TRO Hearing Completed

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

TRO Hearing Completed

Unread postby Jnwaco » Sun Nov 12, 2017 1:46 pm

I thought I would post a brief update, as many of you provided me with helpful advice and took the time to answer questions that I had. We had the TRO hearing, which lasted nearly four hours. The judge issued the ruling two days later.

1) I have exclusive use of the primary residence.
2) My son stays here with me, and I can designate his place of residence.
3) STBX gets two visitations per week, three hours each.
4) Her boyfriend is prohibited from being around son at any time.
5) I pay her 2/3 of the amount of money I had been giving her each month prior to filing.
6) I continue to pay the bills I was customarily paying before (mortgage, auto, electric, etc.)

These are of course temporary until the final decree is final. I am pleased with the outcome and believe it better than fair.

I will now need to practice with the voice recorder as I have not communicated with STBX at all in five weeks, and she will need to contact me to schedule her < parenting time >. I do not expect her to be civil about it, unfortunately.

The journal I kept was not needed or admitted, at least through this phase, though I will continue as new evidence can always be admitted in any later hearings.

Again, I really appreciate the advice and the time you guys have given. Thank you all.
Jnwaco
50+ Posts
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Sat Oct 14, 2017 4:29 pm

Re: TRO Hearing Completed

Unread postby Trevor » Sun Nov 12, 2017 4:16 pm

With the TRO in place, depending on its restrictions, why would there be anything other than email communication?
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
Trevor
Moderator
 
Posts: 23423
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:55 pm

Re: TRO Hearing Completed

Unread postby massdad1234 » Sun Nov 12, 2017 5:11 pm

agreed, no need for in person contact/communication. I would say depending on how things are going, I would think Our Family Wizard might be a thought, keeps you protected.
massdad1234
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 1252
Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2016 8:34 pm

Re: TRO Hearing Completed

Unread postby Jnwaco » Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:57 pm

massdad1234 wrote:agreed, no need for in person contact/communication. I would say depending on how things are going, I would think Our Family Wizard might be a thought, keeps you protected.


Agreed. I’m not initiating any contact and do not plan to do so. It is up to her to ask to arrange times. I suspect she may not even contact me to schedule parenting time. And I’d prefer email anyways as it provides a trail.
Jnwaco
50+ Posts
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Sat Oct 14, 2017 4:29 pm

Re: TRO Hearing Completed

Unread postby Havalu7 » Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:12 pm

“Sounds important send me an email” is a preferred response to get her going in the direction of email communication exclusively.

Great update OP.

See you are getting out the shovel occasionally too and helping the new guys. Awesome!

You are well on your way to becoming a highly paid volunteer here yuk yuk.
”No.” is a complete sentence.

Do not move out of your house.
User avatar
Havalu7
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 1677
Joined: Wed Jan 27, 2016 10:43 am

Re: TRO Hearing Completed

Unread postby Jnwaco » Sun Nov 12, 2017 9:03 pm

Havalu7 wrote:“Sounds important send me an email” is a preferred response to get her going in the direction of email communication exclusively.

Great update OP.

See you are getting out the shovel occasionally too and helping the new guys. Awesome!

You are well on your way to becoming a highly paid volunteer here yuk yuk.


The great advice keeps coming. Will use that one for sure. Email is definitely easier for me because you can think quite a bit before hitting “send”. Yes, I was very nervous about the outcome. So now just focusing on being the best dad, running a tight ship here at home, and documenting it all just in case. Hopefully, something similar will be the final outcome, but we’re now going to test whether or not stbx is willing to come to the table, or whether she wants this to go the whole way through court hearings.

Happy to help out where I can, but I’m the novice here!
Thanks again.
Jnwaco
50+ Posts
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Sat Oct 14, 2017 4:29 pm

Re: TRO Hearing Completed

Unread postby Jnwaco » Wed Nov 15, 2017 4:01 pm

Another bit of update, and I debated starting a new thread...

STBX texted to ask for some time with our son. Of course I told her her time was fine and she came and picked him up. Upon returning, he was crying and upset because STBX told him I “tattled on her to the judge” and “got a lawyer and filed papers”.

In our county, there are general court orders that apply to ALL divorces which explicitly state that there is to be no discussion of the case with children. Of course, I told my attorney. This was her first time to even see our son in over five weeks.

Not sure how to document this outside the journal. But my son has been asking me to “tell the judge to let momma come home” for the past two days.

I’m not spending $1,500 on a hearing where I have no evidence and minors won’t testify anyway. Other than documenting this, not sure what to do. This really isn’t that surprising and I half expected this or worse. Thinking about pushing for supervised visits as part of my initial offer due to this. I don’t want her messing with my young son’s head, and of course, all I tell him is that mom is on another trip and he will see her again and that we both love him.
Jnwaco
50+ Posts
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Sat Oct 14, 2017 4:29 pm

Re: TRO Hearing Completed

Unread postby massdad1234 » Wed Nov 15, 2017 7:47 pm

"I'm sorry you had to hear that. Your dad and mom love him very much and they are working together to do what is best for him."

move on, document as well.
massdad1234
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 1252
Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2016 8:34 pm

Re: TRO Hearing Completed

Unread postby Havalu7 » Wed Nov 15, 2017 8:31 pm

“Take the high road, there’s less traffic.”

Roger Staubach
”No.” is a complete sentence.

Do not move out of your house.
User avatar
Havalu7
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 1677
Joined: Wed Jan 27, 2016 10:43 am


Return to Before and During Divorce Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: madalex, papabear3 and 11 guests