HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

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HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby tahoenv » Thu Nov 02, 2017 11:34 am

Facts of divorce

Husband
Age 45, employed at casino resort since 2007. Same 40 hour a week work shift since 2007. Receives gratuities and wage.
High school diploma and some college.
Husband has a prescription for Hydrocodone due to back surgery and two ruptured disks.
No criminal record. No DUI’s. No Felonies.

Wife
Age 38, Employed at major airline as a flight attendant since March 2016. Works 20 hours per week. The airline deems her 20 hours a week ‘full time’. Receives ‘per diem’
High school Diploma, 4 year degree and Masters degree.
No criminal record. No DUI’s. No Felonies.

Children - two
age 5
age 7.

Timeline
• Married 2010.
• Husband has had same job and shift since meeting wife in 2007. Wife was teacher from 2010-2012. Wife became stay home mom 2012-2016. Wife started working at airline as flight attendant 3/2016. Wife works weekends leaving Husband to be single father 3 ½ days a week since 3/2016.
• Wife last night of joint owned residence was 5/2017. Wife moved into her moms home at where she currently resides.
• Husband has kids 46% of week. Wife has kids 54% of week.
• Wife files Divorce complaint. Husband makes $95,000 a year and wife makes $15,000 a year. She is asking for full custody, $1400.00 child support and $1000.00 month spousal support. Wife claims husband is a drug addict and is unfit father. Both claims are untrue.
• Husband believes wife is willfully and intentionally underemployed being that she has a 4 year degree and masters degree and has taken a job as a flight attendant that pays her less than half or less than what she could make with her college degrees.
• Motion filed to have husband take a hair and urine drug test. If huband fails drug test, he will lose custody. If husband passes drug test wife’s lawyer will agree to roundtable mediation. No illicit drugs found in test. Tested positive for husbands prescription of Hydrocodone. Wifes lawyer reneged on roundtable mediation stating it was premature.
• Temporary stipulation agreed to by both parties, signed by Judge, and filed on with the court: Keeps custody schedule of kids being with husband 46% of time and wife having the 54% of time. $900 a month child support.
• Wifes lawyer serves husband with Interrogatories and Discovery.
• Husband refinances the house and is sole owner. Proceeds of roughly $118,000.00 currently sitting in trust with husbands lawyers office. Wifes lawyer states he would agree to a roundtable mediation after refinance. Refinance accomplished. Wifes lawyer then reneges again and states it would be premature.
• Husband retains a new lawyer.
• ‘Roundtable’ mediation session scheduled at wifes lawyers office is cancelled in the agreement wifes lawyer will provide husbands new lawyer a Divorce Decree offer by rountable date. No Divorce Decree offer has been received from wifes lawyer by roundtable date.
• Husband called Police Department because while the two children were in the care of wifes mother, she would not release the children to husband at the agreed upon time.
• Wife and husband believe they have come to terms on agreement to settle.
• Joint custody of kids.
• $100K pay out to wife from refinance of house.
• Husband and wife keep their own debt and cash in accounts.
• Husband and wife keep their own retirement accounts.
• Husband to pay $1100 child support per month.
• Husband will not pay any of wifes legal fees nor any spousal support.
Wife at last minute tells husband she need another $2500 for legal fees throwing the agreed deal into question.

As most of you have been through this divorce process, I never wanted to get lawyers involved. The wife went and got one of the most expensive lawyers in town that is extremely successful well know in town. CAN I PLEASE HAVE YOUR HONEST OPINIONS WITH MY SITUATION. Thank you in advance.
tahoenv
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Thu Nov 02, 2017 11:55 am

1) Settle parenting plan first and foremost. Don't agree to anything until you have a 50/50 parenting plan locked in. Because right now, opposing counsel has got you spinning your wheels in every direction imaginable. Locking in 50/50 will tilt the playing field in your favor.

2) STBX moved out. You should change the locks. You should also get Exclusive Use and Occupancy. That'll set you up for primary parent for school purposes; aka, playing field leveling.

