Moving back in

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: Moving back in

Unread postby massdad1234 » Wed Jan 10, 2018 1:21 pm

every time Charlie Brown tries to kick the football, Lucy pulls it away from him. You're Charlie Brown.
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Re: Moving back in

Unread postby Lion1234 » Wed Jan 10, 2018 1:23 pm

in my case, she flings it at my bloodied nose.

I promise, my next divorce will go much smoother.
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Re: Moving back in

Unread postby massdad1234 » Wed Jan 10, 2018 1:37 pm

unless you have crappy computer hygiene, you have an advantage, this site. You need to pay attention, listen and follow the solid advice that has been passed down based on large amounts of anecdotal experience.

As bad as it has been, your STBX has been worse and even more unprepared, but don't bank on that. Once the sisterhood starts whispering in her ears, she will probably see dollar signs.
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Re: Moving back in

Unread postby dad2grls » Wed Jan 10, 2018 1:54 pm

LovingDadof2 wrote:Wouldn't look good? Don't fool yourself, nobody has filed for divorce so she can do whatever she wants with the money and the court/judge won't care one bit. Courts only care after the filing. If she consults an attorney, they'll tell her exactly the same thing.


Not true.

Lion1234 wrote:I cant' file until September, correct.

Yes, I should have been more proactive and moved the money sooner, nothing I can do now.

I do not think she will willingly <urine> the money away. She needs it to live on.


Don't be so worried about the money she moves prior to filing for divorce despite suggestions made by posters to the contrary.

The court has a "look back" period, typically 3 years where every financial transaction will be scrutinized and if she has been found to liquidate joint marital funds, ultimately that will count against her share of the marital equity that will be divided at settlement.

Think about it. If the other posters who tell you "she can do whatever she wants and it won't matter until you file" are correct, then EVERYONE would liquidate assets THEN file for divorce and there's nothing anyone could do about it.

Fortunately it doesn't work that way.
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Re: Moving back in

Unread postby Havalu7 » Wed Jan 10, 2018 2:10 pm

Dude calm down. Keep your eyes on the prize.

Trevor made a great point; no eye contact no conflict. Nothing good can come out of conflict. Nothing.

OP instead of mass posting every whim and emotion you are feeling or whatever the hell the STBX and her hens are saying aka promising this and you need to do that and and and and up to and including laying multicolor unicorn eggs; post on some new guys threads with what you have hopefully learneed here already ala not moving out, DAR use, liquidating funds first.

You are like Bama at the start if the second half; now go silently and stealthly kick some tail.

Help some other guys do what is right and fair. Focus on the kids not her.

You got this dude just don't make any other possibly costly mistakes like running hour mouth and having hour DGAF Radio Silence meter turned down low.
"No." is a complete sentence.

Do not move out of your house.
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Re: Moving back in

Unread postby Lion1234 » Wed Jan 10, 2018 2:21 pm

Havalu7 wrote:Dude calm down. Keep your eyes on the prize.
Trevor made a great point; no eye contact no conflict. Nothing good can come out of conflict. Nothing.


yes, that's it for me. no more trying to charm the snake. I keep thinking of the person i married - nice, reasonable, calm. now i see that person is not there anymore.
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Re: Moving back in

Unread postby Trevor » Wed Jan 10, 2018 5:53 pm

People who live their lives looking in the rear view mirror tend to crash their cars.
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: Moving back in

Unread postby massdad1234 » Wed Jan 10, 2018 7:39 pm

only a fool trips over something behind him
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Re: Moving back in

Unread postby Havalu7 » Wed Jan 10, 2018 9:58 pm

Bro not to coddle you but dont get stuck in the "what could have been" mode.

If you start to feel sad; acknowledge it, shake it off and move on with the next right step.

Was it you or scout I referenced the "No Contact: Ending a Destructive Relationship" book?

It was VERY helpful to me in the midst of a extremely high conflict divorce, and now keeping myself in healthy relationships now. I had it on my Nook and jotted down notes and dates which still helps me going back over it to this day. Check it out. Look over my past few posts as I linked it.

In addition to all of the other great sayings about looking forward a good ole boy buddy always told me:
"Admit it, quit it, and forget it."

You got this dude!
"No." is a complete sentence.

Do not move out of your house.
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Re: Moving back in

Unread postby LovingDadof2 » Fri Jan 12, 2018 1:47 pm

dad2grls wrote:Don't be so worried about the money she moves prior to filing for divorce despite suggestions made by posters to the contrary.

The court has a "look back" period, typically 3 years where every financial transaction will be scrutinized and if she has been found to liquidate joint marital funds, ultimately that will count against her share of the marital equity that will be divided at settlement.
You are missing the point. She can spend that money on many things and the court wouldn't care at all. OP indicated these were his funds exclusively but he commingled. OP also indicated she may use those funds to pay off house. Do you think a judge is going to award him any of this money if his STBX uses it to pay off a joint marital debt before any divorce filing? There is a lesson here for all newbies...
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