Moving/spending money prior to filing for divorce/mediation

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Moving/spending money prior to filing for divorce/mediation

Unread postby jimbob12564 » Mon Nov 06, 2017 10:55 pm

So I never thought I'd be here after 18 years. But love was blind.

For starters I have a rookie question:
The spouse and I have agreed we should be divorced.
No one has filed any paperwork but we do have a contract from a mediator in hand with the intention of signing her up by Dec 1st. Most of our assets are in retirement accounts and the house. I have about $30k in cash too but the wife has nothing and has never been a saver.

So my question is this -
I know I can't hide money once we've filed but knowing what is coming up, am I in the wrong legally if I take a nice vacation in anticipation of being broke when its all done? I've been saving to go to Italy for years (like a $20k+ trip for a few weeks), and I don't want to end up paying something back or looking like I'm being unethical. We haven't signed anything and I like to think I'm just planning ahead but I don't want to end up in a bad spot. I was going to take the trip next year anyway. I may even take the kids and spend even more since I think I'll just have to give half the remaining cash away if I don't.

Again, I'm not trying to hide anything. I just don't want to lose the opportunity to do it because proceedings have started or one of us has filed paperwork. This would have been something like a 20 year anniversary trip but just a bit early. Now its potentially a 3 person trip (me and 2 kids) but no wife.
Thoughts?
jimbob12564
New
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2017 10:44 pm

Re: Moving/spending money prior to filing for divorce/mediat

Unread postby BartSimpson » Mon Nov 06, 2017 11:40 pm

Yes, you are allowed.
Volenti non fit injuria
User avatar
BartSimpson
20K Club
 
Posts: 26776
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:50 pm

Re: Moving/spending money prior to filing for divorce/mediat

Unread postby LovingDadof2 » Tue Nov 07, 2017 6:24 am

You are even allowed to run up your debt, but then again... so is she.

So be careful. Will STBX be spiteful that you and kids went on a long trip to Italy and left her behind? How will you handle the credit card payments for that new Mercedes she bought sitting in the driveway when you were abroad?

Only you know your STBX, but do unto others... Good luck OP.
LovingDadof2
100+ Posts
 
Posts: 178
Joined: Tue Apr 11, 2017 1:34 pm

Re: Moving/spending money prior to filing for divorce/mediat

Unread postby TripletDadNJ » Wed Nov 08, 2017 11:04 am

I literally just asked a lawyer this same thing. STBX and I plan on going through mediation but not until after the holidays so nothing has yet been filed / contracted. Don't want to go crazy but would like to upgrade my MAC laptop since I know I won't be able to afford it afterwards. Lawyer said it won't be an issue -- but as someone mentioned have to watch her spending as well.
TripletDadNJ
New
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 12:58 pm

Re: Moving/spending money prior to filing for divorce/mediat

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Wed Nov 08, 2017 11:06 am

You're married. You can do whatever you want with marital property.

It's a perk of marriage.


She can too.
User avatar
Fatheroffour
Moderator
 
Posts: 36574
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:37 am
Location: Top of the world

Re: Moving/spending money prior to filing for divorce/mediat

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Thu Nov 09, 2017 12:42 pm

jimbob12564 wrote:No one has filed any paperwork.....
Until someone files, you can spend marital assets any way you please. But be advised, she has the same privilege.

Once you file, marital assets are frozen - unless the court rules otherwise.

jimbob12564 wrote:.....am I in the wrong legally if I take a nice vacation in anticipation of being broke when its all done? I've been saving to go to Italy for years (like a $20k+ trip for a few weeks).....
In court, nothing prevents her from arguing dissipation of marital assets. If I were in her shoes, I certainly would.

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
Tom Kirkpatrick
5K+ Posts
 
Posts: 7631
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2005 11:31 pm
Location: Pacific NW


Return to Before and During Divorce Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: madalex and 12 guests