The rule here is "kids stay in the marital residence." Just because you're getting divorced doesn't mean their lives should be disrupted as well. This is a best interest issue.

3) STBX's part time employment was a perk of marriage. Now that marriage is ending, that perk must end.

You need to build a well-orchestrated game plan. Read The List, then build a list of your own. You should be keeping a well-written journal and parenting tracker. You should also have a dedicated, digital recorder up and running any time you're around her. It'll be your only defense against phony DV charges.

http://forum.dadsdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=13374

tahoenv wrote:.....I never wanted to get lawyers involved.
Make no mistake Bro, you're gonna need an attorney. You want a litigator, not a moderator. The difference is huge.

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby Campfire » Thu Nov 02, 2017 11:58 am

It is impossible for her to work 20 hours a week and make only $1500 a month working for a major airline. Would you like to correct that portion of your statement? What do you mean by "work"? Do you understand how airline crew members are paid?


As to your complaint about being a single father 3 1/2 days a week, you confused about how divorce works. After you are divorced, you will be a single father 3 1/2 days a week if you get 50/50 custody.
Last edited by Campfire on Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.
The List: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_divor ... hp?t=13374


The question is how much conflict you can control, negate, or avoid.
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Thu Nov 02, 2017 11:58 am

What state?

You need a lawyer/litigator, like right now, its going to get messy real soon.
the funniest thing about this particular signature is that by the time you realize it doesn't say anything it's to late to stop reading it
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:15 pm

lovingfatherof2 wrote:What state?
OP's user name suggests Lake Tahoe, NV. Whether it's north shore or south shore, I don't know.

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby _ProudPoppa_ » Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:20 pm

Get a DAR ASAP!!!! It will keep you from acting crazy and protect when SHE acts crazy. Not having one should feel like your house in on fire while you're at work. Don't delay-- go now and get one!!!! Also, read this board religiously, and go deep into the archives. You have no idea how much you don't know and how far behind you might be. The less you know, the more she will be able to intimidate you with legal talk. The more you know the less it will affect you and you will have the confidence to navigate e this with success. Also... get a lawyer! Now!!!! I was lucky to ge a referral from another lawyer i consulted. And resign yourself to the fact that she's getting half of everything. That's just how It is. You'll sleep better at night.
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby _ProudPoppa_ » Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:27 pm

Don't settle anything before you settle parenting time. I met with several lawyers and talked about my daughter the entire time. The a male attorney saw how concerned I was about my daughter and referred me to his friend who LITIGATES in my county. He's pretty well known to the judges. My point is consult with several before you decide. You might get lucky like me. And my attorney is not "expensive". His office is old and is rates are mid level. But he's ready to battle. So am I. And you will be too!!!!!
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby tahoenv » Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:59 pm

what is a DAR?
tahoenv
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby tahoenv » Thu Nov 02, 2017 1:18 pm

My biggest question is this:

Should i settle or should i fight for what i think is my wife being willfully and intentionally underemployed? do i have a shot proving she took a job with the airline paying her $30-35K a year when she could be using her masters degree and could be making $60-70K a year. thus offsetting the disparity in child support she is seeking?
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby _ProudPoppa_ » Thu Nov 02, 2017 1:43 pm

DAR is a digital audio recorder. Spend 80$, and walk around confident. It could save your whole case/life. It's about the same cost as 20 minutes of your attorney's time. A Bogus DV charge will cost thousands to fight!

They can impute your wife's income, possibly. Ask your lawyer. As far as her masters degree, possibly they could do an evaluation that see what she "could" earn. If she has no recent history of higher earning you maight be out of luck. Ask your attorney. It's easy to focus on $$/support payments right now. I certainly was scared of it. But lock down 50/50 parenting first. One less MAJOR concern to have. Plus, it will lower C/S.

In the mean time cut her off financially. It will force her to work more (hopefully) which will be good for you.

Keep reading and posting. You can this and we will help you!! But, follow the advice on here. It's a must.
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