NJ Gave up?

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NJ Gave up?

Postby newwife » Tue Jun 05, 2012 4:02 pm

So, filed for custody and temp custody.
Last week, SD15 at NJ's for week(week on week off).
Well, at her birthday party at NJ's, apparently NJ told child she is no longer picking her up, she is going to sell whatever child leaves behind.
So child, with all her friends that were at birthday party, packed up what she wanted,

Then we picked up child as normal, and all her stuff. NJ even disconnected child's phone the next morning.

So. I'm assuming NJ gave up.
It won't be official I suppose until it comes turn for NJ's time to pick her up again and she doesn't show.
But I'm assuming all this would be enough to convince a judge at the temp custody hearing anyway.

Any thoughts? Could this be an evil NJ ploy? She has told child previously she is never picking her up again, but never followed thru. Making her take all her stuff was the furthest she's gone.

But just worried NJ has some grand master plan-you know how they are.
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Re: NJ Gave up?

Postby Anything4Her » Tue Jun 05, 2012 4:15 pm

newwife wrote:NJ told child she is no longer picking her up, she is going to sell whatever child leaves behind.

Evil just got a new face.

No helpful advice, but keep that poor kid away from her crazy mother.
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Re: NJ Gave up?

Postby defaultuser » Tue Jun 05, 2012 4:19 pm

Make sure and tell the kid that its her mother that is the problem, not her. If a parent gives up on you like that, feelings of worthlessness soon follow.
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Re: NJ Gave up?

Postby newwife » Tue Jun 05, 2012 4:26 pm

Just to clarify,

SD's father(my husband) filed for custody by the child's request. We've done a lot of other things to try to turn NJ from being a a bad mother.
Child wants this(obviously we whole heartedly do too, but child realized what is going on). She goes to therapy every week on our week, and is supposed to be going every week on NJ week(but you can assume how that's going).
She realized her mother is her own problem-and she does not need to be sucked into the sespool (i have no idea how to spell that word)
We are doing what we can to make her feel good about herself; my concern is her mother doing something crazy again...or what happens if she comes again at the end of the week to pick her up?
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Re: NJ Gave up?

Postby mbxdad » Tue Jun 05, 2012 5:26 pm

No guidance here, but.... wow.

Just..... wow.

On her daughter's birthday.

My heart goes out to the girl.

Double down on the unconditional love and acceptance.
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Re: NJ Gave up?

Postby minuette » Wed Jun 06, 2012 1:37 am

newwife wrote:what happens if she comes again at the end of the week to pick her up?

[open door]

"The next time you see this child, it will be when you make an appointment with a family therapist, referred by the child's current therapist, and are ready to work on your issues in a therapeutic setting."

[close door]


If the cops come...the kid is of an age that the cops will shrug and maybe jot down a few notes.

Once you've denied her parenting time, file an emergency motion for supervised < parenting time > for the mother in a therapuetic setting only, until such time as both the family therapist and the child's personal therapist clears unsupervised visits to resume.

Can she try to spank you in court on a contempt motion? Sure. I'd bet money that the judge will be po'd at her for that birthday party stunt and order therapy as a condition of continued < parenting time >.
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Re: NJ Gave up?

Postby Thoughts? » Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:01 am

Have hubby go on record with the NJ that he encourages and supports on-going contact with her, and that he hopes she maintains that contact.

Wait for two missed pickups. By default, in many states (not sure yours), failure to exercise possession reps a change in circs.

Do not file until he has gone on record as supporting contact, and she has missed contact a couple of times.

And get the child into counseling regardless of outcome. She's nuts, and has damaged this child for life.
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Re: NJ Gave up?

Postby newwife » Mon Jun 11, 2012 11:09 am

Filing was already done. Even filed for temporary custody.
I think that's what started it.

She did not pickup yesterday when she could have. Temp hearing this Friday. So I'm assuming it will be easy for our attorney. She probably won't even show up.

SD15 was happy. She said she wouldn't have gone with her anyway.

The stressful part will be-I know the judge will give her < parenting time > time. But everytime, we will be sitting waiting, and Nj will not show up. I hate waiting. I was so nervous last night waiting to see if she would show.

Is there something you can put into a new agreement that states someone must confirm if they wish to use parenting time? I hate to have to plan to be there just knowing it was for nothing.
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Re: NJ Gave up?

Postby Trevor » Mon Jun 11, 2012 11:57 am

Nothing wrong with a text beforehand saying "We are out running errands. Until we hear from you, we'll be away from home." And live your life and make your plans. have a backup in case she happens to appear. No point being hostage to the small probablility that she'll show. and if she does, simply head back home and meet then.
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Re: NJ Gave up?

Postby spencerian » Mon Jun 11, 2012 12:16 pm

There's a REASON why they're so affectionately called "Nut Job"
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