MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby dadforever » Sun Dec 31, 2017 6:24 pm

Just going over your thread...you say you 'locked in' the marital home...

what exactly did you mean by that? Are we talking about a temporary stipulation? If you have it locked in, why hasn't she moved out yet?
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby massdad1234 » Sun Dec 31, 2017 8:07 pm

buyout, I keep the house, she is contesting parenting plan.

She will have to make a case why the current status quo needs to be turned on its head, and how that is in the kids best interest. My thoughts are her plan is just to bash me. Because status quo shows the kids have already adjusted to mom not being around at least half the week after school, dinner and bed time. She will also have to lay out how she can do that while working nights and weekends.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby dadforever » Sun Dec 31, 2017 8:23 pm

massdad1234 wrote:buyout, I keep the house, she is contesting parenting plan.


How exactly is it worded? Logistics matter A LOT in your case, imo.

A couple of other things:

1. I love your idea of having a poster detailing your parenting time. But something to keep in mind is that depending on what type of hearing you are next having, the Judge very well might not allow your exhibit. Talk to your attorney about this.

2. Your wife works PT; therefore as BS as it may be, she may have her own argument for status quo (making her the primary parent and bumping you out). This isn't a slam dunk for you and in fact you may be at at a disadvantage. This depends largely on the Judge and the skill of your attorneys.

3. Have you watched hearings with your Judge? If you haven't, you need to do this.

4. You are starting to get it. You aren't just up against your wife, but you are also up against the feminine imperative. Unfortunately it's dug into the fabric of modern day society. Dont underestimate what you are up against, but don't quit, either.

IMO you need to find a way to get your wife out of the house AND get her working full time.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby massdad1234 » Sun Dec 31, 2017 11:01 pm

she is working close to full time. I handle all primary duties and can articulate that with or without visuals. I simply am going to make a better case in my opinion, a case in which the decision is easy for the judge. Maintaining status quo. I see no reason to interrupt status quo just because we are getting divorced. I also think being the plaintiff and having a visual will be an edge - shows the judge how serious I took this and the fact that I won't disparage the mother.

Under my proposal, we continue as things are. She already works close to 40 hours per week, so for her to get to full time isn't much of a stretch. How can she claim that even though at least 50% of the time she isn't even home for dinner/night time routine, all of a sudden things should change? However, the sisterhood got a hold of her and she sees $2,400/month of income she can't let go.

I have seen the judge in action, she is no nonsense, and I believe my chances are best with her.

My lawyer does know about the visual and has already provided it to OC. I have also made copies of my signing off on my oldest's homework for the past 2 years.

Her position is more than likely going to be the kids belong with their mother and their dad is an animal.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby dadforever » Mon Jan 01, 2018 10:02 am

Ok- you sound prepared. That's good. Criticisms/suggestions:

1. If the Judge is going to allow your exhibit, why not supplement it with some other proof that your wife is not home 50% of the time for dinner?
2. Have you seen the Judge order 50/50 custody? Have you seen the Judge award custody to the man? Judges can be very subtle and sly. I know I've mentioned this to you before, but there are many in the State of MA that almost never give men 50/50 or primary. You need to know if your Judge is or isn't in that category. I do hope you have a good Judge.
3. Your case is probably a winner if you can find a way to get your wife out of the house. Is that possible at all? Can you maybe bribe her to go?
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby massdad1234 » Mon Jan 01, 2018 10:31 am

1. Proof - Her work/time card.
2. I'm not going for 50/50, i'm going for primary.
3. She wants $2400/month in child support, no way was she moving out until court ordered.

We settled assets with me keeping the house. She will have to say why the kids should be uprooted from their current status quo, one in which her hours/work isn't settled defined, no living arangements in current school district, works nights and weekends and hasn't been the primary parent for almost 2 years yet all that is in their best interests.

She has only offered at best 3 days a week because she knows if we stick to status quo, she will have to support both herself and her children. She has countered my latest offer with every other weekend. She is in striaght denial.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby dadforever » Mon Jan 01, 2018 7:45 pm

I think you did the right thing by locking in the marital home. Great job going against the grain in order to level the playing field. Look for opportunities now that you've done that. If she loses her temper and assaults you, press charges! That was the biggest mistake I made in my case- please learn from me.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Mon Jan 01, 2018 10:16 pm

Bobby5000 wrote:Judge probably suggests house be sold because 1) it's administratively easier, sell then split up the proceeds, and 2) it can put some pressure on the parties to settle.
Actually, option #3 is correct. Selling the house levels the playing field in NJ's favor.

Here's the deal: Mortgage and deed are in OP’s name; an unfair advantage. Ordering the house sold would eliminate that advantage. Keep in mind, MA is tough on dads. And playing field leveling is what the judge had in mind all along.

Think about it: Even though massdad can afford to buy NJ out, "Why would the judge order the house sold??" For that matter, with the exception of playing field leveling, "Why should the judge care if NJ agrees to a buyout??" One would think the judge is a party in this matter.

Q: Would selling the house pressure OP into settling to NJ’s unfavorable terms??.....namely EOW??
ANS: Probably.

IMHO - Status quo notwithstanding, without the house, OP has little or no chance of becoming primary parent. Well done, massdad.

My 2¢

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby massdad1234 » Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:15 pm

its show time this week, thanks dadforever, tom for the positive energy. We shall see. I will sink to my level of preparation.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:16 am

massdad1234 wrote:Its show time this week.....
Take care of yourself, Bro. Eat balanced meals, get plenty of exercise, and get plenty of rest.

Never lose sight of the fact that you get exactly one chance to get this right. They may not realize it now, but your kids are counting on you.

Tom
Last edited by Tom Kirkpatrick on Wed Jan 03, 2018 3:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
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