Karon Waiver

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Re: Karon Waiver

Unread postby a dad » Fri Jul 14, 2017 3:58 pm

All I know is if you come back here complaining about permanent alimony again, like you have been for years, I'm going to link to your previous post.

Let the record show that you have hereby turned down ending permanent alimony, twice.
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Re: Karon Waiver

Unread postby lionel2013 » Fri Jul 14, 2017 4:28 pm

Trevor wrote:A possibility: she's about to get married and is trying to get a big paycheck.


That's what I'm thinking.
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Re: Karon Waiver

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Jul 14, 2017 6:35 pm

Trevor wrote:A possibility: she's about to get married and is trying to get a big paycheck.
The more I think about it, the more I think this is a distinct possibility.

Bottom line: NJ wants to have it both ways; a big cash pay-out AND marriage to Mr W. Frankly Bro, in your shoes, as a matter of spite, I would give her neither.

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Re: Karon Waiver

Unread postby DoctorZ » Sun Jul 16, 2017 8:35 pm

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:
Trevor wrote:A possibility: she's about to get married and is trying to get a big paycheck.
The more I think about it, the more I think this is a distinct possibility.

Bottom line: NJ wants to have it both ways; a big cash pay-out AND marriage to Mr W. Frankly Bro, in your shoes, as a matter of spite, I would give her neither.

Tom


Sounds like it, doesn't it... A dad, keep counting - I turned down permanent alimony 3rd time.
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Re: Karon Waiver

Unread postby picachu » Mon Jul 17, 2017 1:29 pm

DoctorZ wrote:Trevor, you maybe right. There are some signs that are pointing to that fact - she is cohabitating with the one she cheated with.

She wants a lot of things - 65K cash now, as not alimony (tax free for her), $10Kthen I have to pay her for 3 more years $2400/mo plus child support until my son finishes high school in 2020. Then she wants me to contribute $52,000 within 3 years to his college fund. My calculations show that this would ne an equivalent of paying her for the next 10.5-11 years.

So her marriage is the concern.

Just say no. She is asking way too much. As we discussed here a couple of years ago, the only thing that is holding you in this country is your son. In three years he goes to college. After that you may retire to you know where and leave your X to deal with her debt and paramour. If she decides to marry him and to get off your back, you may un-retire a couple of years later and to return to the US. In the meantime, downshift, downsize, prepare to move. Spend more time with your son and don't waste your time on your X.
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Re: Karon Waiver

Unread postby Minerva » Mon Jul 17, 2017 3:05 pm

You have permanent unending alimony? You pay her until she dies?

I would take her offer in a heartbeat, why would you even consider it?

How many women do you know that "want to get married" or "cohabitate" but never terminate their alimony? As we should all know, it's incredibly easy to live with a partner for years on end without ever really "living" with them. It's obvious the court is fond of her too so good luck proving that she's worthy of ending alimony to the same judge that overturned your attorney and then got appealed twice (if you thought he hated you before......).

All this stuff about not giving her extra money, that kind of emotional warfare is unmanly. This is a financial decision. Do you pay a little up front to end a lifetime contract? Don't make it emotional.

As for the deal, I'd have two concerns:

A) Can you avoid the penalty transferring to her 401K plan? This isn't a QDRO due to a divorce, you may have to pay a penalty or taxes on the distribution. Check with someone who knows for sure (probably not a family law attorney).

B) I would never agree to cover 100% of sons medical bills. Pay for his insurance, then offer 80% or something. Reason being that you give your ex permission to make your wife miserable by taking him to the doctor every day to rack up bills. You need to ensure she has some financial accountability for doctors visits, even if it's a token amount.
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Re: Karon Waiver

Unread postby DoctorZ » Mon Jul 17, 2017 5:24 pm

Minerva wrote:You have permanent unending alimony? You pay her until she dies?

That's the sentence I got from the judge.

Minerva wrote:I would take her offer in a heartbeat, why would you even consider it?

