Update: She’s going for blood.

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Update: She’s going for blood.

Unread postby Tht1Guy » Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:23 pm

Ok, so I need some guidance on the matter.

1. had mediation. She came up with lies, etc. as expected. She told the mediator I am lying about her mental issues and told them “tell him to prove it”. I explained to the mediator that I have photos, texts, etc to prove otherwise. During mediation I brought up her nephew being molested, her not telling me where my son is with my concerns, and the perp still being invited to their residence and functions. The mediator questioned her and she admitted to him molesting and that she is living at her sisters where this perp has not come in contact with our son. The mediator then asked her was it true she brought the molestor to a theme park. Her response was “I didn’t know because my sister brought him.” So knowing that she knows this older boy molested her nephew, she continued to pay for his ticket and brought him along with the victim, my son, and her 6yr old niece. My attorney says that’s not going to go well for her. Child Court is next month for the hearing. What are your thoughts on this?

2. Her property: she wants in the house to take her belongings. Not only that she wants EVERYTHING! She wants everything down to pots, pans, spoons, rugs, shower curtains, bathroom supplies, blankets, bed, the kids outdoor toys, garden equipment, storage boxes, her wedding rings that she threw at me the day before she attacked me physically, etc. She also wants $5000 by next Monday in rent/deposits/healthcare bill when she lied about her deposit amount. Like really? I don’t have those funds as I’ve had custody of the kids and she has not paid a dime I’m child support.

3. We proposed she get a moving company to take the listed things not in question to avoid conflict and then to put it in a movers Pod in the driveway. She is now refuting and wants in the house. She is recommending a retired sheriff (her sisters boyfriend apparently) to over see the move and prevent conflict. There is a signed RO she agreed to that is a non-Clet to stay away from me, house, and job.

Any advice on 1, 2, and 3 would be greatly appreciated as I’m a bit concerned due to never going through this.
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Re: Update: She’s going for blood.

Unread postby massdad1234 » Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:29 pm

1. so you have your child in your care until that hearing right? If I knew my spouse was willingly putting my children around a known child sex offender, I would not wait to get permission or ask who what. It would be very clear and obvious that I don't tolerate any thing of the sort. FFS!!!!!!!! your child is at risk, this woman has physically assaulted you and put your son at risk with a known sex offender, WHO CARES ABOUT 2,3?

2/3 - you have a restraining order, if she trys to show up, call the cops and don't go outside!!

Dude, do you have benefits provided to you through work?
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Re: Update: She’s going for blood.

Unread postby Outis » Mon Nov 06, 2017 9:01 pm

1 - Learn to STFU. You told way too much information and showed your cards.

1a - Get a rubber band and snap it on your wrist every time you want to open your trap.

1b - What child court? We don't read minds.

2 - No.

3 - Also no.

Why are you asking after the fact? Are you opposed to planning beforehand?

Remember the 7 Ps - Proper Prior Planning Prevents Painfully Poor Performance. You're just getting the last two right now, soon to be three.
What am I to do with all this silence
Shy away, shy away phantom
Run away terrified child
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Re: Update: She’s going for blood.

Unread postby Campfire » Mon Nov 06, 2017 9:32 pm

Letting her in the house absent a court order...? Yeah, no.



Thatguy,

What would be your first thought if I told you I want to take everything out of your house? I'm not involved in a lawsuit with you and I promise I'm a good dude. So how 'bout it? Can I have everything? How about just a couple things? Just one thing...? Oh, and I'll take that $5000 too without even physically attacking you.


I'm going to assume the "we" is you and your attorney. Do yourself a favor. Run this stuff by us first for an educated and unbiased opinion. We only charge $Free.99. All we ask is that you continue contributing.

This idea about a non-LEO....no. Just no. You want an actual LEO doing a civil standby. You pay taxes. Use some of that tax money you pay out and only use LEOs for this exchange of property if you are foolish enough to proceed with it at this point in time. She thinks she can bully you. This is not a person you can negotiate with effectively at this time as your mindset is all screwed up.

When are you going to start taking the reins of this runaway stagecoach?
The List: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_divor ... hp?t=13374


The question is how much conflict you can control, negate, or avoid.
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Re: Update: She’s going for blood.

Unread postby massdad1234 » Mon Nov 06, 2017 10:44 pm

OP is too busy setting himself on fire to warm her from her hate.
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Re: Update: She’s going for blood.

Unread postby Tht1Guy » Tue Nov 07, 2017 1:56 am

Thanks for the replies guys. Man, I’m getting mentally ready for this. It’s on and I’m about fed up. I have a few things up my sleeve to make this flip very nicely. I’m learning that in this game, there is no “let’s be nice and work it out” garbage. Man, I feel like I’m morphing into this strategist battle ax. Emotional garbage has evaporated and left the building..

I’m with a buddy right now. I’ll respond back, most definitely...
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Re: Update: She’s going for blood.

Unread postby massdad1234 » Tue Nov 07, 2017 6:26 am

Bro, are you seeing a professional expert? Your compass is a little off right now, are you able to talk to someone who can help outside your normal circle? Do you have benefits provided through work?
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Re: Update: She’s going for blood.

Unread postby Campfire » Tue Nov 07, 2017 7:51 am

Tht1Guy wrote:Man, I’m getting mentally ready for this. It’s on and I’m about fed up. I have a few things up my sleeve to make this flip very nicely. I’m learning that in this game, there is no “let’s be nice and work it out” garbage. Man, I feel like I’m morphing into this strategist battle ax. Emotional garbage has evaporated and left the building..

..




Just remember, this is business. The more you treat this like a business transaction, the less money you will waste on attorney fees. Or you could dive down the rabbit hole and start enjoying a five figure monthly bill from your attorney (seriously).

Be firm. Be willing to do what's necessary to cement your place in your kid's life. Run things by this forum first unless it's an emergency. It's not about revenge anymore. It's about closing this deal on terms you can accept. You can be friends/coparent/frenemies/etc. after this is over. Right now it's simply focusing on what you and the kid needs, nothing more. Boot. To. The. Throat.

I will echo Massdad's advice of seeking counseling. Your friends and family will burn out from all of your stress relieving. Seek a professional. Your employer likely has an EAP program which provides highly discounted services. It did me good as well as countless other dads.
The List: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_divor ... hp?t=13374


The question is how much conflict you can control, negate, or avoid.
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Re: Update: She’s going for blood.

Unread postby Me_and_my_boys » Tue Nov 07, 2017 9:28 am

Tht1Guy wrote:My attorney says that’s not going to go well for her.


What exactly does this mean? How does your attorney plan to present this information to the court? What are the possible outcomes? Don't rely upon general statements. Ask the difficult questions.

Tht1Guy wrote: I have a few things up my sleeve to make this flip very nicely.


What are they?

Tht1Guy wrote:Man, I feel like I’m morphing into this strategist battle ax.


More strategy, less axe.
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Re: Update: She’s going for blood.

Unread postby MegaDad » Tue Nov 07, 2017 11:39 am

massdad said it and I will reinterate, if you know she is bringing a child sex offender around your kid, you need to withhold the child from her until your court date. No one will take your concerns seriously otherwise, and why would they? Allowing it is the same as condoning it.

The same is going to apply to her entering the home if there is an order preventing her from doing so. You allow her in and you are communicating that you are fine with it and the RO doesn't need to be in place. So this whole letting her in with someone who isn't active law enforcement AND has a potential conflict of interest? Hells no!
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