Divorce in Utah - questions

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Divorce in Utah - questions

Unread postby secondscount » Fri Jan 05, 2018 1:37 pm

New guy here.

A little history-

I have been married for 27 years. Almost 4 years ago my wife asked to open our marriage which I did. About a year into it, she asked for a divorce as things did not turn out the way she wanted. She and I both made some changes with our outside relationships, went to counseling, and made it another 3 years until things recently fell apart.

Our house is paid for, kids are grown- youngest is 19, and we have zero debt. I have a retirement account that is about 20X what hers is.

I have very little understanding of Utah divorce law but she has been gracious and we have come to an agreement on paper. On paper, I am getting the better end of the deal with more than 50% due to the retirement, no alimony, but she wants to remain friends and I am okay with that. She has a nice car which is paid for and with the money she is taking from the divorce, she will be able to pay cash for a townhome, and have a good amount left in the bank.

She is the petitioner and we have listed out the finances, vehicles, home, and other important property. With the amount showing in my favor, will the judge have an issue with this when the divorce is submitted? Is this considered a non-contested divorce?
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Re: Divorce in Utah - questions

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Fri Jan 05, 2018 1:45 pm

Judges pretty much will sign off on any divorce agreement as long as none of it is illegal or out-of-this-world crazy.
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Re: Divorce in Utah - questions

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Jan 05, 2018 1:52 pm

So long as you don't agree to post majority child support or pay for college, sounds like you have an agreement in place.

Utah
Termination of support at 18 or when child graduates from high school
Utah Code Ann. § 15-2-1 provides that in divorce actions, courts may order support to age 21.

All you hafta do is sign on the dotted line and go your separate ways. Consider yourself lucky.

Tom
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Re: Divorce in Utah - questions

Unread postby SoxFan1986 » Sat Jan 06, 2018 10:28 am

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:

All you hafta do is sign on the dotted line and go your separate ways. Consider yourself lucky.

Tom


Sounds like kids all are grown up and there's enough money to split up to make everyone happy.

If I read your post currently, you get to keep the house in exchange for 50% of your retirement fund. She will use that money to start her new life.

My only comments:

1. I would not give her the money till the house is signed over to you.
2. Would you get hit with a large tax bill for cashing in retirement money? is so who covers that?

Otherwise you sound like one of the lucky ones!
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Re: Divorce in Utah - questions

Unread postby secondscount » Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:31 pm

She is basically getting half the value of the house after I take a loan. She is also getting a 2016 Camry with 20K miles and is paid for.

The amount she will receive is 1/6th of my retirement when I turn 60, so I don't have to cash out now. She also has her retirement which will not be touched.

In talking with a friend yesterday, because it was her decision to open the marriage, that things should be a little more favorable to me.
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Re: Divorce in Utah - questions

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:11 pm

Your friend would be incorrect, legally. If she agrees that's fine but if she doesn't then legally she gets half of everything.
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Re: Divorce in Utah - questions

Unread postby Minerva » Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:27 am

You should do whatever you need to do get this signed and finalized before she realizes she's screwing herself over.

You are getting out of paying alimony in a 27 year marriage.

If she took it to trial you'd give her half of everything and be making payments to her for quite some time (probably life but I don't know details about Utah).

Just finalize it ASAP and assuming your retirement is in 401k or IRAs QDRO it out immediately after filing so you can live the rest of your life without worrying about court.
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Re: Divorce in Utah - questions

Unread postby afc » Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:29 am

Your friend is full of < feces >

"In talking with a friend yesterday, because it was her decision to open the marriage, that things should be a little more favorable to me."

Four years ago she asked. And you agreed. And you both conducted outside relationships.

So it won't matter.

Don't take divorce advice from your friends.
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Re: Divorce in Utah - questions

Unread postby dad2grls » Mon Jan 08, 2018 3:17 pm

secondscount wrote:She is basically getting half the value of the house after I take a loan. She is also getting a 2016 Camry with 20K miles and is paid for.

The amount she will receive is 1/6th of my retirement when I turn 60, so I don't have to cash out now. She also has her retirement which will not be touched.

In talking with a friend yesterday, because it was her decision to open the marriage, that things should be a little more favorable to me.


I take this statement to mean that your friend said in effect "It's unfair for you to get half (or less than half) because ending the marriage was (originally) your wife's idea.

And your friend would be right, but at the same time, what your friend said is irrelevant because what's "fair" has no place in divorce nor in the laws that the courts follow, even though distribution is supposed to be equitable.

It's too difficult to prove fault in the few states where it even matters, it's too time consuming and expensive in almost every case.

You need to get off the "what's fair" bandwagon, because in the vast majority of divorces both sides walk way thinking they got screwed to some degree. If you think you're getting a more than even settlement than thank your lucky stars and get the papers signed before your wife has a change of heart.

Be glad you don't have minor children, and that you have enough assets that you'll both be able to support yourselves after it's all over. Lots of people don't have that luxury.
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Re: Divorce in Utah - questions

Unread postby secondscount » Mon Jan 08, 2018 5:09 pm

Thank you all for your responses.

I was asking the question about the open marriage as I didn't know how the court would rule in case she decided to get more out of the divorce than what she is asking for.

My issue isn't so much the money or things as I can rebuild, even if I was left with nothing. The biggest thing that I have lost is my dream. I worked hard to create a stable financial situation for us and I don't consider it luck. Am I lucky that she isn't pushing for half of everything? Maybe, but she is cashing out, not having to worry about selling a house, vehicles, or personal items. She gets to walk away without having to worry about supporting a mortgage or a car payment.

I cannot say the same for me as my original dream has been shattered but I will continue to enjoy life, work hard, and be thankful for the things that I have. There are others on here in far worse shape and I am thankful not to be in their shoes.
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