MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

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MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby massdad1234 » Wed Nov 01, 2017 2:33 pm

Continuation of : http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=78775
Highlights:
State: MA
Married: less than 10 years
Filed: March
STBX still in marital home, staying in guest room.
DVR running 24/7

Children - between 2 - 10 years old

STBX works part time, i earn 4-5x as much

Custody goals: Primary parent - Kids and I stay in marital home, school based parent, RoFR. STBX with supportive parenting plan schedule. Joint legal.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby massdad1234 » Wed Nov 01, 2017 2:41 pm

Had court today and locked in the marital home. We split the assets/debts 50/50,

The judge made known in no uncertain terms that the house would be ordered to be sold. Not ideal for the kids since they have a pretty good thing going here and I can swing it without her. I felt it better to lock in the martial home as a strategic advantage.

I feel strongly that day-to-day history, documentation, and focus on superdad, not negative mom will put me in a position to put together a strong maintaining status quo and best interests of the kids to move forward with essentially a shared parenting plan allowing both parents to have school and weekend parenting time.

With a easily verifiable history of performing all grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, morning routine, school activities, after school/sports activities, dinner and night time routine for the past 20 months come Trial, I'm not excactly sure what the STBX's claims are going to be.

I have propsosed a 2 week schedule that equals a 4/3.

Overnights:

Week 1
Mother: Monday, Tuesday
Father: Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Week 2
Mother: Monday, Tuesday
Father: Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
Mother: Saturday, Sunday

Alternate weekends.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby Trevor » Wed Nov 01, 2017 10:29 pm

A refi into your name only is taxed and processed as a sale. Be first in line to buy the house.
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Wed Nov 01, 2017 11:45 pm

In terms of buying her out, is she willing to sign a Quit Claim and hold a second mortgage for her interest on the house??

Tom
Like football, family court is a game of inches. A John Madden strategy
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby massdad1234 » Thu Nov 02, 2017 7:14 am

Wife is not on mortgage or deed, does that change things? Appreciate the suggestions Trev/Tom, just not sure i fully understand. Because of the VA loan, my thoughts are to reduce interest rate and carry a second.

on a side note, it is funny to see the cogniaive dissonance being spewed my way. While some of the list is outdated, one thing that clearly isn't is "the other side is everyone but you".

I had a call from a family member that has known me my whole life and someone i have invested a lot of time and love into. The gist of her phone call yesterday was that while I am a good dad, she couldn't envision a reality that because of the situation, the kids might stay more with dad than mom. She simply couldn't get herself to consider that perspective. It was either the kids were with their mom the majority of the time or they were in the streets. She simply belives the STBX is entitled to benefits she enjoyed as part of the marriage, which we are in the process of ending.

She also attempted to guilt trip me into paying for her to pick up new skills for a better earning career. When all else failed, when they couldn't warp their biases and confirm their narrative, they responded with personal attacks. Sad, but not unexpected due to this forum and the list.

Whenever i encounter these things, i also respond with, so you think its in the kids best interests to see their dad 50 days a year? Because that is what the STBX has been propsing this entire time and is why we have gone on as long as we have..
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby LovingDadof2 » Thu Nov 02, 2017 8:23 am

massdad1234 wrote:Wife is not on mortgage or deed...

Mass, I don't understand. If STBX is not on either of these things, why did judge order to be sold? For her equity portion? Did the judge give you the option to buy her equity out after receiving a fair market value (via appraisal(s)) rather than selling on the market?

You can ask for a RoFR for the property, giving you the opportunity to always be highest bidder... but by bringing it to market, you risk a high bid to compete with.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby massdad1234 » Thu Nov 02, 2017 8:57 am

Yes, judge essentially said figure out the house or it would be ordered to be sold. I am of the position that keeping the marital home and ability to provide the least amount of disruption to status quo (there is no getting around the fact that the STBX will no longer be living here), and am supportive of their relationship with their mother. Between their activities, community and proximity to their elementary school, my work flexibility, day-to-day involvement, I will take my chances with any judge who so far has been pretty pragmatic. That is why I made the call to lock in that I keep the marital home.

The judge and our agreement has essentially said that legal fees are our own, so whatever funds the ex gets now is deducted from her side of assets post signature. Yeah it sucks to jump through hoops but that is merely a footnote in locking in the parenting plan putting the kids interests first and taking advantage of both parents work schedules while creating as little disruption as possible to the children's routine.

If the judge is somehow going to rule against that, there is not much else that could be done. The STBX has been offering essentially every other weekend, clearly doesn't support my relationship with the children and is basing her entire case off the fact that she can work part time and maintain the standard of living even though she is working essentially full time and our youngest child is will be in K in less than 21 months. I see no reason why the children's lives should be turned upside down simply because thinks she is entitled to work part time, and that I need to give her money to support our children when I can easily support that directly as I currently have been.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Thu Nov 02, 2017 11:32 am

massdad1234 wrote:Wife is not on mortgage or deed.....
Was the house purchased during marriage?? How long have you lived there??

massdad1234 wrote:I had a call from a family member that has known me my whole life.....
It takes a divorce to find out who your friends truly are.

Rule of thumb = Divorce separates the sheep from the goats.

Tom
Like football, family court is a game of inches. A John Madden strategy
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby massdad1234 » Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:06 pm

Tom - yes, house purchased during marriage, it will be over 2.5 years once divorce is finalized.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:17 pm

Unless she agrees differently, 50% equity is hers.

In ballpark numbers, how much are we talking about?? Can you buy her out??

BTW - Keeping the house is a huge advantage. Well done.

Tom
Like football, family court is a game of inches. A John Madden strategy
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