Noob looking for advice

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: Noob looking for advice

Unread postby flyboy0317 » Fri Jan 05, 2018 10:39 pm

BartSimpson wrote:Yes, you require an expert witness to report on the results of any evaluation.

Do you entrust the children to the mother’s care now?

Well yes, we still live together and my job takes me away from home on average 15 days a month so....
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Re: Noob looking for advice

Unread postby BartSimpson » Fri Jan 05, 2018 10:44 pm

And that ends any debate right there. You trust her enough now to care for the children, you can trust her to care for the children after the divorce.
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Re: Noob looking for advice

Unread postby massdad1234 » Sat Jan 06, 2018 4:54 pm

OP - seems like you are at risk of losing 50/50 and you have a potential high conflict divorce on your hand. What is your strategy to get a 50/50 shared parenting plan? Confessing the sins of the mother is not a sound strategy. Have you read the list and are you making one of your own?

How does she get money? Who controls finances? What is the story on the marital home? owned? lease? what is the current status?
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Re: Noob looking for advice

Unread postby flyboy0317 » Sun Jan 07, 2018 1:15 pm

massdad1234 wrote:OP - seems like you are at risk of losing 50/50 and you have a potential high conflict divorce on your hand. What is your strategy to get a 50/50 shared parenting plan? Confessing the sins of the mother is not a sound strategy. Have you read the list and are you making one of your own?

How does she get money? Who controls finances? What is the story on the marital home? owned? lease? what is the current status?


Mmmmh, and why would I be at risk of losing 50/50? Again, you seem to be the only one that thinks that I am the problem...

High-conflict divorce? Yes, but not because of me....

Not confessing anything, simply putting forth facts. That seems to be standard practice in my type of situation from what I have read.

I have my own bank account since 2015 for reasons that were initiated by my wife. She works and keeps her money and pays for electric among other things, i.e. food etc., she could not afford to live on her own though. I provide the majority of the funds being the major bread-winner and pay the rent, cable, her auto loan and for food and other things. Currently renting.
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Re: Noob looking for advice

Unread postby massdad1234 » Sun Jan 07, 2018 2:37 pm

putting your guilt and insecurities to the side for a second, why are you at risk for losing 50/50?

You pay all the bills, are gone at least 50% of the time if not more and your STBX is still able to work. There is a history of you defering all major parenting decisions to the mother and your entire strategy is to bash her and claim her complete incompetene as reason why she doesn't deserve primary care provider designation.
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Re: Noob looking for advice

Unread postby flyboy0317 » Mon Jan 08, 2018 8:19 pm

massdad1234 wrote:putting your guilt and insecurities to the side for a second, why are you at risk for losing 50/50?

You pay all the bills, are gone at least 50% of the time if not more and your STBX is still able to work. There is a history of you defering all major parenting decisions to the mother and your entire strategy is to bash her and claim her complete incompetene as reason why she doesn't deserve primary care provider designation.

WTF? I DEFER all major parenting decisions to my wife?? Did you read every single word I wrote or did you just skim that sh*t? You are seriously out of touch with what is going on here and I have no interest whatsoever in listening to anymore of your drivel. Told you that already, which you obviously didn't read EITHER. You should not be on this board giving ANYBODY advice about ANYTHING and please stop posting on my thread, I have NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER in hearing anything you have to say.....
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Re: Noob looking for advice

Unread postby massdad1234 » Mon Jan 08, 2018 8:24 pm

and yet here you stand with 39 posts, all of them confessing the sins of the mother. I will admit, even in your long ramblings, you actually admit everything I just wrote. The point is, you can keep searching for the answer you seek online, or you could put the kids best interests first.

This forum is pretty lackadaisical, but there has been a recent push for empathy. I completely understand your position, which is what infuriates you because you obviously are projecting your insecurities onto others.

So you can either come here seeking for advice on how to put the children's best interests first, but to be completely tone deaf to what is really going on and blocking out anything that doesn't agree with your narrative sounds like a perspective problem. We will agree that you are not looking to consider any other perspective but your own, you simply are frusterated your position isn't being cosigned.
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Re: Noob looking for advice

Unread postby dad2grls » Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:03 pm

flyboy0317 wrote:I have no interest whatsoever in listening to anymore of your drivel. Told you that already, which you obviously didn't read EITHER. You should not be on this board giving ANYBODY advice about ANYTHING and please stop posting on my thread, I have NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER in hearing anything you have to say.....


If you read other threads that massdad1234 has posted on recently you will soon realize there are others who share your sentiments including me. In fact I just posted a day or so ago that massdad1234 does not reflect the tone of this board which is typically supportive in nature.
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Re: Noob looking for advice

Unread postby Chaos » Tue Jan 09, 2018 1:01 am

dad2grls wrote:
flyboy0317 wrote:I have no interest whatsoever in listening to anymore of your drivel. Told you that already, which you obviously didn't read EITHER. You should not be on this board giving ANYBODY advice about ANYTHING and please stop posting on my thread, I have NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER in hearing anything you have to say.....


If you read other threads that massdad1234 has posted on recently you will soon realize there are others who share your sentiments including me. In fact I just posted a day or so ago that massdad1234 does not reflect the tone of this board which is typically supportive in nature.


Interesting, considering between the two of you, only one of you has made an effort to help the OP.
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