Some of you are aware of the things on my plate right now - more specifically my ex wanting to move with D3. Things haven't even begun to heat up yet. NJ has even stated that the move "might" happen and if it does, "Babydaddy will be able to provide a better life for D3 and NJ". It is not "Babydaddy's" job to provide for D3. It is mine. That is why I am willing to fight tooth and nail to have D3 stay here with me and let NJ and Babydaddy move.
I know that doing this will involve a custody mod and relocation case. Neither NJ nor I can afford this. I know that I am a HUGE obstacle preventing NJ from moving. She knows as well.
Nothing is keeping me in my current town except for D3. As some of you know, I even had a momentary lapse of judgement where I considered moving. I have since determined that being local is indeed the very best thing I can do.
I have come up with an idea that I would like to run by you folks. The place where NJ wants to move actually could provide more potential for me as well. There are several colleges I can attend and a larger job market. What if I were to write a letter to NJ saying basically,
"I understand you and babydaddy's desperation to move to Orlando. Fighting in court over this issue will be very costly for both of us. I would like to offer you a compromise. If I agree to you moving, I will move to Orlando as well. I will only agree to moving to Orlando under one condition. Once we are down there and settled in, I gain 50/50 custody where I will have equal time sharing with you and no one pays child support. If you do not agree with this stipulation, then I will object to your relocation. If you do agree, I will have my attorney draw up a new parenting plan that reflects the new conditions of parenting time. I hope that we can work something out."
I am thinking that this could be my way of gaining 50/50 without fighting it out in court. What do you guys think?
You could also do what my X did to me. She agreed to everything I proposed about the move and then renig at the last minute, after she is committed to moving. Then you'd get your kid almost all the time...
Keep in mind settlement negotiations, like your letter, are inadmissible in court.
You are right. Timing is key. In her e-mail responding to my objection, she mentioned that babydaddy has to be accepted into law school first. She said that if he isn't accepted that they aren't going anywhere.
I wouldn't be opposed to moving, but I am going to give her the impression that I will only allow the move if I get 50/50. But yea, I won't do anything until I get the word that babydaddy is accepted.
I like your ideas with the wording. I really want to make sure I say everything correctly. I also want her to know that if she is opposed to moving with the stipulation of me gaining 50/50, I am prepared to do what I have to to keep D3 in my town.
In the event NJ rejects my compromise, can that possibly affect a judge's decision?
Stepping up to take on 50/50 parenting, going with the plan when it's the best thing for everyone, being the adult who's willing to compromise. Bravo sir. Role model material.
Now my questions: Is being a hard-ass and delivering an ultimatum the best first step in this negotiation? What are her objections to 50/50 custody? Can you address those and turn this into a win-win instead of picking a fight right off the bat?
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