Reasons for STBX Dragging Out Divorce?

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Re: Reasons for STBX Dragging Out Divorce?

Unread postby steelmark » Mon Dec 04, 2017 9:02 am

You’re doing the right thing by driving the bus here, you patiently tried to settle and got nowhere.

It ain’t show friends, it’s show business.

On her windbag lawyer, just plain old flat out DGAF. OC in my case was a loudmouth bulldog asking for the moon & stars, belittling me, blah blah blah. I knew my goals were reasonable & attainable, so I just didn’t even care what OC said or thought about me, it was irrelevant.

I always looked the guy in the eye, shook his hand at the courthouse, and skipped my merry way to a good result.

Stay firm in your goals, be sure they are reasonable and attainable, and get it done.
Prepare and execute to win by a thousand miles, just to be in position to win by an inch.
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Re: Reasons for STBX Dragging Out Divorce?

Unread postby Trevor » Mon Dec 04, 2017 10:26 am

Snowblower wrote:...I had to replace all the things in the house she took...It was a goal by her to strip the house down...she still looks at the house as still hers and the things in it. She is keeping things in the house as leverage.
<snip>
Changed the lock codes the last two weeks however Friday was told by my attourney to change them back.......not worth it he says and the court order needs to go through.

I think your lawyer is a tool, based on what you said about your STBX. She has proven the risk to you and the peace and stability of your home that she poses.

Sure, she may be able to get in the house with a locksmith (or break-in), but until she does, the boundary isn't being challenged, and you are more secure.

If you have already filed a motion for exclusive use and possession of the home, and she knows it (via her lawyer), her decision to access the home without your consent would hardly be defensible. She moved out and removed her personalty from the residence. Her message is clear - this is no longer her residence.

Don't change back the locks.
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: Reasons for STBX Dragging Out Divorce?

Unread postby massdad1234 » Tue Dec 05, 2017 8:12 am

This is a strategy and tactics forum, which I would suggest your case needs a heavy dose of. What are you going to do?
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Re: Reasons for STBX Dragging Out Divorce?

Unread postby Snowblower » Tue Dec 05, 2017 10:29 am

Moving forward with what I outlined. Two docs being filed. The first one is the response to petition for dissolution in which we will get a court date set and the second is the response to the provisional orders for set parenting time and exclusivity to vehicles and house. That is the strategy. I do believe it is fair all things considered. What I am trying to get from the pros is what tricks is she going to try to pull out of her a$#? What at this point should I be working on in regards to mediation prep? Still trying to understand why she is sandbagging....
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Re: Reasons for STBX Dragging Out Divorce?

Unread postby Snowblower » Tue Dec 05, 2017 12:55 pm

Quick update, she just called and declared nuc war after receiving a phone call from her attorney just as I anticipated. I guess that lets me know I am doing the right thing.
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Re: Reasons for STBX Dragging Out Divorce?

Unread postby Campfire » Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:51 pm

Snowblower wrote:Quick update, she just called and declared nuc war after receiving a phone call from her attorney just as I anticipated. I guess that lets me know I am doing the right thing.



Have you heard the phrase, "Loose lips sink ships."?

When she called, what did you do? Is it safe to assume it went straight to VM...? This is the time to batten down the hatches and work your game plan.

You're doing good so far but I suspect you still need work on DGAF and radio silence. What say you?
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Re: Reasons for STBX Dragging Out Divorce?

Unread postby massdad1234 » Tue Dec 05, 2017 9:04 pm

why do you think her reaction signals progress?
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Re: Reasons for STBX Dragging Out Divorce?

Unread postby Snowblower » Wed Dec 06, 2017 11:21 am

Its a control thing and her reaction displays she feels she does not have it. There has been a long and ongoing false impression of "leave lawyers out, lets work something out together peacefully". She told me her lawyer was reviewing settlement documents and drafting a letter over some details. Her lawyer told mine that she was in the middle of drafting more orders for support and maintenance. I got my orders for parenting and exclusivity in first. This is a good thing.........she has to respond now.

The phone call thing has been fixed. She no longer calls and we finally have established email communication. First thing this morning I had a couple of emails from her in regards to parenting schedules for Dec and Jan.

Her plan is to deny imputing income to what she made 2.5 years ago $(20 vs 10) and to also establish she should be the custodial (controlled exspense) which I challenge because I already provide these items and will be providing uninsured healthcare costs through my HSA. To me it only makes sense but she is trying to figure out how much possible support she can get out of me.

Next?

Need to put a plan together for taxes and such this year and ongoing. Should I start a new thread?
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Re: Reasons for STBX Dragging Out Divorce?

Unread postby Snowblower » Thu Dec 14, 2017 9:15 am

Court was avoided. She signed a temporary stipulation with an agreed 50/50 parenting plan that included Christmas, exclusivity for me to the house, 2 vehicles and a restraining order on financial assets. The downside is that I have agreed to start paying maintenance and support to the tune of about $1800 a month until May this year. What I learned is that they were planning on already asking for backpay from the date she moved out of the house and I was told she would probably get this. Overall, I feel this was the right move even though probably a costly one. I now have kids and house secured, next is protecting assets and moving to mediation. OC is high conflict and is all about character attacks, not agreeing to any proposed mediators and being a pain.

STBX excuse for dragging is a number of things, lawyer conflict, been "too" busy and the just the fact of not knowing certain things financially. I still want to move this thing forward and end it quickly.
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Re: Reasons for STBX Dragging Out Divorce?

Unread postby Broken Machine » Thu Dec 14, 2017 10:53 am

Well done on the 50/50 parenting time. I know the support payments suck. When I was negotiating the temporary orders in my divorce, I saw OC propose 50/50 and jumped right on it immediately even though I had to pay $1500 a month. I did a real quick calculation and could make it work by the skin of my teeth. I could have tried to negotiate the payment but I wanted to snag that 50/50 proposed from the other side immediately. You said your monthly payments were for maintenance and support. Is the $1800 you are paying just the spousal support or does it include the calculated child support as well?
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