Response to Motion

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Re: Response to Motion

Unread postby Campfire » Sun Nov 12, 2017 9:58 pm

_ProudPoppa_ wrote:Although NJ makes a bit of a show about it all, she's a good mom. And I would tell the Judge that. But, I'm also a good dad. And I truly feel our daughter would benefit most by having both of us in her life equally. I just wish I could make her see this. But, like the rest of them, she has $$ in her eyes.



It's not about making your wife see this truth, it's about demonstrating it to the court. The GAL in my case specifically mentioned how unusual it was for both parents to state that the other parent is a good parent. Absent any real issues on the mom's ledger, make sure you tell the truth about the mother's parenting ability if asked by the judge. It's common sense around here but it's not that common in court. I couldn't believe the mudslinging I witnessed while waiting my turn with the judge.
The List: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_divor ... hp?t=13374


The question is how much conflict you can control, negate, or avoid.
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Re: Response to Motion

Unread postby _ProudPoppa_ » Sun Nov 12, 2017 10:38 pm

This was the first weekend apart, and she offered to FaceTime our daughter if I wanted. I figured if I didn't attemp to, she would tell the judge I didn't care to see our daughter. I guess I figured damned if I do, damned if I don't. But, point taken.

I don't care to drink too much. One beer makes me sleepy, 3 beers makes me feel bad tomorrow. So, she just filed some bs. I used to pour NJ a beer in a frosty mug, but I wouldn't have one for myself.

That's what is BS-- I don't drink! Maybe one beer on a hot day over the bbq.

As far as the military, I got out in 15 years ago! I was honorably discharged and recommended for re-enlistment. She knows nothing about my time in service. I choose to tell fun stories about those days. Not the ones about how hard it was.

We haven't been fighting. I had to talk to her a little while she was moving out. Just about "is that yours or mine?" I stayed in the kitchen. She moved stuff.

Actually, we've been more cordial now than in the last 3 months. But, I understand what you're saying. I guess I'm just trying to keep a businesslike courtesy/ etiquette. But I will stop the FaceTime.

Fwiw, I begged her to go to counseling with me. She refused. Said it was over. So I filed on her.

The only proof I have about questionable parenting on her part is keeping D1 out late sometimes. But, I don't have any mud to sling on her. This board seems to advise against that type of thing. And to promote positive co-parenting. Which is what I want.

Campfire thanks for your Imput. It's beyond helpful and insightful.
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Re: Response to Motion

Unread postby Havalu7 » Mon Nov 13, 2017 10:58 am

OP aren’t Camp and the other volunteers awesome.

You can see how they will help you in many more areas than just your divorce.

It truly is a Mens forum and the highlight is on the best interest of the kids; but the gents and auxiliary (whom have been kinda absent lately - hoping they all are well) will assist in any area for the most part.

Glad to see you taking the strategy here to heart and stopping most of the second geussing you were doing early on. Try not to do like I did for several years of my unhappy marriage and that was living and staying in “What could have been”. If you get sad about the past; take a second and acknowledge it that your are sad, then pick yourself up, shake the sadness dust off and move on maybe even saying to self “Self we are not going to stay here anymore”.

Good luck tomorrow and keep us posted on the results OP.
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Re: Response to Motion

Unread postby _ProudPoppa_ » Mon Nov 13, 2017 6:46 pm

My attorney just forwarded me an email from her attorney.

It said that his client wants to go to court tomorrow, however, we will reach an agreement. And that if we get there early we will get it done.

Anyone have thoughts? I'm guessing she will go 50/50 parenting time In exchange for more money.
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Re: Response to Motion

Unread postby massdad1234 » Mon Nov 13, 2017 11:21 pm

Have them send something for review. I would have your offer ready as well. If you don't know why you are going, then why go? I would also keep an eye on your attorney and manage that. That email probably cost your $250 and you got nothing out of it.
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Re: Response to Motion

Unread postby Havalu7 » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:24 am

Bro better be there regardless.

Don’t get faked out and then get docked for a no show.

I like massie’s idea of having a backup plan of your own. Don’t settle on the first step of the courthouse take it to the top and last step if you have too as they could be bluffers.
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Re: Response to Motion

Unread postby _ProudPoppa_ » Tue Nov 14, 2017 6:03 am

I'm definitely going to go to the courthouse today. I have some counter offers in my head, but I have no idea what they want to offer.

She knows I won't settle for less than 50/50 parenting time, so I'm basing things off that

Oh, we have a hearing scheduled for today, so,that's why I'm going. Temp orders.

And, luckily my attorney breaks down his charging by the 6 minutes.

Anyways, I'll update everyone in a few hours. Thanks for all your help!
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Re: Response to Motion

Unread postby Campfire » Tue Nov 14, 2017 8:13 am

In a negotiation, always be ready to walk away if you cannot come to favorable terms.
The List: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_divor ... hp?t=13374


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Re: Response to Motion

Unread postby _ProudPoppa_ » Tue Nov 14, 2017 10:08 am

We didn't even go into the courtroom. It was a quasi mediation. We had too many motions to squeeze into a a 30 minute timeframe. We will continue our 2-2-3 schedule. But, stbx INSISTS I get a psych evaluation. My attorney said "sure, my client will do it. But she has to pay for it."

Man, that's aggrevating . I don't mind doing it, really. I'm not worried. But, for her to to demand it is stupid. Her reasoning is that I'm "moody". I've told her that I get quiet because she annoys me, so i leave the room and stay quiet over there. As opposed to arguing with her. But, since she's a nurse, she knows for a fact I'm "depressed" and "suicidal". Seriously, sheesh.

I guess it's pretty telling that I haven't for one second missed her since she moved out.

Anyways, I think the lawyers are gonna try to hamme out some other stuff for us, then possibly do a real mediation.
And another court date in there somewhere.

Thanks again to everyone for the encouragement and help. I felt pretty confident today due to all the advice on this board
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Re: Response to Motion

Unread postby massdad1234 » Tue Nov 14, 2017 3:20 pm

you get a psych eval, she gets one too.

Ignore. if you need a psych eval, why are you doing shared parenting? This is a silly tactic. I would tell your lawyer to ignore, I would ignore.
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