This Woman is Insane

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Re: This Woman is Insane

Unread postby Euronymous » Sat Dec 16, 2017 10:16 am

I have my DAR recording every moment she's in the house. I was doing this even before my attorney recommended that I do the same, to help protect against a false DV charge. STBX's attorney warned mine that it is illegal for me to record, as we live in a dual-party state. My attorney said keep recording.
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Re: This Woman is Insane

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sat Dec 16, 2017 10:22 am

My attorney has sent several very pointed "cease and desist" notices to her
I’m curious, did your attorney actually use the phrase cease and desist in the Family Law setting?
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Re: This Woman is Insane

Unread postby Euronymous » Sat Dec 16, 2017 10:52 am

BartSimpson wrote:
My attorney has sent several very pointed "cease and desist" notices to her
I’m curious, did your attorney actually use the phrase cease and desist in the Family Law setting?


No, he did not. Not sure where I got that.
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Re: This Woman is Insane

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sat Dec 16, 2017 11:06 am

Right. It’s a business term - you tell a business to Cease and Desist, you tell a person to Stop.

I’m with Trevor on this - your attorney is not an authority to the mother and it’s rediculous to be sending her Angry Lawyer Letters.

Did the Judge specifically and directly tell the mother not to make disparaging comments about you in front of the children?
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Re: This Woman is Insane

Unread postby Euronymous » Sat Dec 16, 2017 11:20 am

BartSimpson wrote:Right. It’s a business term - you tell a business to Cease and Desist, you tell a person to Stop.

I’m with Trevor on this - your attorney is not an authority to the mother and it’s rediculous to be sending her Angry Lawyer Letters.

Did the Judge specifically and directly tell the mother not to make disparaging comments about you in front of the children?


The order is not unilateral and applies to both parties, but the judge wrote in her order from the 11/27 hearing: "Both parties are restrained and enjoined from making derogatory or alienating remarks about the other party in front of the children."
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Re: This Woman is Insane

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sat Dec 16, 2017 11:31 am

Understood.

In your State is something called The Judge’s Bench Book, you should google for it. It will describe the necessary elements to contempt.

Violating the order itself is not contempt. She must willfully and intentionally disregard the Judge’s direct and specific order, in this case to not disparage you. What that means is your first trip to court over this will only result in the Judge’s stink-eye and a finger-wag telling the mother to not do (whatever) or she will be in contempt.

That’s why all these letters from your attorney are so useless, because through those letters, you already have paid for what the court costs will be to haul her in to be told not to do it.

The Court can compel compliance, but cannot compel cooperation - and the Court knows this. You need to know it, too.
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Re: This Woman is Insane

Unread postby dad2grls » Sat Dec 16, 2017 12:49 pm

Why do you suppose she's so angry with you?

Was the divorce mutual?

Was there infidelity? If so who stepped out?
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Re: This Woman is Insane

Unread postby Euronymous » Sat Dec 16, 2017 1:48 pm

dad2grls wrote:Why do you suppose she's so angry with you?

Was the divorce mutual?

Was there infidelity? If so who stepped out?


She is a very angry woman, and has been long before we decided to divorce. No infidelity.
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Re: This Woman is Insane

Unread postby Euronymous » Sat Dec 16, 2017 2:32 pm

The Court can compel compliance, but cannot compel cooperation - and the Court knows this. You need to know it, too.


Right, I can spend $1,000 in legal fees to bring a Motion for Contempt, and I know very well that this will do nothing to abate her abuse.
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Re: This Woman is Insane

Unread postby Euronymous » Sat Dec 16, 2017 11:09 pm

scoutdad wrote:It's very important you have an area you can go to that gives you some space. I have to avoid common areas like the living room since she is always around it. If she is the kind that follows you yelling as you move around the house start looking doors. It's what I have to do now. And be careful if she tells you she wants you out as she will get desperate as her efforts fail. I keep 2 recorders going as I don't trust 1 not to fail.


I've been ruminating on this advice this evening, and I think it is key. My emotional well-being is suffering substantially as this crazed woman stalks me through the house screaming and harassing me whenever she's home. I need to establish a "safe harbor" where I can get away behind a locked door. The only option is the bedroom that I moved into downstairs when we separated. I need to furnish the room with a pair of headphones and a laptop computer, and when she's in a rage, I retreat, lock it behind me, and tune out. She'll remain outside the door feeding the kids with her wild ideas of what a bad person I am, but I cannot control this and must let it go.
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