First day of school

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Re: First day of school

Unread postby Campfire » Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:24 pm

Chaos wrote:When do you expect her to be served?



There must be a lot of tables at that restaurant.
The List: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_divor ... hp?t=13374


The question is how much conflict you can control, negate, or avoid.
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Re: First day of school

Unread postby scoutdad » Wed Jan 03, 2018 10:17 am

I slept in bed with my 8 year old. He is gravitating towards me a bit as he can see the drama. We talked before going to sleep. He wants to go to school again but not today. I only focused on him tonight as he seems the most affected by far.
Last edited by scoutdad on Wed Jan 03, 2018 10:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: First day of school

Unread postby scoutdad » Wed Jan 03, 2018 10:18 am

Chaos wrote:When do you expect her to be served?


I was told as early as last Friday, possibly over the weekend or early this week.
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Re: First day of school

Unread postby mgtowthatish » Wed Jan 03, 2018 3:27 pm

scoutdad wrote:
Chaos wrote:When do you expect her to be served?


I was told as early as last Friday, possibly over the weekend or early this week.


Any of your friends can serve her. The only person who can't is you.

My pieces of advice, as I agree with most of what others have said.

1. First order of business is to shut your mouth, don't text, call, or email about anything other than the children. Keep it short and sweet.
2. Take your kids back to school immediately and keep them there. I can't imagine that the homeschool you describe your STBX teaching is doing them any good.
3. Ensure your children do not sleep in your bed with you. Your STBX could accuse you of being inappropriate with your kids.
4. You won't be perfect in this process, but NEVER communicate in anger. Collect information as others have said, and use it to your advantage. Primary focus is the custody you want and child support if there is any. Second is alimony and division of property.

Best of luck and keep your nose clean.
"Begin fashioning a life she will covet and will never have"
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Re: First day of school

Unread postby massdad1234 » Thu Jan 04, 2018 12:26 pm

OP - here is something I suggest. Try talking to the STBX about school

"Look, I understand that you have been a big part of raising these children, especially how hard you have worked and put though into their home schooling and your having the primary role in terms of their education will change. But the kids really want to go, I think it is a great experience for them to grow and learn about themselves and how to handle social situations to build on the framework established already and I think that we both agree that their education and independence is most important thing we nurture as parents together."

and then let her talk/listen to her blab on and on about how your the devil, blah zada zada zada. Listen to her deeply, because maybe she simply needs to feel that she has been heard before she moves her crazy on to something else. If you want to change the dynamic, if you truly want to move past this and get to a more productive co-parenting lifestyle, you will have to have an understanding. So why not make her feel you understand so you can explain your point of view and potentially influence her into allowing the kids to go. I have zero doubt in my mind she won't budge an inch unless she has felt understood.

I'm not condoning her childish behavior, i'm simply making a suggestion to think with the end in mind.
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Re: First day of school

Unread postby Havalu7 » Fri Jan 05, 2018 12:46 pm

Scoutie any update on her being served?

Your DAR is running well I trust?
"No." is a complete sentence.
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Re: First day of school

Unread postby scoutdad » Fri Jan 05, 2018 2:35 pm

Sorry I have had a stomach bug and my boys have too. I have been trying to talk to her about everything. I will be honest, as crazy as she is, I would consider working on things a bit longer. I am not perfect. I am meeting with someone from my EAP on monday night. My 8 year old made me a deal that he would try homeschool again for 2 weeks with mom working on her anger issues and she is getting counseling next week. He will then try public school for the rest of the month, which would work perfect for the timing of trial. If we cant figure anything out.

Yes she was served on Wednesday. It was ho hum until today when she actually looked at the docs. I asked for use of the house, joint physical custody with primary with me and periods of placement with her. My lawyer said we needed to ask for child support as if we dont now, we cant down the line. Needless to say when she saw these things, she has been texting and crying and swearing all morning today. Its alot to take in I am sure. She said if I withdraw the suit, immediately, we can work thru this. I told her I think she and I need a few counseling sessions before anything happens.

Not that I want her scared but I am glad she is seeing that her fantasy of keeping her life the same and me getting EOW isnt something I wont fight. She is terrified of losing it all.
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Re: First day of school

Unread postby Havalu7 » Fri Jan 05, 2018 2:51 pm

Of course she is
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Re: First day of school

Unread postby massdad1234 » Fri Jan 05, 2018 3:04 pm

keep thinking you know what she is doing and why eh? You need to think of the kids needs first. She is constantly trying to wear you down and control you.
scoutdad wrote:She said if I withdraw the suit, immediately, we can work thru this.

Also your lawyer is an idiot, unless you are taking legal advice from your STBX
scoutdad wrote:My lawyer said we needed to ask for child support as if we dont now, we cant down the line.
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Re: First day of school

Unread postby Chaos » Fri Jan 05, 2018 3:39 pm

You can work on it while the suit is pending. Don't withdraw.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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