Court Consiliation Evaluator Biased.

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Court Consiliation Evaluator Biased.

Unread postby Dadwilling2fight » Thu Nov 23, 2017 9:40 am

Gentleman,
I am an unmarried father with two young girls who filed for custody in January and have been through everything so many dads on this forum have gone through with a high conflict ex so far and need help. I will keep it as specific as possible and provide more detail if needed so I don't mention every detail but the big picture.

Pennsylvania

When we separated I left the house at her demand, she refused all access to my girls threatening calling police until I hired an attorney and filed. 1st attorney was horrible, told me to agree to whatever time she would allow until the court process starts. Mediation and initial master hearing was a disaster. She told lies and made false accusations of me being a drug addict and alcoholic because I have got DUI 4 years ago and went to treatment at my attorney advice to show the court I am taking action to do the right thing.

They granted her an interim order with primary physical custody. Gave me EOW and a 2 hour < parenting time > once a week. They stipulated I see a therapist and provide her with monthly letters from Dr. with details of my treatment, compliance and my ability to care for my children. Which has never been an issue. I am a superdad like many others hear. They require I only drive a car with an interlock device in it. PENNDOT requires it for 1 year.

I comply with everything and she withholds our girls at will breaking our order to many times to count. Countless false police reports leads to a false PFA.

Fired 1st attorney after that hearing and found this forum in March. At the PFA hearing, with advice from attorney I agree to a temporary PFA for 120 days for both of us in exchange for 4 more overnights per month. Exchanges at police station.

More false reports and accusations from her. I hire a retired law enforcement officer to witness our exchanges to prevent false claims. He never approaches or says anything and stays 50 feet away. She has no problem with him and he was present 7 times until my ex demanded extra money from me, telling me if I refused, she have me arrested. During the next exchange she called police while in their parking lot claiming he intimidated and threatened her. They arrested me in front of my children, charging me with violating the PFA. The exchange was video recorded and charged dropped when they saw them. No repercussions for hear total lies to officers.

I filed custody contempt and modification. At the hearing, she brought her new Domestic abuse attorney and continued claiming abuse. The master spend 2 minutes with us before deciding not to hear my case until we complete a CCES evaluation. Still unable to present months and countless contempt and violations she has committed.

Eventually the PFA was withdrawn without prejudice. No hearing were she ever produced evidence of the initial claim.

She delayed the CCES process, cancelling appts and when it began. I met alone 1st, her next, 3rd with both of us and our girls in her office followed by 3 meetings with both of us. Her lies continued and the evaluator refused to look at emails. Texts, journals, video or audio of any kind. Basically her words and mine. The entire focus was on me having issues with alcohol and drugs despite never falling voluntary monthly drug testing and Dr. Notes. Nothing else was discussed because she kept bringing up that issue. Penndot restored my regular driver's license and I legally drive any car yet my interim order from March says otherwise and she refuses to make the change forcing I keep in installed paying 100 per month. The evaluator agrees with her.

The evaluator will make her recommendations within 45 days. She made it clear that she believes I need to continue provided her with everything she asks to prove my sobriety. I haven't had a drink in 4 years except once 2 and a half years ago and no drugs. Yet she was able to just say I am a raging drug addict and alcoholic and make it stick?

I am not minimizing the impact an addiction can have or my having the DUI but I have been powerless to stop anything she has done to lie and manipulate the system. I am unable to reduce the stipulations requiring me to remove the device and stop providing monthly letters. The issue for me is the costs incurred with those stipulations not providing proof of sobriety. I will pay for drug and alcohol testing at random if needed. I am forced to wait until the overall trial in front of a judge for my chance to be heard. I am worried I won't have the financial resources to make it that far and about status quo and everything else stacked in her favor.

I kept it as short as possible trying to include the major events for now.
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Re: Court Consiliation Evaluator Biased.

Unread postby BartSimpson » Thu Nov 23, 2017 9:49 am

Hello,

I understand from another post that you have been lurking for awhile. Thank you for posting. We should divide the several issues here, the accusation of *addiction* and the mother’s other behaviors.

Some housekeeping - how old are your kids?
What is the drug you are accused by the mother of using?
Are you taking any medication related - naltrexone or Antabuse?
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Re: Court Consiliation Evaluator Biased.

