Ex Parte Order Defense Questions..?

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Re: Ex Parte Order Defense Questions..?

Unread postby massdad1234 » Fri Jan 12, 2018 1:15 pm

agree with afc. If you want to have a shot, don't tell a story, tell the truth, it will set you free. You made a terrible mistake, one you will use to motivate you for the rest of your life to always put your children's needs first. You will seek the treatment you need to be the dad they deserve.
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Re: Ex Parte Order Defense Questions..?

Unread postby PerniciousLord » Fri Jan 12, 2018 1:19 pm

afc wrote:You need to make sure you are not seen as a tragedy waiting to happen.


Okay, that is what my main goal is. I've followed the order to a "t," I've not contacted her, not had anyone contact her for me, nothing. She and my mom have talked about the bills, and they got some of my stuff. I'm trying to do everything I can to show that I'm working on me, and am following the law. My attorney told me that I didn't have to pay the bills, but that it would be a good show of good faith to do so, so I have, plus I don't want my kids without water, heat, or electricity. I'm trying to get counselling and therapy set up, I'm trying to find dad's parenting groups to join, I've read a couple parenting books, I've been leaning on my friends and family to help me through all this. I've relied heavily on my safety/treatment plans since I left the facility.

Do you think all these things will help my case? Or is it futile to hope that this gets dismissed?
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Re: Ex Parte Order Defense Questions..?

Unread postby afc » Fri Jan 12, 2018 1:22 pm

I have a question.

So what if all these things end up not mattering to the case right now?

Arent they good things to be doing anyway? If you walk out of court and the RO is extended for awhile, are you going to give up hope and stop doing all these self improvement things?
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Re: Ex Parte Order Defense Questions..?

Unread postby PerniciousLord » Fri Jan 12, 2018 1:25 pm

afc wrote:I have a question.

So what if all these things end up not mattering to the case right now?

Arent they good things to be doing anyway? If you walk out of court and the RO is extended for awhile, are you going to give up hope and stop doing all these self improvement things?


I wont stop improving upon myself. I fear not being able to see my children, they are still very young, and could easily forget me/learn to live without me. I don't want them to grow up not knowing that I love them.
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Re: Ex Parte Order Defense Questions..?

Unread postby dad2grls » Fri Jan 12, 2018 1:27 pm

You're "trying to set up counseling" and you're "trying to find support groups"

How long could it possibly take to find a therapist and some support groups?

You look up therapists under your insurance coverage and you make some calls and schedule an appointment.

You research on father's support groups find out when the next meeting is and you clear your schedule.

It should take maybe an hour, if you're slow on a computer.
Last edited by dad2grls on Fri Jan 12, 2018 1:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Ex Parte Order Defense Questions..?

Unread postby afc » Fri Jan 12, 2018 1:28 pm

That fear/anxiety has already led you to poor choices on behavior.

You need to get ahold of that and still do the "working on yourself" even if this first hearing doesnt go the way you want.

You keep working on yourself, regroup and work with your lawyer to go again.
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Re: Ex Parte Order Defense Questions..?

Unread postby PerniciousLord » Fri Jan 12, 2018 1:35 pm

dad2grls wrote:You're "trying to set up counseling" and you're "trying to find support groups"


I used the wrong verbs, I am having to wait until February to see a therapist/counsellor. There are steps that have to be done prior to that, and the hospital here is working on getting me through those. I've found some support groups, they just aren't as active as I'd like. Nor do they have as many members as I'd like to see, but I've got more searching to do. I'm planning on reaching out to my church, and seeing what my pastor knows about local groups. I've got plans and ideas that I'm working on. I just have a lot going on right now, obviously. It's just taking some time.
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Re: Ex Parte Order Defense Questions..?

Unread postby massdad1234 » Fri Jan 12, 2018 1:39 pm

that's right OP - make your children your north star. You're 100%, they are young enough, that you can really invest in you, take along time to reprogram yourself that they will only remember that version of you. The one in which your principles and actions were perfectly aligned. Talk about a great example for them to model themselves after!
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