Re: Update: Temporary Orders

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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Started Over » Wed Dec 06, 2017 10:17 pm

What happens when a narcissist marries a borderline and they have children?

hoot74 wrote:
Started Over wrote:And hoot regularly refuses to accept that he has any negative role whatsoever in his relationship with his children. Everything he has done that is problematic is only problematic because his ex is an alienator.

I use the "but for" test.

But for my ex's behavior, my children would not be alienated.
But for my girlfriend's existence, my children would STILL be alienated.

Let me make it easier for you. Imagine that you raped your child because you were angry that your ex got a new boyfriend - it's your way of getting back at her! Would you think that your ex "contributed" to the rape by having a boyfriend? What do you think a jury would say if you justified the rape by saying it was your ex's fault for having a boyfriend?

(By the way, parental alienation is worse than raping your child).
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Wed Dec 06, 2017 10:31 pm

Are you are not intelligent enough or aware enough of your surroundings to understand the less than enthusiastic reception of your assertion?
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Chaos » Wed Dec 06, 2017 10:43 pm

How is raping your own child not psychological abuse???

Jesus, the < feces > you say.

Fatheroffour wrote:Are you are not intelligent enough or aware enough of your surroundings to understand the less than enthusiastic reception of your assertion?


Both.
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Started Over » Wed Dec 06, 2017 11:03 pm

I really want to get in before the lock because I don't want Hoot's idiotic statement to be the last point made.

My ex told my daughter while we were divorcing that she wasn't my biological daughter, and then told her that I abused her, and then "let her decide" whether she wanted to have a relationship with me. I know alienation and the psychological harm it can cause. I just recently got my daughter out of a psych hold for suicidal ideation, three years after I was awarded custody. I'm working through this real time.

But I always make sure to look at myself. How can I make things easier for my daughter. What can I change to help my daughter grow? What do I need to do to make sure my daughter grows up safe and healthy and becomes a productive member of society?

It was wrong of me to keep the fact that I wasn't my daughter's biological father. I should have told her myself, and I should have told her before my ex did so without letting me be there. Admitting my own faults does not excuse the behavior of her mother.
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:04 am

That's what a half million dollars in legal fees will get you. A degreed soulless assassin that will get on the stand and state what the ex is doing is worse than rape.

Maybe us dumb laymen just can't understand such intellectuality of how a violent rape is better than alienating a parent. I'll admit, I'm triggered. If I see such inflammatory statements posted again without the accompanying definitive proof wrapped up with it I'll delete the writers existence.

This isn't an exercise in free speech and not the place to share your thoughts about raping children.
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby LovingDadof2 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 7:23 am

Fatheroffour wrote:This isn't an exercise in free speech and not the place to share your thoughts about raping children.
Hoot, you are in deep. You are invested financially and emotionally. You hired experts and they testified to what you wanted and indicated the judge is leaning your way due to their damaging testimony. You want to win so bad and as Dad's we all understand the need to protect our children. But... stand back and realize that your analogy is terrible and all wrong. Everyone here will admit both are emotionally damaging, but to compare to a sexual assault on a minor is unconscionable.
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Trevor » Thu Dec 07, 2017 8:36 am

hoot74 wrote:Of course, the settled science is not yet accepted by laymen.

Before this thread gets blatted to hell, do cite the source that asserts the same.

BTW, "settled science" =/= one study, even if it is done with 17k HMO respondents in southern CA 20 years ago.

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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 8:56 am

I would like to read this study and any other study that supports this finding.
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Outis » Thu Dec 07, 2017 1:05 pm

hoot74 wrote:What did you think of Amy Baker's research that compared the damaging effects of alienation to the effects of rape of a minor?

You need to offer more information than that. What's the title of her peer-reviewed and published paper?
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Outis » Thu Dec 07, 2017 1:29 pm

I do not see that comparison in the article.
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