Looking at a divorce...

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: Looking at a divorce...

Unread postby Chicyn2001 » Fri Jan 05, 2018 12:40 pm

PerniciousLord wrote:I have a lot of text messages saved, however, that show her history of depression/anxiety/suicidal intent. I also have text messages where she states that she cannot handle our children, or where she calls herself a horrible mother, or where she admits to emotionally(and almost physically) cheating on me.

Just keep all that in your back pocket for now. A skilled attorney will tell you when to play that card if and when you actually need to. Speaking of which, might be a good time to consult legal counsel and see where you stand. I can only speak for myself but if I got served with any kind of documentation saying I couldn't see my children, I would have an appointment scheduled with a lawyer before breakfast was done.
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Re: Looking at a divorce...

Unread postby PerniciousLord » Fri Jan 05, 2018 1:51 pm

I think I get what you are saying. I only have these text messages to try to discredit any testimony she tries to fabricate about me, to try to show the court that she is projecting these things she has done to our children onto me. This is just an attempt to throw doubt onto the validity of the restraining order, I also plan on subpoenaing the sheriff's officer that I left with to go get treatment, so he can testify to my demeanor, willingness to voluntarily seek treatment, and to testify to the fact that there was no reason to be afraid or alarmed. He honestly didn't even write up a report or take any statements or anything. So right now, my focus is fighting the order so I can see my children. I have an almost three year old son and an almost one year old daughter.
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Re: Looking at a divorce...

Unread postby PerniciousLord » Fri Jan 05, 2018 1:56 pm

Chicyn2001 wrote:
PerniciousLord wrote:I have a lot of text messages saved, however, that show her history of depression/anxiety/suicidal intent. I also have text messages where she states that she cannot handle our children, or where she calls herself a horrible mother, or where she admits to emotionally(and almost physically) cheating on me.

Just keep all that in your back pocket for now. A skilled attorney will tell you when to play that card if and when you actually need to. Speaking of which, might be a good time to consult legal counsel and see where you stand. I can only speak for myself but if I got served with any kind of documentation saying I couldn't see my children, I would have an appointment scheduled with a lawyer before breakfast was done.


Yeah, I've got a team of Lawyers/Attorneys that specialize in both Divorce and orders of protection. They even have knowledge in things like child development.
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Re: Looking at a divorce...

Unread postby PerniciousLord » Fri Jan 05, 2018 2:04 pm

I also have a text message the day after my emotional/mental breakdown where she told me, on two separate occasions, where my STBX told me she wouldn't keep the kids away from me or that I was a good father. I have a safety plan in place to keep myself from getting to the point that I was at, I also have goals set to improve myself. Such as schooling, going back to church, reading more parenting books, and the like. I plan on using all this to show how I'm planning on bettering myself.
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Re: Looking at a divorce...

Unread postby massdad1234 » Fri Jan 05, 2018 3:07 pm

brother - this isn't about her, stop making it a war. You need to get help for yourself and your child. That should be your focus. Otherwise, you will be a passenger in your own life and cede control unnecessarily.
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Re: Looking at a divorce...

Unread postby PerniciousLord » Fri Jan 05, 2018 3:38 pm

massdad1234 wrote:brother - this isn't about her, stop making it a war. You need to get help for yourself and your child. That should be your focus. Otherwise, you will be a passenger in your own life and cede control unnecessarily.


I realize that. That's what I'm doing. That's why I am going to get therapy. I am simply mentioning those texts because they are hopefully evidence that the protection order is unwarranted. I have to get past that hurdle before I can do anything Divorce related.

At any rate, she has already tried to initiate a war by sending her mother after me, accusing me of negligence and the like.
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Re: Looking at a divorce...

Unread postby massdad1234 » Fri Jan 05, 2018 3:46 pm

you need to hire to defend yourself, don't short change that. This is your moment. You can work on you after you have this set aside. Borrow money, do whatever it takes because this is critical. Do not accept false charges against you.
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Re: Looking at a divorce...

Unread postby PerniciousLord » Fri Jan 05, 2018 4:46 pm

Yeah, I just signed a fee agreement with a team of lawyers out of Liberty, Missouri to help defend me on that, and to help me file for the dissolution before she can do so.
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