Bearing it All

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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby BartSimpson » Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:06 pm

You need no further reason, no specific event. You have sufficient cause now. <— see the period?

You seem to want to prove something more than protect your children, to prove you will rescue the mother. Now is the time, wait no further.

Everybody is drowning, all souls will perish if you continue down this path. Save your children, the mother can save herself.

Let’s talk about what will happen immediately after you leave, cool?
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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby fisher_dad » Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:40 pm

ok. how would that play out?
Man that is a terrifying proposition leaving the marital home w/D4,7 like that.

I have accepted that NJ is in charge of her own destiny and without a willingness change it won't happen. Everything and everyone's behavior is not my fault.
You get what you put up with.

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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby BartSimpson » Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:47 pm

You don’t “pack up” to go to the shelter. They will provide you with what you need.

You put the kids in the car and tell her you’re going shopping, so she can take a nap. Then go to the shelter. They will instruct you from there.

The mother will explode, we get that, but it will unravel her enough to bring the attention you need to have her removed from the house and you return. She will either end up in jail or the hospital within 48 hours of you leaving. That’s her problem.

Personally, I’d make sure she had a small bottle of whatever available before you go shopping. That will give you hours to effect your plan.
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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby Campfire » Thu Dec 07, 2017 10:48 pm

Som,

Here's a throwback for ya:

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=65187



If you want more entertainment, check out my post history from day 1. You want an idea of how your situation "could" play out, mine is a possibility. As you will see, I packed up the kid and left. At some point, you have to put your kids before your fear.
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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby fisher_dad » Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:45 pm

E gads Camp. That's gnarly.
Point taken, and the uphill slope exhibited in your story...that's the fear right there and it's all too real.
I'm glad you made it and are sharing what you picked up on the way. It's overwhelming at times.

It's hard for me to do anything drastic while things are 'quiet,' I just see that hill rolling over on me if I misstep and the risk/benefit is everything. If the benefit is my kids safety I'm out immediately. While I'm in the house and things can be displayed as safe Im feeling trapped unless..
You get what you put up with.

The List: http:http://forum.mensdivorce.com//viewtopic.php?t=13374
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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby BartSimpson » Fri Dec 08, 2017 1:41 pm

Alright, let’s change what we can.

Starting with your username - rather than dimish yourself, why not be a *dad*-something.

Go to your user control panel, select your profile, do something else I can’t remember, and change your name to show how important your children are, Daddio!
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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby fisher_dad » Fri Dec 08, 2017 11:28 pm

I see what you're saying, but it's a bit of a miss on the reference to the fortune cookie factory in the flick 'The Last Dragon,' called sum dum goy. Not self hating though an ignorant young man's decision led me here.
One of those pop culture references right Bart Simpson?

I'm tight with my kids and really love the age where I'm still 'cool' that I keep hearing ends soon for D7. I'm going for the upset on that point but may need to work on my reference game.

Smells like booze tonight and damn she's mean(verbal only). If I could spare someone this...I will do my best to.
You get what you put up with.

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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby gamingdad » Sat Dec 09, 2017 1:39 am

Well, you sure look like a master to me...
READ YOUR PAPERWORK BEFORE SIGNING! IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS, ASK!
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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby Campfire » Sat Dec 09, 2017 8:20 am

Somdomguy wrote:E gads Camp. That's gnarly.
..



Here's one you probably didn't know. My Ex and I coparent successfully and attend events together for D8 at times. It took a couple years to get to that point.

Focus on you and the kids right now and let her do her. You're doing a great job so far so keep it up. I know it's difficult to just keep getting shat on by her when she's using. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sat Dec 09, 2017 10:05 am

It’s not a pop reference when you misspell it, and any basic first grader would see a self-depreciating slur with the result. Like your title, there is a lot going on inside your head that does not translate to the outside world.

Which leads to another serious issue, this isn’t a unique user name for you, Jim, and therefore it can be traced back to you here.
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