HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby FlyGuySLO » Mon Nov 13, 2017 4:42 pm

Good on you for doing your homework and citing cases, but I still don't get why not 50/50? Is the 55/45 in your favor? If so, then good on you again.
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Mon Nov 13, 2017 5:35 pm

Almost makes it sound like you wanted 55/45 because it was the minimum that is considered joint physical custody.

IIRC my state its 128 overnights that is considered joint physical custody. I wouldn't want 128 though just because it makes it joint. I want my 50%.
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby Broken Machine » Tue Nov 14, 2017 10:43 am

I agree, get the full 50/50. Don't do any minimums, do what is RIGHT. Hell, it's about the only thing a dad can get out of a divorce that is "fair and equitable". I won't lie, at first I thought I would get the EOW screw job when my divorce was starting. I had it in my mind that I was already defeated the moment STBX said she wanted a divorce. BUT...reading here and getting a lawyer educated me immensely (that and realizing that I cannot let STBX and her damn family have sole influence over my kids). Things have changed. If you have a shot at 50/50, go for it.

I will be honest about 50/50 as well. It still sucks and it is the best any parent can get as far as parenting time. When I say it sucks, I don't mean to < female dog > and gripe. It sucks because you have lost 50% of the time with your kids. I did not realize this until my temporary orders kicked in. I have a friend who is over 10 years divorced and still does the kid swaps. He told me that he still is not used to it. So don't make it even worse and agree to anything less than 50/50.
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby Cheatinganddivorce » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:52 pm

We went through mediation, and have now engaged our own lawyers. However, the whole process has somehow been exceptionally amicable so far. As suggested, don’t be deterred by the retainer fees, as you are making financial decisions that will impact the next 10-15 years of you life, and that is a very large some of money when discounted back to today.
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:56 pm

Broken Machine wrote:....."fair and equitable".
Be careful of term usage.

Depending upon jurisdiction, fair and equitable is not the same as "equal." Far from it.

Indeed, "fair and equitable is a broad term and, like a "sliding scale" (think, "false balance") can be twisted and/or otherwise manipulated to fabricate a variety of outcomes.

Tom
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Thu Dec 07, 2017 12:12 am

FlyGuySLO wrote:.....but I still don't get why not 50/50? Is the 55/45 in your favor.....
I was puzzled by this as well; "Why not 50/50??" Then I read the Rivero opinion:

http://scholars.law.unlv.edu/cgi/viewco ... text=nvscs

The court noted that this modified (Wright child support) formula furthered the child’s best interest by equalizing the parents’ standard of living and thus courts should be cautious about reducing the amounts of child custody.

My understanding of this is that the court reserves authority to manipulate parenting time (like a sliding scale) and calculate child support accordingly, all in an effort to equalize post-divorce standards of living for both parents. The court calls this "best interest."

Some call it reverse engineering. I call it judicial sleight of hand, and/or otherwise playing field levelling.

Tom
Last edited by Tom Kirkpatrick on Thu Dec 07, 2017 12:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby FlyGuySLO » Thu Dec 07, 2017 12:34 am

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:[

Some call it reverse engineering. I call it judicial sleight of hand.

Tom


I agree.
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby tahoenv » Wed Dec 20, 2017 10:43 pm

To all on this thread. STBX and I went to our first court date today. In Nevada it’s called a Case Management Conference. Here is an update of my case.

CUSTODY: STBX and I both agreed in front of the judge to temporary Joint Physical Custody and the temporary schedule.

CHILD SUPPORT: STBX wanted the full amount of child support allowed of $1400 a month. We argued that STBX works 20 hours a week where as the husband (me) works 40 hours a week and that we want the judge to impute 20 more hours to STBX income to put child support at $1000 per month. The judge said he cannot do any imputations without an evidentiary hearing. The judge granted STBX temporary $1400 child support per month.

SPOUSAL SUPPORT: STBX wanted $1000 per month spousal support. The judge granted STBX temporary $250 a month spousal support.

LEGAL FEES: STBX wanted $7500 for legal fees. The judge granted STBX $2000 for legal fees.
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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby Campfire » Wed Dec 20, 2017 10:45 pm

What's the "temporary" scahedule"?
The List: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_divor ... hp?t=13374


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Re: HELP! Im in the middle of divorce and need input.

Unread postby tahoenv » Wed Dec 20, 2017 11:10 pm

dad has kids Saturday 8a to Tuesday 12p.
mom has kids Tuesday 12p to Saturday 8a.
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