HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby FlyGuySLO » Mon Nov 13, 2017 4:42 pm

Good on you for doing your homework and citing cases, but I still don't get why not 50/50? Is the 55/45 in your favor? If so, then good on you again.
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Mon Nov 13, 2017 5:35 pm

Almost makes it sound like you wanted 55/45 because it was the minimum that is considered joint physical custody.

IIRC my state its 128 overnights that is considered joint physical custody. I wouldn't want 128 though just because it makes it joint. I want my 50%.
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby Broken Machine » Tue Nov 14, 2017 10:43 am

I agree, get the full 50/50. Don't do any minimums, do what is RIGHT. Hell, it's about the only thing a dad can get out of a divorce that is "fair and equitable". I won't lie, at first I thought I would get the EOW screw job when my divorce was starting. I had it in my mind that I was already defeated the moment STBX said she wanted a divorce. BUT...reading here and getting a lawyer educated me immensely (that and realizing that I cannot let STBX and her damn family have sole influence over my kids). Things have changed. If you have a shot at 50/50, go for it.

I will be honest about 50/50 as well. It still sucks and it is the best any parent can get as far as parenting time. When I say it sucks, I don't mean to < female dog > and gripe. It sucks because you have lost 50% of the time with your kids. I did not realize this until my temporary orders kicked in. I have a friend who is over 10 years divorced and still does the kid swaps. He told me that he still is not used to it. So don't make it even worse and agree to anything less than 50/50.
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby Cheatinganddivorce » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:52 pm

We went through mediation, and have now engaged our own lawyers. However, the whole process has somehow been exceptionally amicable so far. As suggested, don’t be deterred by the retainer fees, as you are making financial decisions that will impact the next 10-15 years of you life, and that is a very large some of money when discounted back to today.
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:56 pm

Broken Machine wrote:....."fair and equitable".
Be careful of term usage.

Depending upon jurisdiction, fair and equitable is not the same as "equal." Far from it.

Indeed, "fair and equitable is a broad term and, like a "sliding scale" (think, "false balance") can be twisted and/or otherwise manipulated to fabricate a variety of outcomes.

Tom
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