Unread postby Dadwilling2fight » Thu Nov 23, 2017 10:35 am

Our Daughters are 6 and 2. She has claimed I have used every drug you can think of in the past but no one specifically. Most of the time she just uses the phrase I don't believe he is sober. He knows how to pass a drug test? Her main claim is that I drank daily the whole time we were together and she went through 6 years of hell with me. When the reality is we both drank occasionally when we met and both stopped when our first girl was born. I would drink with her family on a rare football Sunday or holiday but never more than 2 or three total. No intoxicated in front of our girls or family. She told me before we split up that she would win in court by claiming I was an addict. At the time I didn't realize she learned the factors considered when deciding custody and found one she could manipulate.

I take no medication at all.
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Re: Court Consiliation Evaluator Biased.

Unread postby BartSimpson » Thu Nov 23, 2017 10:38 am

OK, I think I knows the root cause of all this garbage.

Did you, or do you, participate in a 12 step program?
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Re: Court Consiliation Evaluator Biased.

Unread postby Dadwilling2fight » Thu Nov 23, 2017 2:28 pm

I have in the past completing it with a sponsor and when asked if I attend AA meetings, I said yes and it was not brought up again. Admittedly, I don't attend them anymore for a few reasons. AA has helped countless people so I am not knocking it, my option only. I don't benefit from countless stories about everyone's horror stories or success stories and I do believe in God, not that only he can fix addiction. Lastly, I am able to stay sober without it. That being said, I have no problem doing anything asked of me to show courts. My ex or anyone who has influence over how much involvement I have with my girls.
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Re: Court Consiliation Evaluator Biased.

Unread postby BartSimpson » Thu Nov 23, 2017 7:23 pm

The disease concept is what I m concerned about.

You are correct, you can stay sober by yourself. You do not suffer from an incurable disease that can only be held in remission by divine intervention. Apparently you are dealing with persons who are into the disease concept.

That said, why are you consenting to these rediculous requests - they are not originating from the Court, they are the mother’s requests that you are agreeing to. Why?
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Re: Court Consiliation Evaluator Biased.

Unread postby Dadwilling2fight » Thu Nov 23, 2017 9:58 pm

I never agreed to it. When this began in January with my hiring an attorney and filing for child custody. I was clueless to how this process worked. I was recommended a "good" attorney and went into the consult with nothing other than " my ex broke up with me, kicked me out and won't let me see my girls." Sob sob, tear. I just want my family back, I love her, I love my kids" tear." I think its over though" help. The older female attorney said, " Don't worry, I will get your girls back" Me, "How long until I can get the courts to grant me custody rights, its been 7 days with no contact to them" Her, " a few months" Me. " It will take a few months? I can't imagine being able to wait that long"

The dialogue is mentioned to show how absolutely pathetic, clueless and unprepared I was walking into this process.

Until my initial hearing with the court mediator in March I did what this attorney told me and saw my girls when mom said I could and waited for my day.

Countless nights on internet searches reading articles about how to get back after separation, more than fathers child custody rights. Again, clueless and shocked, had not accepted reality.

During the hearing meant to help us agree, or recommend a temporary order until further hearings I spoke first and told my story, watered down as not to bash mom, " attorney recommendation" me a great dad,involved since birth, loving . Why I was seeking mom and I share kids equally. Etc.

My ex speaks and bashes me in every way with 90% of her testimony flat out unsupported lies. She wants full custody, dad can visit 2 days a week and kids will never sleep at dads house.

Custody master suggests we use attorneys to talk it out for a few hours and come back with something or she will make her own recommendations for the judge to sign until further hearings.

We can not agree and her recommended interim order was signed by a judge a week later. EOW and 1 < parenting time > per week and all those stipulations were put in place.

I was blasted into the reality of my situation and my research changed. I made the right internet searches and learned every I could about family courts. I found this forum and spent all my free time hear. Fired my attorney 36 hours after joining this forum.
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Re: Court Consiliation Evaluator Biased.

Unread postby dad2grls » Sun Nov 26, 2017 5:51 pm

Why does your soon to be exwife hate you so much?
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Re: Court Consiliation Evaluator Biased.

Unread postby Campfire » Sun Nov 26, 2017 6:44 pm

What's the deal with your side chick? You still together?
The List: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_divor ... hp?t=13374


The question is how much conflict you can control, negate, or avoid.
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Re: Court Consiliation Evaluator Biased.

Unread postby Dadwilling2fight » Thu Nov 30, 2017 1:16 am

Why do any of our ex's hate so much? I can't answer that.

I don't have a side chick? I am not sure where that question came from.
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