. To the point that 12S has told me the first chance he gets he wants to live with me, and he just wants to tell her to divorce the new victim and kick his butt out. My 5D, who I never talk about all that goes on, has even told me twice within the past month that she wishes her new stepdad never married her mother. Something else thats even strange to me is there have been a few times when 12S has been acting out at NJ house, she will call me and accuse me of putting him up to it and wants me to talk to him about his attitude. I tell NJ that he doesn't act that way at my house but I will talk to him.
It just hurts seeing my kids like this. The only time I have trouble with my kids is when its time to take them back, it takes them at least an hour to get ready and then finally they just tell me they don't want to go. And the my 5D starts crying and saying she wants to stay. I have always been afraid that 5D might do that when I pick them up, but it hasn't yet, only when I take her back.
Thanks for all the info, this message board is great. I am going to try and call the kids today, and hopefully I will get to.
As for filing for contempt, I have looked into that and was advised then by my attorney to give it some time and NJ would probably break the plan more. Which she has a lot and I met with my attorney a couple weeks ago and he told me was ready to procede when I was.