Do you all consider the person that filed for divorce is...

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Do you all consider the person that filed for divorce is...

Postby embattled » Thu May 03, 2012 4:47 pm

Do you all consider the person that filed for divorce is the one that should have to deal with being the non-custodial parent, pay CS and "Visit" the kids?

Or does it NOT matter who filed...?
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Re: Do you all consider the person that filed for divorce is

Postby Fatheroffour » Thu May 03, 2012 4:53 pm

Not relevant under the best interest standard but I'm biased. I've always been the plaintiff.
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Re: Do you all consider the person that filed for divorce is

Postby Fatheroffour » Thu May 03, 2012 5:00 pm

Such a law would create some interesting dilemmas. One spouse gets tired of the other so just takes the kids and moves. The other party can't file for divorce and is stuck in limbo because they would like to see their kids but can't because filing for divorce assures they will not get custody.

What other laws would have to change to achieve the goal?

What is the goal?
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Re: Do you all consider the person that filed for divorce is

Postby BubbaGumpShrimp » Sat May 05, 2012 1:22 am

Should it matter? No. However, it's not difficult to see how the bias exists. If a man is going to file...he is more likely than not going to be the one that will have to vacate the marital property. As such, that can create the appearance of abandonment. As such, he implies that the mother is the primary caregiver.

I'm not saying that I agree with that position (I don't)...just that I can see the "logic" that people who reach that conclusion use. This really all wraps back to the antiquated thought that females raise kids and men go to work. As such...the kids need to spend most of the time with Mom and only need to enjoy brief "fun" visits from Dad.

I would imagine that MANY judges look at Dad's and see a dollar sign...not a custodial parent. If that weren't true...men wouldn't get hosed with custody more often than not.
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Re: Do you all consider the person that filed for divorce is

Postby Fatheroffour » Sat May 05, 2012 1:42 am

Gump, are you aware that women file for divorce in the vast majority of cases?
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Re: Do you all consider the person that filed for divorce is

Postby BubbaGumpShrimp » Sat May 05, 2012 1:54 am

Fatheroffour wrote:Gump, are you aware that women file for divorce in the vast majority of cases?


Yes...something like 70% of the time. However, the stereotype is that men are the instigator.
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Re: Do you all consider the person that filed for divorce is

Postby Fatheroffour » Sat May 05, 2012 2:16 am

Is it?

Who holds this stereotype , because that's the first I've heard of it. It seems pretty common knowledge that women file the majority of the time and has been the source of public debate as to why for a while.
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Re: Do you all consider the person that filed for divorce is

Postby CCR » Sat May 05, 2012 5:28 am

Women file at 70% because they have little to lose. They usually retain custody and get child support payments. If they don't work and have few assets, they get govt. benefits. In other words, there's always somebody there to financially take care of them. It's all pretty much a "winner" for them.
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Re: Do you all consider the person that filed for divorce is

Postby BubbaGumpShrimp » Sat May 05, 2012 9:47 am

Fatheroffour wrote:Is it?

Who holds this stereotype , because that's the first I've heard of it. It seems pretty common knowledge that women file the majority of the time and has been the source of public debate as to why for a while.


As CCR said...look at it from the standpoint of the AVERAGE woman's statistical likelihood of coming out ahead in a divorce. There aren't too many cases where a woman is going to leave a marriage with less than she brought to the table.
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Re: Do you all consider the person that filed for divorce is

Postby BartSimpson » Sat May 05, 2012 10:10 am

BubbaGumpShrimp wrote:There aren't too many cases where a woman is going to leave a marriage with less than she brought to the table.

Whoa Bubba, it happens often enough that we even have a name for it - The Mr. Wonderful Effect.

Modern Women leave their relationships most frequently because they perceive they can get a Bigger Better Deal.

And in my experience, so many Dad's fall on their swords that it distorts the stereotype.
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