Because all signs are pointing to what pucachu, Tom, Trevor and Messi noticed - she is close to getting married. He will get a nice wedding gift from me and also a responsibility of putting my son to college (who is actually damaged by the divorce, with 529 plan will cover only one year of college for him in three years.).

Minerva wrote:How many women do you know that "want to get married" or "cohabitate" but never terminate their alimony?
Honestly I only know my ex, but yes, I heard that's very rare...

Minerva wrote:A) Can you avoid the penalty transferring to her 401K plan? This isn't a QDRO due to a divorce, you may have to pay a penalty or taxes on the distribution. Check with someone who knows for sure (probably not a family law attorney).
Yep, checked with the CPA. Need QDRO prepared by lawyers and approved by the judge. Otherwise I will pay 25% faxes + 10% fees on that amount.

Minerva wrote:B) I would never agree to cover 100% of sons medical bills. Pay for his insurance, then offer 80% or something. Reason being that you give your ex permission to make your wife miserable by taking him to the doctor every day to rack up bills. You need to ensure she has some financial accountability for doctors visits, even if it's a token amount.

This is only for the time he will be in college, so I do not think he will will e going to doctors that much. We share 60/40 medical bills now until he is 18.

BTW in addition she wants me to pay an increased child support for remaining 3 years until he is in high school. I did not mentioned it because I still have to pay it anyways, as well as 60% of his health insurance and medical bills.
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Re: Karon Waiver

Unread postby nr552 » Mon Jul 17, 2017 7:11 pm

Regarding QDRO--- I was able to do mine without an attorney. My company's 401k financial group had a QDRO administrator, and they basically said to draft up how you want the division to be, to whom, etc. BEFORE you have it signed off by the judge, which in turn has to be approved by the administrator of my 401K, I was told to send them the draft to get the "ok we will approve this once received from the judge." My ex's attorney drafted up the boiler plate letter for the QDRO (with my offer/request verbatim on division), I read it over, had an attorney view it for me gratis, then sent to the plan administrator to get their "ok". Took maybe 3 days turn around, notified my ex's attorney it was a go, they submitted it to the court-- judge signed off on it the next day, then sent back to QDRO administrator. Done. Mine was simple though.
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Re: Karon Waiver

Unread postby nr552 » Mon Jul 17, 2017 7:36 pm

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:
massdaddio wrote:It really comes down to how confident you are that she will not be able to get alimony restarted. You might think you have an iron-clad contract, but I don't trust family court. After alimony ends, she could come back with her tears and woe stories and get alimony started again.
^^^ When you got the 5 yr alimony order, a non-modifiable (no revisitation) clause should've been added at that time.

But then again, that too could've been set aside. As we know, all too well, family court judges enjoy extraordinary latitude from the bench.

DoctorZ wrote:......the fun part will be to overturn it yet again to a 5-year alimony with the conditions.....
Alimony, like parenting time, can be modified at any time - as long as the parties agree to terms and conditions set therein. Only this time, be sure to get a termination date certain and a non-modification clause. The only clause you want is if you lose your job or take a pay cut.

Tom


Question for Tom on this. When I negotiated with my ex re: termination of SS, perm, non modifiable (and in turn I will pay all out of pocket medical/dental costs for our S), the judge made quite certain that my ex understood that she is waiving her right to ANY future spousal support, and that she could NEVER return no matter what the circumstances were, to request a spousal support order for this case. Is that not iron clad? My marriage was a long term (nearly 16 years), and we agreed on 8 years of spousal support by stipulated order.
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Re: Karon Waiver

Unread postby DoctorZ » Mon Jul 17, 2017 11:10 pm

nr552 wrote: When I negotiated with my ex re: termination of SS, perm, non modifiable (and in turn I will pay all out of pocket medical/dental costs for our S), the judge made quite certain that my ex understood that she is waiving her right to ANY future spousal support, and that she could NEVER return no matter what the circumstances were, to request a spousal support order for this case. Is that not iron clad? My marriage was a long term (nearly 16 years), and we agreed on 8 years of spousal support by stipulated order.


NR, what was her conditions for terminating SS, and when did you negotiate the agreement with your ex - was it several years after the trial or later? Thanks!
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